Detached Memories
by Detached
Summary: In the cycle of death and rebirth two people have been given a second chance...but when old memories resurface, will the ending be different? Or will the same pattern repeat itself? L/Raito.
1. Chapter 1

**Detached: **Ok people. This has been sitting in my computer for a while now, couple months at least and now since I finally have some time on my hands, I'm reading it and fixing it up to a decent reading level in order to present this to you guys. I've never posted anything but I've been playing god "ahem" with Death Note for a while now and I actually have a few storylines with the "Detached Memories" title theme. If you deem me worthy I may put a few of the others up as well. I'll talk more about the story and the few additions after the chapter, just know I sort of skip points of view in the beginning. I don't want to bore you so I'll start it now.

**Detached Memories**

_It was cold, no he was cold. Why? Why was he so cold? It covered him in a thin veil, wrapping him and constricting his chest, but he didn't know why, no he couldn't remember why. It was ending. What was about to happen could not be changed, he knew that instinctively. _

_The blood was pounding in his ears, but what caused it? Exhilaration? Disappointment? Regret? Was he actually regretting his decision? _

_The old man fell. The screen went blank with the deletion of data. It was too late now, too late to regret, he had made his decision. It was over. He had won._

_Raito watched the man fall out of the chair, much like a single domino toppling over. He couldn't believe it was finally happening, although this was what he had planned for. He caught him effortlessly, instinctively. This is what he'd wanted, he thought to himself as he looked down at the man in his arms. _

_A pair of dark, hypnotic eyes looked up at him, meeting his own, watching him, piercing him. The man knew now, he had always suspected him, but now…he knew. And they both knew he was dying. It was over. The look that he was being given felt so much worse than anything he'd ever experienced. The look he received was filled with pain, regret and realization, asking an unspoken question 'Why?' something that their owner could not say._

_The grin spread to his face, a small grin he only let this person see, a look of victory, smugness from finally outwitting this man, from defeating him. It was a childish grin, a childish win, but had either of them really been adults? But as he watched the man fade, starting to drop from the reality, the grin fell. Over. It was over. This person would no longer exist, no longer held any warmth, no longer be able to speak. He would become a memory._

_The act ended then, he couldn't do it; he couldn't fake this act because he did regret it. As he watched the hypnotic eyes close, he returned the stare, with not an act, but the true regret he felt, everything he had tried to delude himself into was false, the only thing that was real to him was the person in his arms. His mission? What was it again? He couldn't remember, he couldn't remember anything, couldn't think of anything besides the man in his arms. There was nothing else, there was no one else. The eyes closed never to open again. _

_What have I done? He thought to himself with horror, as he fitfully tried to shake the still warm body in his arms. What have I done?_

"_Wake up! You're not dead! You…you can't be dead! I won't let you die!" Words poured from his mouth, screams and shouts. He vaguely remembered being pulled, no pried away from the body, the body that he had killed. It wasn't a person anymore, just a body. The person was still in his memories, tormenting him, and they would for eternity. What god didn't have his own cross to bear? But it hurt, damnit it hurt. His heart hurt. _

"_I'm so sorry, Ry-"_

Raito Yagami woke up covered in a cold sweat with tears streaming down his face. He sat up quickly, desperately trying to remember what he had to say, what he had been dreaming about, but as always the dream was slipping away from him, drifting away again, only to haunt him later.

_Just as well, _he thought to himself as he got out of bed. _Maybe I shouldn't remember._ But that wasn't true and he knew it, somewhere deep within him he knew that forgetting would have been an insult the owner of the pair of eyes in his dreams. And he didn't want to insult them, he knew that.

He got out of bed slowly and stood up. _Ten' o'clock, I have just enough time_. He always slept through any alarm he had when he dreamed. He started a pot of coffee and jumped into the shower. When he was dressed, his phone rang.

"Can you come in now?" a desperate voice asked. "Car accident, two fatalities and the third…" Raito nodded as he pulled on his jacket, knowing the other person could see him. "Very well, I'll be there in six minutes, make some coffee." he turned his own coffeepot off and stepped out into the street. His house was rather large for one person, but he liked it all the same, besides his sister came over often enough when she didn't want to get up earlier for her seminars. Still as he stepped onto the moving platforms, he had a feeling that something was going to happen today.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

"I'll be fine, don't you worry Mrs. Arisa. I think I just sprained it. Your husband however has passed on." The man said as he walked out of the house, taking care not to place too much pressure on his foot.

"I still think you should go to the hospital."

"I may just do that," he said quickly wincing slightly as he applied pressure to his foot. It was broken, he would be stuck like this for three weeks, but he couldn't really find the disappointment at the moment when he saw how happy she was. Her husband had been trying for years asking for help. His murder had finally been put to rest and the young man felt proud of himself.

"Good, do you need a ride?"

"I have enough money to ride the platform Ms. Arisa."

"Take care of yourself." he nodded as he turned around and walked away. He didn't really want to go to a hospital. Hospitals were full of sprits, some nice, some not so nice, and they always made him sick. He wasn't going to wait until he received an infection however, as it most likely would have if he didn't go now. "But hospitals are so expensive." he grumbled as he placed money onto the platform. "Tokyo Hospital."

"One moment please." The automated voice recited back to him the location.

"Correct." he felt the sinking feeling that he was descending and then he was there, outside the hospital, he could hear the wailings of and see the ambulances from here. There were two of them. They stopped and he clearly say a sign of a recently dead, the faint orange glow that represented a new spirit.

"Maybe I can wait a couple of hours," he sighed as he sat down on a bench.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

Raito was exhausted; he had spent nearly eight hours in surgery! The boy had had some serious damage though, but he would be fine now, Raito had made sure of it. Sure he had suffered some nerve damage, he would have to learn how to walk again but his brain remained intact. He would be fine.

Raito felt pleased with himself as he opened a water bottle, he needed something cool. Raito wasn't sure why he had become a doctor. He hated people who talked to him as if he wouldn't say anything in return as if he was stupid. He didn't like people much at all. But he did like the feeling he received on a day like today, when he was able to save a life. It felt almost compulsory to him, saving someone and so he would. Again and again. But the feeling would be gone as quickly as it had come.

He started to walk towards the waiting rooms, looking for the boy's mother.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

He had taken a nap on the bench; sharing his body always drained him. He looked up; he never carried a watch, besides they refused to work for him. It must be around four, he thought as he walked into the building. He immediately hunched over as if he had been punched, he would have thrown up had he eaten today. Today was a horrible day to be in the hospital; he saw six pale orange spirits spending there last few minutes with their loved ones, before leaving the world or remaining. He was preparing to leave, he would come back another day, when one spirit saw him staring around and moved up to him.

"Can you see me?"

The man, unable to talk, nodded weakly.

"Can you tell my wife a few things?" he nodded weakly again. He would move on after this and check up on his family on occasion. He hadn't been planning on staying, but he couldn't refuse the request either.

"Just…give…me a moment…" he gasped.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

Raito walked into the room a couple hours later. The boy was stabilized and it was determined that he would live. He went over to the mother who was crying, well sobbing actually. Raito felt nothing for her however. It always made his job easier when he didn't have good news.

His eyes widened as he realized she was talking to a man, who was hunched over and clutching his stomach. It wasn't his problem, but he walked closer. Suddenly the woman slapped the young man.

"How dare you spout such lies! I cannot believe you think I would buy that!"

Raito had come close enough to hear the other man. "But, it is all true," he whispered. Whatever the man had been saying had been honest.

"If it is then you belong in an asylum, not here."

"No, he wants you to know that your daughter-"

"I do not have a daughter!"

"You do not have one yet." he stated calmly. "She'll be born soon enough. Your husband's final gift." she slapped him again and Raito stepped in.

"I know you've had a terrible experience but I condone fighting under my wing." he stated calmly although his eyes were icy. "I would prefer you to stop. Has this man done anything wrong?"

"He is a lying swindler, trying to get money out of me right here in the hospital."

"I want no money, just to tell you that your son will be fine and your daughter-"

"I do not wish to hear it." the man stopped talking, dejected.

"Well, Mayuno-san, you're son will be just fine. It was a difficult operation, but we were able to save him."

She looked up with tear rimmed eyes.

"You'll be able to see him when he wakes up. I shall be in tomorrow." he walked away pulling the man's sleeve so he would walk with him. He noticed he was limping rather badly.

"So you were here for medical attention, then?"

"Of course, I wouldn't be here otherwise."

"And why would that be?" he looked into the man's eyes and startled, released his grip. The man wasn't unaffected either. As he looked into those honey golden eyes, something akin to a memory stirred in his head. Not only that, he noticed the shadows behind the man. There were so many! He couldn't really believe his eyes. As he watched several disappeared into the next plane, he could hear the faint pop as each disappeared. He took as step back and winced.

"Come to my office." he stepped into an elevator and the dark haired man followed. Once inside, he looked around. There was a large desk with a computer and several filing cabinets, but overall the room was extremely plain. But it was large. He motioned the man to sit down.

Once he did, Raito picked up the leg, quickly and looked it over. This is a bad break, why were you not here sooner?" Breaks were not really his specialty, but he knew how to fix them. He pulled up a kit and stared to wrap the ankle.

"How did you do this?"

"I fell down a flight of stairs." Raito nodded, unconvinced at the explanation but accepting it all the same.

"And what was the scene downstairs about?"

"Her husband wanted her to know a few things."

"Her dead husband?"

"Yes he is dead."

"Dead people do not speak."

"Spirits of the dead do." Raito stared at him for a moment. "Yes, I can see them, and no I am not crazy. I can give you a description if you want."

"That is alright. This is a strange world we are a part of."

"What is your name?"

"L".

A ghost of a smile appeared on Raito's face. "Where did you find such a name and how did you choose it?" L nodded, the man knew of the historical significance of his name.

"I'm surprised that you know of the Kira story. It has been covered up pretty well, with all the propaganda and wars and diseases."

"As am I of your knowing. They do not teach that in schools."

"Ah, I learned from a secondhand source."

"And why are you sharing this with me?"

"You learned from something similar."

"Correct, Yagami-san." he said slowly taking note of the name on the desk. Something stirred again. There was something about this man, about L.

"From what then?"

"I think you have other problems at the moment. Your grandmother is currently shouting at you." Raito did feel a low buzz in his ear.

"What does she look like?"

"Well, first off she has black hair, rather short and she keeps telling you to call your sister in-between shouts involving a boy that is garbage and dinner plans. He has three girlfriends apparently."

Raito flipped open his phone and called his sister.

"Hey, Sayu. How are you? Well I just got off work, how about I pick up some …Chinese food on the way home. You're not with Takumi are you?" he faced silence before she announced. "I'll be home for dinner Onii-chan!" and hung up.

"Your grandmother disappeared, going to see her probably."

"She's not my grandmother." L frowned; the woman had looked too old to be his mother.

"Oh, I assumed-"

"She's my great-grandmother." L nodded as Raito stood.

"Well, since I now have dinner plans now so would you like to come?" Raito wasn't sure why he invited the man in the first place, although he quickly formed a reason. "I would appreciate you not saying anything about what happened downstairs." L nodded understandingly.

"She was feeling helpless, I didn't really mind. Besides, some part of her desperately wants to believe what I said was true."

"Is it?"

"Of course. I shall join you for dinner, but do you perhaps have any cake?"

Raito himself didn't care for sweet things. They all tasted like sugar to him.

"No, but I shall buy one, there is a pastry shop near the Chinese restaurant." He pulled off his white jacket and placed the dark one on in its place. L noted that even though the jacket may have looked expensive, it was not. He was practical and he made the jacket appear expensive.

"Do you have a coat?"

"No, I left it behind…somewhere." L, when he was on a job, usually forgot things that were not of utmost importance. "Ah, at the hotel." he said as he thought on it.

"You live at a hotel?"

"No. I move around constantly." Raito nodded handing him a second coat, almost identical to the first. L took it and placed it on. Raito made the jacket suit him, whereas L looked like the jacket was wearing him, not the other way around. He stood up slightly, straightening it.

Raito walked out of the hospital and L followed. He ordered dinner and they sat within the pastry shop as they waited for the restaurant to cook the food. He had ordered the cake and bought L a piece while they waited. L had a strange way of eating, holding the fork between his forefinger and thumb, but Raito didn't really mind. L was offering him the most interesting conversation he'd had in a while. L was smart, much smarter than he looked. At one point they were speaking in English with one another, then French, then Japanese again.

Finally Raito stood up and went across the street to pick up their food and L followed. They arrived at his house a few minutes later. Sayu was in the house and L noticed that the grandmother was hovering over her, whispering various things to the girl. Both the ghost and the girl turned around simultaneously to look at them.

Sayu had black hair and brown eyes and if L could explain how she looked in one word, it would be strong. She looked gentle, with soft curves and a wide smile, but her eyes told a different story. She actually reminded him very much of the woman hovering behind her.

"Good evening." He said to both of them.

"Hey, Onii-chan, who's this? Your lover?" L looked over at the brunette. He was agitated by this comment although he wouldn't show it.

"I've got dinner Sayu. This is…" he didn't want to say L.

"You may call me Law." he told them both, letting Raito know that wasn't his name either.

"Oh, well hello Law-san."

"So is he?"

"No, there was some trouble at the hospital today so I invited him to dinner."

"Oh." she sounded disappointed as she opened the bag. "It's just that you don't talk to anyone except Teru-chan and me anymore. You should get yourself a girlfriend."

"I don't need one." he said as he pulled out the dinner settings.

"What happened with Taka-chan? I thought you were going to marry her."

"I've told you before I had no intention of doing so. This is not a topic to discuss again." he knew his sister was doing this both to annoy him and to see L's response to the information.

"So you live here all alone, then?" he said as he sat down.

"Yes. Sayu will stay for her lectures though."

"I'm not here very often, though." she chipped in.

"So were you with Takumi?" her smile disappeared.

"Why don't you like him Onii-chan?"

"He has three other girlfriends." L supplied.

"Who says?"

"Your great-grandmother. She says he deserves to live in a garbage can." she smiled slightly.

"That does sound like something she'd say."

"She says to call him tomorrow at two in the afternoon. He'll be with…Mari, I think her name is?" her eyes became dark. "Mari said she was going to see her father."

"I'm just saying what she's telling me."

"But she's dead." she said realizing who he was referring to.

"Ah, her body might be, but her spirit isn't and her voice definitely isn't. Ethereal bodies are just containers for eternal spirits."

"So are you a fortune teller too?"

Raito saw L's eyes become slightly icy. "No, I am not a fortune teller."

"Oh, sorry. Do you want some noodles?"

"No, I'd rather have some cake."

"Just cake?"

"Just cake."

"That's like Onii-chan. He doesn't like food unless it's spicy or something."

"That is interesting."

"So how often do you eat cake?"

"Every day."

"And you're that skinny. That's not fair."

"I am not skinny."

"Fine, lean then. If I ate cake every day, I'd look like a balloon." Even though that wasn't quite physically accurate neither L nor Raito said anything. L opened the cake box and took out a rather large piece. The way he was trying to sit hurt his ankle so he compromised sitting cross legged in the chair as he started to eat. He listened to Sayu talk. And talk. And talk some more. When she was finished she put her plate down and said she had homework.

Raito went to wash the dishes as L helped himself to another piece of cake.

"You don't look much like your sister."

"No, I don't look like my parents either."

"You don't look like any members of your family?" L had not only been listening to the sister, but the grandmother as well.

"Well she used to say that I looked very much like her brother, but I never met him."

"What did your parents say?"

"They never met him either. He died while my great grandmother was in high school."

"Not too long after his father?" Raito thought for a moment.

"Yes…" he said slowly. "A couple of years later."

"And you're named after him?" Raito nodded.

"So you're talking to her?"

"Well, listening Raito-kun. She does like to talk."

"So why are you asking me then?"

"Like I said before, she likes to talk. About everything, including how cute her high school uniform used to be." Raito nodded, knowing full well what she had been like.

"She's glad you became a doctor, she says her grandson wasn't right about how difficult it is." she had started to talk about how she had wanted to be a nurse so L turned to Raito.

"Did you want to become a doctor?"

"Not really."

"Then why?"

"I'm not sure, but when I save someone's life it makes the-" he stopped. It was too easy to talk to this man and he didn't like it.

"It makes what, Raito-kun?"

"Nothing." L looked over to the woman who, for the first time, wasn't talking. So he had to find out on his own then? How interesting.

"Well, I should be getting back to the hotel then. I'll have to pick up my equipment before they throw it away."

"You don't have an apartment?"

"No, I did, once, but because I spent seventy-two percent of my time elsewhere it became an expense rather than an asset."

"So you carry everything around with you?"

"Correct Raito-kun."

"Can you walk?"

"No, I'll probably have to pay for the platform. Again."

"Do you have much money?"

"I have a decent amount, but I'd rather not spend it unless deemed necessary. Riding the train now though is not a wise thing to do at this time."

"Look, why don't you let me get your equipment. I'd rather not have to fix you up again." He had that small smirk on his face again. But L was rather partial to his equipment, and he probably couldn't carry everything either.

"Very well." he said dejected. "Be careful with it." Raito nodded. L told him the room code and information, and then Raito was gone.

"Onii-chan?" Sayu asked as she walked out. "Oh, you're still here Law-san? Do you know where Oni-chan is?"

"He went to go retrieve my things. I'm not really in a position to be carrying anything just yet."

"So you're staying here tonight?"

"I suppose so."

"Can you help me with this? I was going to ask Onii-chan but I have a feeling that you know how to do them also." he looked over at the problems. It was a cumulative math review. And according to her work, math didn't seem to be her strong spot.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

Raito walked in some time later with three bags, two of them being equipment. He heard his sister in the kitchen.

"Do you understand, then?"

"Umm…I think so." So she was trying math again. He walked in and looked at the paper. She was doing it correctly, but L looked tired. Tutoring his sister was not an easy task.

"So if you subtract forty seven degrees, thirteen feet and forty-four seconds with thirty-two degrees seven feet and thirty-one seconds you receive a five degree, four feet and thirteen second difference and then you…" she paused for several seconds. 'Then you divide the feet by sixty and the seconds by thirty-six hundred and add them together to get… eight point zero seven one. Then you multiply by pi and divide by one hundred eighty degrees to receive…" she reached for her calculator.

"Point one hundred forty-one." Raito and L said simultaneously.

She wrote it down. "Why are you both calculators? It's not fair." She closed the book. Thanks, Law-kun, Onii-chan.

"You should check your work Sayu."

"I'll be fine, I just needed help with those few." she said walking away.

"So am I staying here then?"

"Of course." Raito said bluntly. "It is more practical that way. If you ever have a job nearby, you can stop by also. I usually work during the day though." Raito wasn't quite sure why he had invited a person he'd known for less than a day to visit his house in the future, but he did wish to speak with L again. L nodded solemnly and walked toward the room Raito specified.

When Raito came home the next day from work, L was gone.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

**Detached:** So…what do you think? I butchered the beginning about six or seven times. I don't like the memories, but they're necessary. I also wanted a kind of heaven/punishment scene, but that was really bad, so it disappeared. Completely. Okay, this story, if you haven't realized, is in the future. The Kira age has been glossed over, more like a scary bedtime story than anything else. Everyone has the same name in this one because…I say so. It's about eighty-ish years in the future. That's important later. Not so much for the years, but for a human lifespan to match. The platform is an advanced mode of transportation and the train had become the cheaper, more…questionable way to travel. By the way, with Raito being a doctor, he gets to ride it for free! But he doesn't abuse the privilege! Isn't he such a good ex-mass murderer? Oh, I don't own Death Note. I think I'm finished for now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Detached**: Here again. Another chapter. I feel like a large nerd at the moment and Happy New year! I don't know how many people are in 2008 just yet, but Happy New Year all the same! So, the story continues.

**L**: And it continues to further itself from the original idea.

**Detached**: Hey, you know most of my ideas do become stranger in the early hours of the morning!

**L:** Of course.

**Detached:** You know I think you're making fun of me.

**Raito:** You just figured that out?

**Detached:** I…uh…no. I may not own the originals, but I created you two! Sort of.

**L:** But we are based heavily upon the originals.

**Detached:** …shut up…

**Raito**: It's true, she doesn't own us. Now the story will continue.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

_It was quiet, too quiet._ _There was no noise, not the clack of a keyboard or the small comments that had become routine. He heard a slight noise that sounded like a fork hitting a plate. He must have been eating again. It didn't matter what the sound was, Raito was glad for any sound. It was unlike the detective to be so quiet. He was doing it on purpose, to mess with him, to tease him. He may have said he hated the noises, but he needed them now to work properly, to think properly._

_Raito looked at the computer behind him, half expecting someone to be there, incessantly typing away at the computer, but he wasn't._

_Why? Raito asked himself, Why aren't you there? _

_He looked down at his wrist, the mark had faded completely. Where are you? he asked again. Oh, that's right. You're dead. I killed you. Raito placed his head in his hands for a moment before pulling away, focusing on his work once again. He had no time to waste. But time had never been wasted when Raito had spent time with him, not really._

"_I'm sorry, Ryuu."_

Raito sat up quickly, breathing heavily and gripping the sheets tightly.

"Why can't I remember?" he whispered as he tried to recall the dream. "I'm sorry," he said again and again, desperately trying to remember what he was sorry for.

After a considerable amount of time, Raito stood, getting ready for work. As he dressed, he thought to himself. "Twice in one month, that hasn't happened in years."

It had been a few weeks and he had still not heard from L, and as much as he hated to admit it, he wanted to talk with the detective again. It had been far too long since he had had a conversation that he had thoroughly enjoyed with another. He handed his current patient's data over to a nurse, his day was over. He decided to cook himself something, since he knew that Sayu wouldn't be staying over. It was always easier to cook when she didn't hover around him, or decide to make unique additions to the food.

He stepped off the platform and walked toward his house. After stepping inside he saw a group of bags on the floor. L's bags. His first thought was that he was glad that L had decided to return but that was quickly replaced with thoughts of how L got into his house.

L came out of the kitchen, a plate of cake in hand. Raito noticed that L's limp was minimal.

"Good afternoon, Raito-kun," he said as he pulled out a spare key out of his pocket. "Hiding in plain sight, very clever Raito-kun." _Well,_ Raito thought, _if anyone would figure out where the key was it would have been him_. Not that Raito would ever forget his key, but it was a precautionary measure for Sayu.

"So you have work in the area then?" he asked.

"Correct, but if you no longer wish me to stay…" L let his statement go unfinished.

"No, there is no problem." They returned to the kitchen. "How has your work been?"

"In one case, the ghost had fully formed hands. It was quite interesting." Raito had not been one to study ghosts or the paranormal in general, but during the past few weeks he had looked and read several hundred articles, books and documentaries involving ghosts and apparitions. He also had a number of questions for L.

"So how come you can actually speak with her?" he was referring to his great-grandmother.

"Well," L said slowly, "She is not currently here with us, but spirits who have passed from one plane to the next and merely return for short periods choose to be fully formed or not. It is their own choice. I have met a variety of spirits that choose different degrees of appearance.

Raito was intrigued. L talked of ghosts as people, something a vast majority of writers had ignored or poorly addressed. But, then again, L had firsthand experience. Students could operate all they wanted on human replicas, but actually having a pulse, a tangible thread of life beneath you, within your hands was something else entirely.

"So she just chooses to watch us then?"

"Apparently. I have yet to have a serious conversation with her Raito-kun."

They talked for hours about everything and anything. Well, everything except themselves, but neither of them really minded. L had much more paranormal knowledge than Raito and Raito knew much more about how a human body worked than strictly necessary. They also determined that in addition to Spanish, French, and English, they could also both speak Russian, Portuguese, and Chinese. They also knew Latin, which was still, unfortunately, L thought, a dead language.

"I'm surprised Raito-kun knows so many languages."

"I'd rather talk to my patients directly than through another."

L knew that there was some truth to what Raito had said, but it wasn't because he wanted to be closer to his patients, he just didn't like to rely on others. Besides, every new language was a challenge for him. It would have also undoubtedly helped him receive better position since the majority of countries now had such high mixtures of foreigners along with the native speakers, especially large cities such as Tokyo, with even larger hospitals.

Throughout their conversation L had been using two terms whenever he referred to apparitions. Raito knew that L wasn't using then interchangeably but he did not know what the two terms exactly meant to L.

"What is the difference between a ghost and a spirit to you?" he asked when he had poured them both teas.

L stared at him thoughtfully for a moment. "In my opinion," he started as he dropped a sugar cube into his tea, "is that a spirit is a form that has passed" he added a second, "from on plane to another, whereas," he added two more, "a ghost is the remainder of a spirit that continues to remain attached to someone," he paused for a moment as he added another. "To someone…or something and therefore," he placed a sugar cube directly onto his tongue, "they cannot ascend to the next plane." He picked up his spoon and began to stir his tea. "They are stuck and cannot move on without assistance." He removed the spoon and placed the cup to his lips.

"And that assistance is you?"

"Occasionally, Raito-kun, I help when I can, with both the living and the dead. I however do not delude myself into believing I can save everyone, living or dead. I merely do what I can.

"By passing on do you mean reincarnation?" L nodded silently.

"Have you ever-? Raito was interrupted by his cell phone ringing. He stood up and grabbed his jacket and pulled out his phone after he had put on the jacket.

"Can you come in?" the voice was so loud L could hear it from where he was. Or maybe his hearing was just that good. It was a little of both, he decided as Raito pulled the phone slightly away from his ear. "We've got two X-children. Female. One needs immediate-"

"I'll be there. Prep a room for me if it's necessary." he snapped the phone shut, before turning to L.

"I have to go."

L nodded before saying. "I am coming also." Normally L would have avoided the hospital, but the chance of seeing other X-children was too great to give up. If they could be helped he would arrange for them to be sent to a proper facility. He was also thinking about Raito's behavior. _You started to put on your jacket before you even answered the phone. What are you hiding Raito-kun? _

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

As he walked in, L, who was trailing behind him saw the brunette's whole demeanor change, L supposed that the last time he had been here Raito had been in extensive surgery with the boy, so he had been less…like he was at the moment. He knew that Raito appreciated intelligence and he knew that the Raito he knew did not act like this. Raito was wearing a mask. L supposed he had to be if he was to survive in the medical world, considering his age. L had looked up the background and had been impressed.

Raito Yagami. Age twenty-three. Born on March second. Graduated from a prestigious university with a major in crime and the judicial system, and then finished a six year medical program in three years after changing his major. That also surprised L; Raito didn't seem the type to make rash decisions, especially with his career. Became a surgeon almost immediately out of college and moved through hospital ranks almost monthly. He had very recently obtained his own wing of the hospital to run and was currently doing a tremendous job with it, according to the monthly budget spending statistics.

Raito was now basically an emotionless doll. A man there handed Raito an amount of paperwork, currently not noticing L. Raito looked over the papers quickly.

"Is the room prepped?"

"Yes, Yagami-san."

"Good. Give the younger one a drink, anything she wants, with a sedative. I cannot perform surgery on one while the other is behaving erratically." The man nodded before looking at L.

"Who's this?"

"An acquaintance of mine. He was visiting me and decided to come along. He will be assisting me for this procedure." Raito would have much preferred L to any of the other doctors currently on staff. L nodded quickly.

"But Yagami-san-"

"Enough. Do what I said and tell which room she is in." the man did and Raito walked away. L followed.

As they were getting dressed, L looked over at Raito.

"Do you want to question my proficiency with medical tools?"

"Not really. Your information from earlier conversations is proof enough that you've dealt with such things previously. Besides, it's afterwards that your help will be most appreciated." L nodded.

In the room, L glanced at Raito. Even in such an outfit, Raito made it look like he had chosen to wear the outfit, not the other way around. Raito took a quick look at L as he walked over to the girl. L's hair looked as if it was trying to rebel against the hair cap he was wearing.

Then he looked at the girl and his mind focused. Wandering thoughts resulted in failure. Innumerable bruises covered the parts of her body that he could see and more than likely the parts that he couldn't also. He grabbed a scalpel.

"Let's begin."

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

Several hours later, Raito finished. As they walked out, someone came up to him. The way he carried himself, he was important. L had actually seen this man in articles before.

"Good afternoon, Yagami-san."

"You also, Hikawa-san." Yes, L had heard of this man before.

"Why did you come in? I was here."

"You knew I'd be here anyway, so why ask? I have someone else to deal with at the moment." Raito dismissed the man as he started to walk away.

"Why did you pull an unlicensed doctor into the room?"

"I am not unlicensed Hikawa-san." L stated plainly as he followed Raito. "Raito-kun would not place an innocent life in danger."

The man was walking alongside them now.

"Even if he was an unlicensed doctor, he is far more proficient than some of the licensed doctors we have on staff. I know you watched the procedure, as undoubtedly many others will also see. And I do not remember seeing your face in the prep room. Now if you'll excuse me." Raito stepped into a room and L followed. The man stayed behind, silently fuming.

"Hello, Tojo-san." Raito's whole demeanor had changed again. He was not hiding anything, or trying to at any rate.

The girl remained silent. So Raito tried again. "You're sister will be fine Tojo-san. We just came out of surgery with her."

The girl glanced up at L, then Raito before she whispered. "Don't call me that."

"Tojo-san." she nodded. "Than what would you like to be called, miss?" Raito was on his knees, eye level with the girl.

"Akari." She whispered even lower than before looking down again.

"You don't have to worry; I am the doctor in charge of this unit. I won't let anyone bother you. Or your sister, Akari-chan." The girl hiccupped, before starting to cry uncontrollably. Raito, without a second thought, scooped the girl up into his arms as she clung to him sobbing. He whispered to her softly, soothingly as he stoked her hair. Eventually she fell asleep and Raito placed her back into bed.

Raito looked at L.

"You're not afraid to touch an X-child?"

"No, that would be stupid. That's why they have such tragic lives, because they are exploited and unloved. Especially those two. They called me in for a reason."

Again, Raito's stance on this made L think to himself. It could be possible…especially if he himself was…well it would make sense…but no one treated Raito differently…but his father did police work…_I'll have to look into it _L decided.

"You don't look so well." Raito noted.

"Some spirits are not friendly, not to mention those who insist on having me feel their pain." Raito nodded.

"We'll I'm going to remain here until the other sister wakes up."

"I shall as well. You are quite good with children."

"Children are not like people." he stated, "Being anything less than open to them is an insult to their intelligence."

L didn't think Raito would ever stop surprising him.

"However, when they grow up, it is a different story. X-children are human also, whether people want to believe it or not."

"…" L did not think that Raito could feel so strongly about something.

"Are you actually licensed L?"

L was slightly hurt at the fact that Raito hadn't believed him, that the brunette had thought he had lied.

"In several countries. I did say I was licensed. I do not lie unless it is completely necessary." _Yet my whole life is built on "lies"._

Even though L's face and voice had remained impassive, his words were sharper somehow.

"I didn't forget, just the probability of you being truly licensed was-"

"Greater than the chance of me lying." Raito raised an eyebrow. _So L doesn't like being called a liar?_

"What about your name?"

"Hiding and lying outright are two different things."

"I suppose so."

Another doctor stopped him.

"Raito-san, the girl has woken up."

"Than you, Imai-san."

"Who's this?"

"I am called Law, Imai-san." He gave a slight bow. She was a few inches shorter than Raito with short black hair and a small figure, but the way she acted towards Raito was…annoying. It just was, she wasn't throwing herself at him, but he didn't like her. And from the way she was glaring at him she didn't really like him either.

"How do you know Law-san?"

"We met at a hospital. He is a licensed doctor, Imai-san."

"I've told you time and time again, you can call me Takada." Ah, so that's who he was talking to, a previous lover of Raito's. Taka-chan, as Sayu liked to call her.

'Well, if you'll excuse me, Imai-san."

"So that was the girl you were going to marry? She seems intelligent."

"I did date her, but I didn't intend to marry her."

"So was the sex that bad?" Raito spun around, surprised.

"You have no need to know."

"So it was then? She does act as if you were the best sexual being in the world."

"Any girl I've kissed will say that I am, even if I didn't." This was a majority of them. Even out of those he slept with, Raito had never slept with any of them more than a couple of times. He felt no enjoyment from being with them, it was merely for appearances. "We're here." He opened the door, ending all future questions from L.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

"Hello, Tojo-san." The girl smiled weakly at him.

"Hello doctor. Are you the one who fixed me?"

"Yes, Tojo-san. You can call me Raito. Do you feel alright?" Raito had sat down in a chair next to her bed. L sat in the other. Well crouched in it, but Raito didn't mind.

"I'm fine. What about Akari?"

"I saw her a little while ago. She will be fine." The girl smiled weakly again.

"That's good." She reached for his hand instinctively and when Raito gave it, she was surprised, and then she flinched and released it.

"I'm sorry."

"Why, Tojo-san?"

"I was making sure that you were telling the truth about Akari and…" she looked away.

"It's alright. I wouldn't have believed myself either Tojo-san."

"Ayaha."

"Well then Ayaha-san. I just want you to know that you and your sister are under my care and that I won't let others bother you." She smiled again.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now you should rest." L had stood up.

"Who are you?"

L leaned down next to the girl and whispered something Raito couldn't catch. She smiled wider.

"I think I understand now." she said as she looking at Raito.

When they walked out Raito looked over at L. "So what did you tell her?"

"An answer to her question, Raito-kun." Raito knew that L wasn't going to tell him anymore so he asked something else.

"What is your stance on X-children?"

"An X-child is a child whose genes have arranged themselves into patterns opening different cognitive abilities of the brain, such as the ability to see the past, future, or telekinesis. There are also empaths; he added who can feel a person's true emotions. In essence, psychics." _This is why Raito keeps his mind clean when talking to them. _L thought to himself.

"That's not what I asked and no, as I stated before, children can read people far easier than adults, I treat all children the same."

"I think they are human and deserve to be treated as such and not as abominations or abnormalities. People are afraid of what they do not understand and so these children suffer."

"Do you know any X-children?"

"Perhaps I do, Raito-kun."

Raito would have to ask further about the abilities of X-children in his spare time. Raito knew that X-children often had those abilities but he wondered what other abilities could be attributed to being an X-child. Such as seeing ghosts. But he wasn't sure if he really wanted to know, because if L really was an X-child, which would mean that L's scars would have come from other people and not some kind of accident.

L hunched over and started to walk down the hall.

"I'm hungry, Raito-kun."

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

The next few months passed quickly. L had spent only a day or two at first, but that had slowly increased over time. L now spent a week or more over the entire month, and he had finally started leaving unmistakable signs of his presence. A cake plate here or a piece of equipment or clothing that he had forgotten about. L didn't pay Raito money, even though he had offered. Usually they would talk when they had time.

Raito quite enjoyed talking with the detective, about cases, whether they were about the living or dead, about Raito's work and how the girls were doing, about just about anything actually. If they had time they would play chess or even tennis and fight against each other head on with nothing except their fierce personalities and desire to win. They often didn't have much time for either of those, due to Raito's frequent calls to the hospital or Sayu's frequent interruptions.

L had realized that Raito spent at least sixty hours within the hospital a week itself, not to mention the number of calls he'd get for precision operations. L would tag along occasionally, but hospitals were not his favorite places to be.

Raito walked though the door, dinner for him and cake for L. It was clearly unhealthy for L to consume so much cake daily, but if it worked for L he wasn't one to argue against it. He had bought strawberry shortcake for L which was the detective's favorite. L looked up from the television. He had been watching news report. The television was rarely on in Raito's house, it was on for either the news or weather. And Sayu's shows, which often involved a limited plot and even further limited characters.

L's eyes lit up as he saw the cake box. "Good evening, Raito-kun."

"So what's happening?"

"The Wimbledon tennis courts have been removed of all threats and the criminals captured. Also, the man responsible for the current strangled deaths has been arrested." Those had both been cases L had dealt with and Raito knew it. He had not known the importance of the cases L took. From what he knew L had many aliases ranging through all types of proficiency, from elite to minor investigations and he solved them all effortlessly.

Raito handed L the cake box which the detective took a little too quickly and opened it. Raito saw a slight smile cross the usually stoic face. _Amazing what sugar can do._ He thought to himself.

"Thank you, Raito-kun." The brunette nodded as he sat to eat his own dinner as they watched the news and talked with one another. _How normal this is_, Raito thought to himself. _It's almost as if we're-_

"Raito-kun is my first friend." L said suddenly.

Raito felt a jolt run through him, and not just because they had been thinking along the same lines, but because those words meant something to him, but he wasn't sure what. Or why. He felt something stir within his mind. _Do I remember those words?_ He closed his eyes trying to remember.

L was watching the brunette for his reaction, he had first looked surprised, then confused, his statement ad been out of the blue. Then he had closed his eyes for a moment. When Raito opened his eyes again, they were darker and strangely familiar.

They were staring at him intently, but L had the feeling as if the eyes were penetrating him, yet he wasn't afraid because he knew that look. Raito placed his food down and moved closer to L who backed away slightly, purely out of reflex. The look Raito gave him then made him wish he hadn't moved.

Those eyes looked conflicted. Disappointed, sad, yet still understanding. Raito reached and picked up one of L's hands and slid the long shirt up several inches.

"Did you think I wouldn't notice these." he said stroking his fingers along the length of L's forearm. He was talking about the many burns that traveled along the length of L's forearm and if he had continued sliding the shirt upward, he would have seen rather different scars continue, a pattern across the majority of L's body.

"Even after everything I did to you still had to suffer. You still had to suffer again. The hand had move from the arm to cup L's face gently. L looked into those eyes again for several moments. Or it could have been hours, L wasn't sure, before Raito pulled the hand away.

"You're so cold," he said as he leaned backwards again. "You still don't remember." He sighed slightly before continuing. "You are my first and only friend. Never forget that."

Raito blinked and L saw the eyes change back to normal, the lighter shade L was accustomed to.

"Yeah, you're my friend too, L."

L blinked. Did Raito not remember? But the way he had spoken, the way he had acted, and his mannerisms, had been the same. The way Raito was acting…could he have been…no that's not possible…I would have sensed it…so what was it?

"Raito-kun?" the brunette looked over. "Why haven't you asked me about these?" he proffered his arm. Raito glanced at the burns before looking at L again.

"Everyone has things they wouldn't want others to know. Did you want me to ask?"

Raito was being sincere, which meant he didn't remember, which could mean…L stood up suddenly "Thank you again for the cake, but I have work to do. The detective walked away quickly.

Raito knew how L could be if he made connection with a case while they talked so he picked up the remains of their dinner. He felt slightly dazed, but he wasn't sure why. _I've been working too much again._

**Detached**: So, the plot thickens! Maybe…this is going somewhere, just so everyone knows. I hope I'll be able to update quickly, but once school starts again…

**L**: she just wants to prepare excuses for herself. She should be studying.

**Raito:** Yes, Mendel's properties of genetics are quite interesting.

**Detached**: I'm not sure why I'm in advanced bio. I will get an A in that class though if it kills me!

**L**: Then you should be studying!

**Detached:** Stop talking! Or you won't get any cake. So review please.


	3. Chapter 3

**Detached**: I've read this chapter about four times today alone. The chapter's shorter than the others, but I didn't want to edit the whole next chapter as well. I am trying my best to be consistent however. On another note, I really enjoyed writing the majority of this chapter. I don't own them, but now Raito can cook!

**L:** Do you wear an apron?

**Raito**: No.

**Detached**: Not yet! That's what sisters are for! They buy their brothers aprons and force them to wear them I can't do this; all my brothers are less than ten….it's not fair.

**L:** So you will wear an apron.

**Raito:** Men dominate the cooking world! And you can do laundry.

**L:** it is a necessary trait for those who live alone. Your clothes deteriorate faster if you wash everything together. And not everyone can afford a cleaner's.

**Raito**: …

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

_Raito labored around the kitchen, working slowly and quietly, adding ingredients into the bowl. Sugar, egg whites, vanilla…every step was performed carefully as if whatever he was making needed the utmost attention and precision. He placed it within the oven and waited. He never left his chair as he watched the cake._

"_Why is it?" he asked slowly, as if the cake itself would answer him. "Why is it the only time I've been in pain is when I think of you? When I remember you?" this was the time for regret, the one time he would allow himself to openly feel something, anything. His idea was empty now, lifeless. He continued it because it was the only thing he could do at this point. The rest of the time he felt lifeless also with nothing except the work he clung to._

_When he slept though, he remembered, and he hated that. More than anything. So he'd often distract himself. He didn't want to feel. It hurt too much. The timer rang and he stood up, pulling the now finished cake out of the over. It was perfect, just as it should have been._

_Raito stared at the cake that he had made again. The cake he had made for him._

_He slowly coated the cake with frosting, using deliberate slowness. Then he placed eight strawberries around it before cutting it into eight pieces and setting one aside._

"_Happy anniversary Ryuu." _

Raito woke; his head throbbing like it always did after this dream. He sat up thinking, which he often did if he had enough control not to cling to the sheets for dear life or whispering until his voice was hoarse.

Raito was glad that L wasn't here tonight, but what about next time? Or the time after that? He had never had to worry about this before. Sayu slept like a rock, but L, from the looks of it, hardly ever slept. If L stayed, the chances of him finding out were… he threw his covers off and stood up, stopping that train of thought. "I need a shower."

Raito stood underneath the water, letting the hot liquid cascade down his skin. His thoughts once again returned to his dream. That dream was the one he remembered the most of, and even then it wasn't much. In a way it was the worst one, simply because it was the only one that he really remembered. The cake, the sadness, the overwhelming feeling he couldn't understand, they were all related, he knew that. All of his dreams were related, but there was a missing piece, a missing link to tie it all together and he didn't know how he knew that or what the piece was. It was downright infuriating, and he began to wonder exactly why he wanted to recall the dreams in the first place.

"Damn it!" he said loudly, turning off the now cold water. He dressed quickly, he was planning on going running, he looked at the clock. It was barely after three, so running was out of the question. He walked into the kitchen and began to dig through the pantry.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

L walked through the door a few hours later. His nose was immediately bombarded with a variety of scents that one would normally find in a restaurant. Or maybe a bakery, he thought as he smelt the aroma of frosting, the hanging sugary smell that he adored, among the collage of other scents.

Sayu cooked often enough, but it was too early for her to be up it wasn't even six yet. It also smelt so much better. Thump. Thump. Thump. A constant pounding noise had begun. L walked into the kitchen and saw Raito viciously attacking a harmless piece of dough against the table again and again. L supposed the correct term was 'kneading' but to L it looked as if Raito was attacking it, much like older women did.

L also noticed a number of other projects around the kitchen, some finished some not, the majority of them being sweets of one kind or another.

The brunette was so absorbed in what he was doing that he did not notice L. His clothing, a dark sleeved shirt and a loose pair of dark pants, had many white patches, due to the flour that was currently flying about the kitchen.

A timer suddenly went off and Raito spun around, picked up a bowl, and started to mix…a batter of extremely delicious looking frosting, before setting it down again. He pushed the hair that was in the front of his face back, and in doing so, transferred some frosting from his hand onto his cheek.

He either didn't notice or care as he reached into the oven to pull out a cake. Homemade, there wasn't a single premixed box anywhere in sight. He placed the cake down, popping the pan open and slowly coating it with the frosting, L watched it melt hungrily. Raito, when he was finished turned back to the dough.

L was standing in the center of the kitchen now, but Raito had still not noticed him. L reached his hand over, and using his forefinger, scooped the frosting off the brunette's cheek.

Raito blinked and looked up at L in surprise. Any other person would have jumped backward, but then again, Raito wasn't any other person.

L licked up the frosting on his finger. It was better than several renowned bakery cakes that he'd had but it was the look on Raito's face that made him smile. That pure confusion had been priceless.

"This is quite good Raito-kun. So any particular reason for…this?" he gestured to the many ingredients around him.

"I just felt like cooking is all." That was a lie of course, but L was willing to let it slide. For now. He reached again for the frosting.

"No." Raito said quickly as he handed L a knife. "If you wish to remain, cut those in half." He nodded over to a pile of strawberries.

"Raito-kun is so cold." L stated as he shuffled over to the fruit. Raito had turned back to his work and as now ignoring L once again. L, even though his cooking skills were severely lacking, could at least cut. As he was cutting them, he realized they were fresh strawberries that had merely been frozen, not frozen ones. He looked around the kitchen again. The majority of the ingredients looked as if they had just been opened. _If Raito guarantees that all the necessary ingredients are available, then this must happen often enough._

The thumping of the dough had begun again, and L returned to his task. He looked over at the brunette again, watching him.

Raito was once again fully absorbed in his cooking multitasking. His hair stuck to the back of his neck as he worked, but he did not notice. His eyes were once again completely focused; it was as if he was performing a surgery. There was one difference however. As Raito worked, he appeared to become calmer, as if he was draining himself emotionally rather than physically. He appeared to be enjoying himself, even if he did not realize it. He was putting all of his effort, all of his heart into this.

Ouch. L felt pain and looked down. He had been paying so much attention to the brunette he had cut himself. He looked at the finger closely. It wasn't deep, but it was bleeding quite a bit. L watched the blood trail down his finger and arm, no longer noticing any pain.

Raito had placed the dough aside to rise and walked towards L. he saw the blood on the knife and quickly looked at L. the blood was now staining L's white shirt, not that the detective seemed to care. Raito grabbed the hand and held it tightly as his other hand reached for the bandages he kept in the kitchen for Sayu.

L blinked looking over at Raito, who was now wrapping the finger slowly. The kitchen suddenly seemed warmer to L. Raito took a cloth and started to wipe up the excess blood. He started to slide the shirt farther up L's arm, father than L had previously shown him. L tried to pull his hand away.

"I can do it."

"Don't worry about it. He slid the shirt up further to where the pattern began. His gaze settled on the markings. He had known about L's burns but this was a deliberate pattern, and it was definitely not self mutilation. L went to pull his hand away again, and this time, Raito let him. Raito had several questions to ask, but he knew better. He turned around and started to cut the strawberries with another knife.

"You're not allowed to cut anything else."

This was the second time someone had not drawn the conversation toward his markings, and like the first time, his gratitude was immeasurable.

"Do you wish to know Raito-kun?" the detective asked slowly. The sound of the chopping knife slowly stopped and the brunette paused, still not turning around.

"If I wish to know or not, the choice is still yours to make." He was letting L make the final decision. L's answer was to start to remove his shirt.

Raito heard a rustle and turned around as L pulled his shirt over his head. Raito stared at the chest in front of him. L may have appeared scrawny, but the body told otherwise. It was sinewy and looked strong. His shoulders however, were covered with the same markings as the length of his arms. His chest was untouched but he had a spiral trailing from the center of his stomach outward. L slowly started to turn around.

Raito bit the inside of his cheek.

L's back was covered in the same markings and scars. There were several patterns around what appeared to be a set of wings. It was all inked with dark colors. It looked like a large tattoo, except to Raito it was grotesque because L had certainly not wished to have this done to him. Raito reached his hand out and slowly trailed it along the markings, trying to convince himself that they were real, that they were really there.

"Who?" he whispered, "Why?"

"A twisted expression of love." L replied. "I was broken and needed to be fixed."

"Bro-ken?" Raito's voice had cracked slightly from anger. The hand fell to his side and L turned around, Raito's face was hardened in anger, his jaw set.

"Yes, broken." L had started to slide his shirt back onward. Raito was thinking.

"So you--" L shook his head silently. He gestured to the kitchen once again.

"What caused this?" Raito looked around, silently debating.

"I have…dreams." he stated finally. "Occasionally." He paused again. "Usually I can't remember anything but this one often…leads to this." he was referring to the kitchen. This merely strengthened L's hunch.

"How often?"

"Often enough." _A repetitive dream?_ L thought to himself.

Raito glanced back at L's arm. "So, who?"

They heard a door slam. Sayu was up. "Onii-chan? Are you cooking? It smells good. Did you make those chocolate thingies again? I liked those." She walked into the kitchen blinking from the light adjustment.

"Good morning Onii-chan, Law-kun." She reached blindly for a chocolate pastry. You haven't cooked since you cut your hair, Onii-chan.

Both young men were grateful for the conversation distraction and they figuratively attacked the statement.

"I didn't cut my hair that long ago" and "Raito-kun had long hair?" came almost simultaneously. Sayu focused her gaze on L.

"Yeah, it was much longer than it was right now." L couldn't really imagine Raito with long hair, all the pictures he'd seen had shown Raito to have about neck length hair, which was what he currently had, save the bangs.

"How long was it?"

"It was down to the middle of his back, but you couldn't really tell because he always had it tied back. He cut it after he got his own hospital wing. It really pissed off his bosses.

"That does seem like something Raito-kun would do."

"I know right!?" Sayu said eagerly. "Onii-chan said as long it didn't affect his performance and as long female doctors had longer hair so would he. Then he got promoted and cut it all off. What a waste. It was prettier than my hair."

"It was not a waste, just time for a change."

"It was. It annoyed not only his former superiors, but father too." she paused. "Well then again, after Onii-chan decided to become a doctor, everything annoyed him."

If L had been a cat, his ears would have gone up. Raito's father was not something that was spoken of often, due to unknown reasons. L had found no single specific reason within the files he'd looked up. He could only limit it to disappointment at Raito's career choice although L hadn't seen the man have any prejudice against doctors.

Raito's mother on the other hand was mentioned fairly often, and she'd even been over a couple of times, although L had not yet had the pleasure of meeting her.

"My stupid grandson." L looked over. It was Sayu. The 'other' Sayu.

"Hmm?" maybe she could offer him some information.

"My grandson thinks that Raito's job is easy and that he should have been on the police force. Stupid. It's not as if he had a choice."

"What do you mean by that?" This is what would often get L into trouble. He would start talking to a spirit and forget that it was no longer alive and couldn't be seen. Not that Raito really cared. He continued his conversation with his sister as if it was perfectly fine.

"I mean that Raito was meant to help the living not the dead, although he does both you know." L knew. Raito had been called in on a number of local Japanese cases as an alternate source of help. They older woman disappeared again, quickly as she had come. He turned back to the other Sayu.

"So my schedule has to be reorganized…Oh! Onii-chan! Teru-chan called yesterday! He's coming in today!"

"What time?" Raito asked patiently.

"Uh…three I think… good thing you're not working today, huh?"

"Yes that will work out well. Don't you have an early lecture today?" she glanced at the clock.

"Oh, you're right. I gotta get ready!" she grabbed another pastry and ran out of the kitchen.

Twenty minutes later, a fully dressed and showered Sayu was running out of the house. She even had makeup on.

"I don't understand it. If she has twenty minutes, she's ready in twenty minutes. If she has three hours, she's ready in three hours.

"The Feminine Mystique." L offered. Raito nodded as he turned back to his work. "Come help me with this."

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

If Raito had not known the full extent of L's cooking ability, he certainly knew now. Cleaning, however L was rather good at. When the kitchen looked less like a war zone and more like a kitchen again, L asked "Who's Teru?"

We went to college together. I see him occasionally when his work coincides with the area. He's a defense attorney. He's called "The guardian."

L was slightly surprised. This person was quite popular, especially among those who fought for the rights of X-children. He didn't always take money and it was said that he had never represented a guilty person, no matter how much money was offered or what was demanded. And he knew Raito? Had gone to college with him? How interesting. L had to go look this up.

"Excuse me." He stood up. Raito nodded, he was done for today with being a chef. He walked over to his own computer and logged in. a number of charts and graphs appeared. He had made a thirty-three percent profit off his most recent purchase.

"I knew those would become popular." He muttered as he worked upon several other items.

Raito liked playing the stocks. It was interesting to see the new products and to pick those who would become major. Although now it wasn't as interesting or thrilling as it used to be. He continued to do it because he needed the money he had a couple million squirreled away, but he needed more for what he planned to do.

Raito heard a knock at the door. He stood up, knowing Sayu's lecture wasn't over for the day, and that it was not a salesman, it had started raining shortly after Sayu had left and had been on and off throughout the day. He opened the door.

"Hello. I thought you were coming in at three?"

"In the morning, but of course, the plane service was unreliable again." Raito nodded understandingly. Planes often were difficult, so if he needed to use a plane, he planned everything a day in advance as a precaution.

"I have the information you needed."

"Good, but first you should probably take a shower and change." Teru was soaked through his suit. He nodded and walked off toward the shower. Raito put his computer aside and walked toward his room pulling out several folders. He hoped that they had finally been able to purchase it, but the chances were not good.

L had seen Raito walk by and heard the shower running. Considering how cheap the brunette was, L found it strange that he usually let the water run for so long. Well, I'll remove the laundry now then. Another task that Raito was positively hopeless at. He had a majority of his clothing items brought to the cleaners and washed everything else in cold or let Sayu take care of it. L had somehow ended up in charge of the laundry because he had refused to pay a cleaner and after Sayu had turned several of his shirts lime green he simply decided he would do it himself. Somehow he ended up doing everyone else's as well. Not that he really minded.

He walked inside the bathroom and realized that there was a person in the shower and it was not Raito. He turned around to walk out when the unknown man spoke.

"Hey Raito? Want to join me?" the male chuckled slightly and L left quickly. He found Raito shuffling through some papers.

"Raito-kun, who is the man taking a shower and why, is he speaking to you with poor sexual innuendos?"

Raito looked up. "That was Teru-san. Sorry about that."

"That doesn't answer the second question."

"He usually speaks that way." L was silent for a few moments.

"Usually?" Raito nodded, his attention was upon the papers once again.

"What are you looking at?" Raito briefly glanced up again.

"Property papers."

"For what? Do you need more property?"

"Of course not. I'll talk to you later." Raito said, dismissing L.

"Later." He repeated when L had not moved.

"Thank you Raito." Teru said as he entered the room. His gaze settled upon L.

"This is a surprise. What's your name?"

"Law." L didn't like the way the man was staring at him, icily.

"So what's the news?" Raito drew the conversation elsewhere. "Were we able to purchase it?"

"No, it's going to be torn down to build a power plant, but I found another. The caretaker however seems to be unwilling to sell it to us. He says that it already is owned, but I found no record of it."

"Let me see the papers." Teru opened his briefcase and handed Raito a stack of papers, before pulling out some of his own.

"This is the perfect one, but the owner seems to still want to hold onto it. We tried to buy it a few years ago, remember?"

"Ah yes. I thought I'd seen it before." L had sit down on the couch looking at the coffee table's heap of papers and Raito handed the file he'd been looking at behind him. The glare he was receiving from the other was becoming more disturbing.

"Is he helping you with this?"

"I would be surprised if he couldn't." L was looking over the papers.

"Why do you want such an expensive area?" Raito shook his head, he'd tell L later.

"Do you know of any other land in the area?"

"What about here?" he pulled up another piece of paper.

"We were hoping for it to remain within this country." Raito stated as he held up the first piece of paper.

"Well, it depends on what you wish to use it for, Raito-kun. The owner does not want the building to be removed."

That's understandable. We had no intention of doing so, just to add to it." L nodded.

Teru's phone rang. "We found him!" a girl squealed when he opened it. "WE FOUND THE LOOK-ALIKE!!" he pulled the phone away from his ear.

"That's great news, I'll return by Monday."

"Where are you?"

"Tokyo." The girl suddenly became silent.

"I see. But you still have to contact the company again."

"I know. I'll contact them now, you have them waiting for me correct?"

"Yes, sir. I apologize."

"No, it is alright. The weekend has just begun after all."

"Yes sir. I shall hold everything else off until Monday."

Teru stood up. "If you'll excuse me." He said calmly. "Work has followed me."

"It's no problem. How many times have I had to leave when you've come to visit?"

Teru nodded and picked up his now empty briefcase, leaving the papers behind. "I'll probably stop by tomorrow."

When he was gone, L turned to face Raito.

"So, why do you want this land?"

"It might be better if I show you." L blinked.

"Change your clothes; we're going to be riding the train."

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

**Detached**: The train…the sketchy futuristic train…and where is Raito taking L? These questions will be answered (hopefully) next chapter.

**L:** Why do you say that? You know what will happen.

**Raito:** You're the damn author! Of course you know what will happen.

**Detached**: No I do not; my characters have minds of their own.

**L**: Fine then, you've already written more than half of the next chapter, although it must be improved.

**Detached**: Now you're critiquing my work? Now!?

**Raito**: Oh, now you've done it. You made her angry.

**Detached**: I will lock you up underneath my bed in the Harry Potter tote if you keep it up. Or maybe in the closet with the Beanie Babies…

**L:** I will not--(Raito covers L's mouth with hand)

**Raito**: Shut up! I do not want to do commentary by myself!

**Detached:** See you all next time!


	4. Chapter 4

**Detached!** Hello everyone! Today I spent about a weeks worth of my pay (like $70ish) on the first two disks of Death Note along with the figurines. I'm going to spend quite a bit more money by the time I'm through. I now have Ryuk and Raito staring down at me from the top of my computer, which is inexplicably named Loretta. (Don't ask.)

**L:** You have a Raito doll…

**Raito:** She said FIGURINE! Not a DOLL!

**L:** Same difference. Give it to Near; he needs a better Kira doll.

**Detached:** I will not! I may not own you, but I can at least own my dolls!

**L**: See, she called them dolls. You're a doll, Raito-kun.

**Raito**: You will be one soon too, you know!

**L:** I suppose I will be…as long as there are no more of Near's L masks.

**Raito**: What? You're crazy you know that!

**L:** Yes, but so are you. That's why we screw one another.

**Raito:** ………………

**Detached:** Well it's time for a story! Raito seems to have collapsed! But don't worry!

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

L walked into his room. They were going to take the train? Not that L really minded, people often left him alone, especially if they thought he was talking to himself. He rather enjoyed talking to spirits that lingered on trains. However, Raito didn't look like he belonged on the train. After the platform had been invented, it had become a form of mass transportation, making train the cheaper more dangerous way to travel. Especially in a city as large as this one. No one rode the train if they could avoid it. Because Raito was a doctor, he had unlimited access to use the platform, but L had rarely seen him take advantage of it, Raito actually preferred to walk. There had been several times he'd come home much later than when his shift ended. But L hardly used the train, due to his equipment. It was too sensitive and reacted readily with the electric frequencies of the trains. He quickly pulled on some older clothing and placed a pair of old, worn sneakers on his feet, frowning as he did so.

Raito was also adjusting his appearance. He pulled out plain black clothing, a pair of jeans and a sleeved shirt. The only decent things he put on were a leather jacket and a very old watch. He didn't trust any clocks at where they were going. He also slipped a temporary cell phone into his pocket; it was programmed to call him if he received an emergency hospital call. He ran his fingers through his hair, pulling it upward; it now resembled what the detective's hair looked like a majority of the time.

L had finished before Raito and was waiting for him. _What does Raito-kun want to show me? _he wondered silently. He heard the door close as Raito stepped out, holding a rather ratty hat.

L was surprised once again. Raito's transformation was complete. He looked dangerous, from the purposely messed up hair, to leather jacket, all the way down till the black pants and dark shoes. No one would bother him on the train unless they were stupid or had a death wish. His changed his personality to complete such a look; L had a feeling that if looks could kill, Raito would have had such ability.

Raito looked at L and nodded before he walked over to a closet. For several moments L could not see the man and merely heard a rustling. Raito finally returned and in his arms was…an extremely large jacket with an enormous amount of pockets. He handed it over to L.

"Here." L took both the hat and coat and put them on. He now looked vaguely like a shady jacket dealer.

"Straiten up, we don't want people approaching you thinking you're a drug dealer. L did, feeling the pressure upon his back and feet from doing so. He wouldn't be able to stand like this for too long. Raito was staring at L with surprise.

"What is the matter Raito-kun? Ah." L realized. He was taller than Raito by a good inch, maybe two. He had never stood up straight before in Raito's presence, so the brunette had not expected such a difference, therefore the look.

Raito nodded. "Let's go."

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

On the train, L's prediction was confirmed. People avoided Raito like the plague, and in turn L also simply because he was near the brunette, although they were both receiving feared glances and looks. L also noted that a majority of females seemed to want to watch Raito; they most likely thought he was dangerous and were attracted to such a thing. Much like Sayu's television shows. Raito ignored them all and merely proceed to talk with L. any questions L asked about where they were going were deflected.

After about an hour, a majority of people had left and L had been allowed to sit down. He almost sighed audibly when the pressure was removed. He was soon hunched over and he watched a group of teenage boys get onto the train. The oldest couldn't have been more than nineteen but they immediately looked over at Raito and began to whisper amongst themselves. Then they suddenly came closer and attacked Raito.

With questions.

"Hey what are you doing here? I didn't think you could come for a while."

"Did you finally get the land?"

"How is Sayu? We haven't seen her in…how long has it been? Nine months?"

"Yeah, tell her to come more often." The boys were speaking in a variety of dialects and using several different words yet Raito was keeping up with all of them effortlessly, giving simple responses. "I found the time", "No." and "I'll tell her."

Finally one boy who had been playing a game in a corner looked up and started speaking fluent English as he looked at L. "Amber, who is this? He's too old to be one of us, yet he is most definitely not a common rider around here. Is he of any use to us?"

L turned over to Raito, switching to English as well. "Amber? Is that what he calls you?" the boy seemed surprised that L could speak so fluently.

"Well, I told you that you will see when we get there, but yes, he calls me Amber."

"Because of his eyes, besides calling him "Light" was just plain creepy. And Raito doesn't work either."

The other boys had been trying to listen intently and jumped at the "Raito" and turned over to L.

"So who is he?"

"What's up with the way he's sitting?"

"He acts like him."

"You're so right!" the others agreed.

"What are you guys doing anyway?"

"We went grocery shopping." They held up several bags to prove their point.

"No cigarettes I hope." The boy had gone back to playing his video game and had ignored the question. Raito sighed.

"Fine. So how is everyone doing?" as he was being told, L watched the boy as he listened, he seemed to be watching them off of his the game screen, yet he was also continuing to play it. He heard several curse words, in both English and Japanese as he played but his concentration had not faltered.

Finally they were there, wherever there was supposed to be. They got off the train and walked toward and older building that didn't particularly stand out.

"Here we are." The boys walked in shouting "He's here! He's here!"

Raito and L walked in and Raito was quickly mobbed by a group of children, a majority of them being around seven or so.

"You're back! You're back! Let's play okay!"

"In a little while, I promise. I need to talk to talk to Miki-chan first alright?" a chorus of boos began. He ruffled a few heads and smiled. L was amazed once again about how open Raito was with children.

"Just be patient alright? I won't take too long." They sighed, defeated.

"Why don't you guys all go get a game ready okay?" his smiled turned mischievous as the children all took off into a variety of rooms, as if their pants were on fire as many shouted "I'm gonna choose this time!."

"Stirring up trouble again, eh?" An older voice said. L turned and the first thing he saw was a head full of white hair but the woman herself seemed to be in her late twenties. She was an albino.

"Not much." Raito smiled slightly. "Has everyone been well?"

"They are a handful but the boys help out more than they let on." Raito nodded. "So who's this? Is he here to help?"

"Not necessarily." The woman smiled.

"That's good then. Teru doesn't play very well. He's all business. And Sayu plays far too much. The kitchen always looks like a bomb exploded when she's finished."

"If you want to believe it, he's far worse in the kitchen."

She pretended to look scandalized. "I didn't think it possible." She held out her hand toward L. "I must shake the hand of the worst chef on the planet. Sayu will be jealous."

"Ah, but Raito-kun cannot do laundry to save his life." L said as he took her hand within his own and shook it.

"Yes, that is true." She was now giving Raito a look.

"Well Miki-chan, this is my friend, L." she nodded with a serious look in her face. Then she smiled again.

"Thank you for all the gifts you've sent. It was very thoughtful."

"Children deserve birthday presents." A small hand reached up to grab hold of Raito's jacket. A little girl, no more than three or four looked up at Raito with tear rimmed eyes.

"Takuya hid miss teddy bwear." He scooped up the little girl.

"Did he now? Then we just have to find it, won't we? Excuse me." He walked off with the little girl and left L behind.

"Would you like a cup of tea?"

"That would be appreciated."

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

"Since Raito brought you here, he must trust you." she said as she poured him tea.

"He hasn't told me much about this." L stated looking as he sipped his tea. It was bitter, but he saw no sugar. He didn't think his tea had any, but L was not going to complain, not to her at least.

Suddenly the girl turned around. "Oh here. She passed him a container. "I'm sorry I assumed that you enjoyed your tea like Raito-chan does, but you don't like it bitter right?"

L raised an eyebrow. "Sorry, I sensed you." She held up her hands apologetically. L's eyes widened.

"So is everyone here a…"

"X-child? That would be correct. After seeing several of us in the hospital more than once, he bought this building and started to invite us to come here. It's basically an orphanage. It's also a school."

"So you know if someone is an x-child?" she nodded slowly. "Then Raito-kun wishes to purchase the land in England because that country is the one of those that is more tolerant towards X-children." she nodded again.

"He is quite kind. He'll take operations full well knowing that he'll never see some of them fully paid off, others not even half or a quarter. And he's so good with children, even the older ones."

"How long have you known Raito-kun?"

"Since he was fourteen. He used to volunteer at the hospital for his classes. At first he assumed I was just an albino, not an x-child, but one day…I…" she began to mutter.

"I told him, and he told me he didn't care, that I was a human no matter what I could do or looked like. He told me "A human who treats another human inhumanely is no longer a human but a monster." L's eyes widened. He knew that line. He had written the same line, almost word for word in an anonymous essay many years ago.

He found an article a few years ago that said the same thing, although it elaborated more on the general topic of x-children. It also produced a controversial idea."

"That x-children have existed for centuries under different names and titles?"

"I should have known that you've read it."

A door slammed and L spun his head around. His back hurt, it had been straight for too long. A little child was in the room now, trying to speak Japanese but English was cutting in.

"J-Jamie…hic…h-hit meee!!!!!!!"

Miki got down on her knees and began to talk to him.

"Why did he do that?"

"b-because…he's a meanie!"

"Well, let's go see him then after you stop crying, 'k?" she smiled and L saw that he was missing a front tooth, but her mouth had organized itself so that you couldn't tell unless you looked for it. The boy nodded.

"I'll be right back." She walked out and L followed, wishing to see more of this place. In a way it reminded him of where he spent his childhood.

Outside the room it suddenly seemed very loud. Boisterous, L had almost forgotten how loud children could be. He walked over toward the boy who was playing a video game.

"Die you bastard! Oh, hey," he looked up "What's your name?"

"L."

"Alright…Hey I got the emerald sword! Take that gargoyle peon scum! Call me Matt."

"So how long have you been here?"

"Fuck! That is one ugly boss! Where's his head? A couple years. Other orphanages couldn't handle me. There's your ugly head!"

L looked down at the boy.

"Ha! I kicked your pixeled ass! I wanted games so I took 'em, not from the stores, but the prototypes you know…Fuck! You hit me! I'm good with computers, but they didn't like me editing their games… said I stole 'em. Fuck! He's transforming!" the game beeped and he stood up quickly and took off down the hall at a run. L followed.

He opened a door, forgetting to close it and quickly plugged in his game.

"Good. Now I can kick you ass for real! Oh Nat, this is L." L looked on the other side of the room where another teen was playing. With a puzzle. He had white hair and he didn't look up.

"Please keep your voice down Matt."

"Shut up! I'm finally at the last chain of bosses. Take that, Demon!"

L turned to the other. "So your name is?"

"Nat is more than enough for you." So the boy was secretive then? L wasn't offended, in a world like theirs; they had every reason to be.

"Then I am Law." The boy had still not looked up but he blinked as he looked down at his puzzle. L continued with his questions.

"How long have you been here?"

"Years." L was fairly sure now of what the boy was doing to him, by the simple answers and his refusal to look him in the eye.

"Are you an empath, by any chance?" He dropped the puzzle piece he was holding.

"You didn't look into my mind."

"It was an educated guess. I know someone who is your opposite in every way, but you both still behave the same, although you have different ways of showing it as well. He takes the more emotional approach."

"Feelings cloud you way of thinking."

"Intuition can clear up a jumbled mind." He looked up and L saw surprise in the pale eyes. Wait, pale? L looked at them again. They were definitely pale eyes. They were not red but a pale blue that was no doubt sensitive to light as well.

"Near?" he whispered. The boy blinked and for a second L swore he saw recognition in the pale eyes. But it was gone as quickly as it had come and the boy continued as if nothing had happened. He turned around.

"Matt do you have a piece of paper?"

"Sure. Here. Take that amphibian of the deep!" L now had a blank, albeit crumpled, sheet of paper. He reached for a pencil and quickly sketched out the person he was referring to. If he was correct then, the young man would remember. L hoped so anyways.

"Nat can you take a look at this?" The boy looked up and L handed him the picture.

"Matt come here." He put his game down and walked over looking over L's shoulder.

"Holy crap. I know her."

"Him." L and Nat said simultaneously.

"So it's a fucking guy. He thinks he's really important doesn't he? Seems like the kind of person to give orders."

"So you know who this is?"

"Hell no, we've never met him, but it just kinda seems like we do is all… Are you sure that's a guy?"

"Positive."

"I've met him." L said quietly. Near, L couldn't see him as anyone else, looked up at him quickly.

"You have?"

"He's the one I mentioned. I can have you meet him, if you want."

He blinked and suddenly it was Near, the real Near.

"Why are you trying to help me L? You should be worrying about yourself. I'll find Mello eventually and this time; I won't delude myself into thinking I can be alone."

"What the fuck? What's wrong with Nat?"

"It's Near Matt, and don't forget it. Looks like growing up without Mello warped you anyway." He turned back to L. "Does Mello still eat all that chocolate?" L nodded. "Look I can't stay like this much longer but one last thing. "Call Raito out like you did me and don't let him slip through your fingers again. Stay close to him." He closed his eyes and Near was looking down at the paper again.

"You can tell me your answer later Near." L stood up and walked out of the room. Matt followed, game forgotten.

"What the fuck was that?"

"That was Near."

"What can you do?"

"Speak to spirits."

"So that was a fucking spirit?"

"It was his memories. From a previous life."

"Like reincarnation?"

"Yes, I suppose."

"Fuck."

"I agree."

Raito and Miki came walking down the hall then, Raito with an infant in his arms, no more than three months old.

"Hey L." L nodded.

"I know a place where they can go."

"Where?"

"Where I was raised. It's for them. Us. X-children."

Raito nodded.

"That land is rather close actually, I can arrange for it to be purchased if you wish it." He wanted to leave. Now.

Raito passed off the child to Miki who whispered something into his ear as L started to walk toward the door. He threw his jacket on quickly.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

When they got off the train, it was pouring. They were soaked in minutes and ran home. L's back killed. And the rain wasn't helping. He needed a bath to loosen his muscles. But there was only one bathroom.

"Raito-kun can go first."

"You look colder than me."

"I'll take longer."

"Forget it." L almost sighed with relief. "We'll take one together. The last thing I need is to take care of sick people at home and at work."

Raito made sense and L hated it. Even though the logic made sense L knew he wouldn't be able to hold himself up for much longer in order to argue back.

"Fine then." It wasn't as if the bath wasn't small either. L peeled off his clothes quickly as he headed towards the bathroom. He set the water to hot, Raito could adjust it later, and he stepped in and sat down, hugging his knees. Raito took a little longer, grabbing clothes and towels. He hadn't expected L to agree so quickly or at all for that matter.

He walked into the bathroom and placed the things down. L looked like he was in pain. Suddenly it made sense. L's back. He stepped into the water, L barely noticing him when he pulled his foot back. The water was scalding. He adjusted the temperature and quickly stepped in.

As strange as this situation was L couldn't help but to sigh as he felt some of the tension release. He started to wash himself.

"Let me do it L."

Why?"

"I can hit your pressure points better than you can. It's your back isn't it?" L shook his head. "I'm fine."

"Just turn around." L shook his head.

"Don't worry. I won't hurt you." L was tired. Tired of the fighting, it was making his back tighten again, undoing the water's work. He spun around and felt the warm hands against his back.

Raito applied pressure slowly distributing the pressure as evenly as he could. L hadn't said anything but his body was relaxing unconsciously. L sighed. At this moment he couldn't concentrate outside of anything except the feeling of relief. Raito stared at the covered back as he worked upon the back. It still infuriated him that someone would do this to a young child, most likely someone L had trusted. Someone who had thought that they could "fix' L. like it was something that could be fixed. Raito knew better. Yet Raito couldn't help but smile slightly as he felt L relax underneath his hands.

"Feel better?"

"Raito-kun can do many things."

"I studied many things. So what happened earlier? Miki said you were in turmoil and I know it wasn't just your back."

"I met someone I used to know."

"A spirit?"

"No, he had been reborn as another, but he was the same. Kind of." _Where are the words for such a thing?_ L wondered. He knew his excuse was poor, but not even complex vocabulary could help him out at the moment.

"You're not explaining yourself very well."

"It's difficult, like he didn't want to forget his previous memories. But you're supposed to forget. He's almost identical to how he used to be. That isn't supposed to happen."

"But it did?"

"Yes, and I am at loss as to why." That wasn't all though, he had been talking to L as if he had been the same, which made L wonder about his own memories. Raito had seemed to do the same when he had awakened for a moment a while ago and recognized L. But was it the same? L wasn't entirely sure. Not yet.

"What about your back? Does this happen often?"

"When I put too much pressure upon it such things can happen."

"I see. Why didn't you say anything?"

"I thought I could handle it." L was not one to often admit his mistakes; this calmer side of him was rare.

"So you grew up in a home for x-children?" L gave a slight nod.

"It's actually quite close to the land you wish to purchase."

"Oh, so you know the seller?"

"Yes, although I am the one that currently owns the land." Raito's hands stopped moving for a moment.

"I shouldn't be surprised." L gave a slight smile.

"So how did you end up there?" he felt L's body tense slightly underneath his fingers.

"That is a story for another day." L reached over, grabbed a towel and vaulted himself out of the bath before Raito could blink.

"Thank you very much Raito-kun, but I am fine now." _Physically anyway_, his mind added.

"Uh…okay." _Damn he can move fast_. L walked out of the bathroom leaving a still stunned Raito trying to figure out just how L had exactly pulled that move off.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

Raito was asleep; L was looking over his essay from long ago.

X-children are defined as people whose genes have arranged themselves into unique patterns therefore opening different cognitive abilities of the brain, such as the ability to see the past, future, or telekinesis. Scientists say that this is a rather recent development, and although more believable, it is entirely untrue. X-children have existed for centuries under different names and medical conditions. Even before that they have existed, but recently they have been producing at a larger rate due to many medical developments in order to change appearances or "fix" the brain. Genetic structure cannot be changed however, so offspring continue to be produced. Male x-children often outnumber female due to the fact that the gene exists on the x-chromosome, so they are more easily affected to such a gene rearrangement than the two x-chromosomes needed for a female x-child, although females have a higher survival birthrate, so they have been increasing in numbers.

They have been called many things, from physics to fortune tellers to gypsies. I add a few more classifications to this list, some have been heard of, others not. Witches from centuries past with extreme wealth of knowledge. Witches were often female with "abnormal" powers and tendencies and were often burned for such knowledge. Also I believe gods and goddesses, especially those classified as "demigods" those who supposedly have one human and one god for parents could have been today's x-children. I am not denying the existence of gods they could have started such a shift, although that will probably never be proven. Also I include prodigies and geniuses to such a list. Autism, which can now be "fixed" or so it is said are more or less the parents of the x-children. Most geniuses choose to live solitary lives or spend their lives with another gifted person because we humans crave understanding more than anything and fear loneliness more than anything. Such offspring were however, rarely unique due to the many recombinants as a result of the mixing of genes. When those with brain abnormalities were "fixed" and mated with those who society defined as normal, the rise of x-children began.

Now come the differences. X-children are different compared to normal children. That is a definite and proven fact. A child who can play any song from memory when compared to years of work and memorization are definitely different. But how different are they really? Can they reason, can they be born and die as humans can? Can they feel pain and bleed as humans do? Can they feel alone and wish to be understood? The answer to all these questions is yes. Yes they can reason, bleed, live die, and feel as humans do. Yes they can cry and wish to be normal. They can play sports, talk mindlessly about boys and enjoy music and literature just as humans do.

Yet, discrimination against such children rises. They are treated as foreign and are unwanted, left in the streets, filling up orphanages where they will never be adopted. People who used to ask for a child of one race or another now ask if the child is an x-child. Doctors will refuse to operate on them, causing death. Abortions are frequent if the mother finds out what she will give birth to. They are treated as if they were not human, but they clearly are. They can mate and produce offspring and reason and think and feel, yet the deaths and crimes increase. Why? ""Because they are not human."" People say. People used to say those of different skin color or sexual preferences were not human. What next? When x-children are finally considered human and outnumber humans will they turn upon them? I believe so. Remove those that are different, not like us. There are no people that are not humans, everyone is human. Therefore I say a human who treats another human inhumanely is no longer a human but a monster. People can either be human or monstrous. There is no middle road.

L looked down at his rather bad handwriting. That had been his first copy, and although sentences had been changed, it was basically the same. He had written it almost fifteen years ago, one of the first of a series of essays. The most biased as well, something he normally avoided when he wrote, but reading it again so many years later, he couldn't help but remain biased over it. His scars were proof that they were treated differently. Even before others had found out about his "other power" they had been afraid of his intelligence. They might have said it was just his ability, but L could remember scars from before that. He could even remember farther back than that, to a time when he had been considered normal. Even after it had happened L still had a hard time believing that the way others viewed you could change so quickly, so drastically. But it had happened, that was an undeniable fact. And not to just him, Raito had had the same experience although on a lesser scale, and most others as well.

L pulled out his computer in order to send a contact e-mail to the older man that ran the orphanage about the property and the news of the forty something children Raito had found. They had never been planning on selling the land, merely expanding the school, but they needed more children to do that, which they now had. L wished the building to be brought up to standard as quickly as possible.

L sent the message and began to think once again about the "awakening" of Near and of how Raito's "awakening" was similar and dissimilar to Near's when he suddenly jumped as he heard a cry.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

**Detached**: Ha! Sort of a cliffhanger I know, but I won't have another chance to post for a while, so I'll leave you with this. I think if I get on the computer tomorrow, I may end up with a hole in my wall and Loretta in a garbage can.

**Raito: **I still can't believe you named your computer.

**L**: why not, Raito-kun? A computer is an extension of yourself.

**Raito**: You…named your computer, didn't you?

**L**: Perhaps, Raito-kun, perhaps.

**Detached:** O-kay then! I have comments! And I can see why people love them so much now! They're addicting! Almost as much as L and Raito. Almost. Send me more. Also if things aren't adding up, ask. Most things to have a place where they will be answered, but I don't want to make a big mistake, but since I'm not necessarily following a timeline, I should be okay…

**Raito**: I can't take it! What did you name your computer!

**L:** -smiles- Would you like a hint Raito-kun? Very well, it starts with the letter "L"

**Raito**: Fuck you!

**L:** I will fuck you, if that's what you wish me to do Raito-kun.

**Detached**: NO! Too soon! Too soon! Stop that!

**L:** But if it's what Raito-kun wants me to do…

**Detached:** You made him pass out again!


	5. Chapter 5

**Detached:** Okay people! Another chapter! I'm actually working really hard to start the bulk of the next chapter because I have to go to my father's house tomorrow and my father's computer…I don't trust it. At all. It's the devil computer.

**Raito:** You're afraid of a computer now?

**Detached**: No, you don't understand. Electronics don't want to work for me. Properly. My computer signs me out of whatever it wants, whenever it wants and its not a virus, had it checked and everything. My ipod plays random songs when it wants to, my phone sometimes will ring on silent when it isn't and watches? Don't even get me started on watches.

**Raito:** What about watches?

**L:** This time you've done it. Not the watch story. I'd almost prefer to be locked in the closet.

**Detached**: Right. In the past six or so years I've had about a half dozen watches. Two disappeared unexpectedly, one died like every week, even after the battery changed, one set its own alarms, and one was one of those heavy duty water resistant, light up/timer/stopwatch would change time on. Not into military time, I ad another one that did that, I could deal with that. I mean the numbers would be cut off; the times would change drastically, etc…so I stopped using it and gave it to my sister because the stopwatch setting still worked. And guess what? She's never ever had a problem with it. Ever. I borrowed it for a week to see if it was fixed, but it didn't work for me again. Works perfectly for her. I've given up on watches. Cell phone alarms. So now that I've thoroughly bored you, it's time to read a story.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

_Raito was walking down a hall, it would be over tomorrow. He would win or die and he knew that he'd win. But still, it was cold and empty. No, he was cold and empty. He wanted someone, anyone tonight. He'd tried and failed to find replacements for the person who was irrevocably dead, but none of them had really come close. That's all they had been. Replacements. There was only one person he needed to visit._

_The scene changed, another man was in front of him now, and again he had to die, in order for him to win. It was done, it was over, the names had been written…wait! He wasn't dead! He smiled in frustration and happiness, he had thought him to have won, but as he listened to the explanation he had understood what he had been told long ago._

"_Together the both of them are better than either of us alone." Raito had been disappointed when each had appeared to be working separately from the other, but in the end, they had won. He knew that he could now very well lose._

_He wasn't going to give up though, that was the easy way out. He would try one last thing, his ace. He started to write, and then his hand, his hand had been shot. He screamed in agony as he looked down at the blood trailing from his hand, but only for a moment before continuing to write unmercifully, giving it his all, no longer with ink but his own blood. Then his hand was shot again, the bullet ripping through skin, muscle and bone, and the object was ripped from his hand. _

_The other walked over to him speaking plainly. He had lost. He had truly lost. Raito ran, like the defeated man he was. He ran away. The boy had won, but not really. He now had a life to look forward to, an empty meaningless life. Raito may have lost, but none would know it had been what he had really wanted. Raito cried out again from the pain, craving the__ eternal nothingness that he had once had. The emptiness that would envelop him. Soon, soon I'll be released from this, he thought to himself. He clutched his chest suddenly, feeling the pain he had caused so many others. In his haze, he saw something, no some one, and in his pain and desperation he reached toward them as he tumbled into nothingness. _

_I'm so sorry._

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

Raito woke up as he cried out. He sat up covered in sweat, gripping his hand tightly. His entire body hurt, and he looked down at the comforter, urging himself to relax, to calm down. It was over, it was finally over. For now at least. He flexed his hand, it always hurt afterward. The dream may have triggered it, but the pain was real. He had a scar that trailed along the side of his hand that he had received from when he was younger. That injury had shown him that he was ambidextrous. Yet another reason he did so well with his job.

When Raito felt a hand upon him, his sprang up, looking around frantically. L was staring at him, eyes wide, the only sign that showed how surprised he truly was. Raito felt like hitting the detective, but moving was rather difficult to do at this moment; he was still trying to regain the proper use of his lungs.

"What…" he breathed angrily, "are you…doing? Here?"

L responded in a monotone. "I could ask Raito-kun the same thing."

"Shut…up. Just shut up."

"Why is Raito-kun being so defensive?"

Raito was now merely glaring at L. Not that the glare was any less sharp than his tongue could be.

"What were you dreaming of Raito-kun?" the glare continued.

"I shall just sit here and wait then." Raito could see L was clearly telling the truth, but right now he didn't care. He turned over and pulled the bed cover over his head. L unfazed opened his laptop, which he had run into the room with. The clacking began then. Raito's head pounded with every click those spidery fingers produced. He sat silently for several moments gripping his head tightly, willing his pain to go away. It didn't. L had the advantage. It didn't take a genius to see that.

"Stop that." He finally said.

"Stop what, Raito-kun?"

"The noise."

"Only if you tell me what just happened." Raito was silent for a while, but L saw his grip on the bedsheets relax slightly.

"I don't remember."

"Anything at all?" Raito didn't continue.

"What do you remember?"

"…" L replied with his own silence, waiting for a response. The silence appeared to grow between the two of them, both wanting the other to talk first. Much like a children's game.

Finally Raito spoke, L had reached for his computer again, that was not a noise he currently wished to hear.

"I don't remember much, I never remember much. Specific details anyway."

"So what then?" 

"Pain, regret, hopelessness, pain though mostly. And I apologize."

"For what?" Raito shook his head, he had no idea, but he knew it was important and told L as much.

"And your other dreams?"

"There's the one with eyes. I can't remember anything but a pair of eyes closing. Dying. Then the one where I'm alone. Then the one that results in baking then todays, and then the one where I'm standing, floating, waiting for something, someone, and I crash. Then they restart."

"How long has this been going on?"

"Since I was seventeen."

"And you can sense the future?"

"On occasion."

"Tell me about your family life."

"What are you now, a therapist?" Raito was becoming angry.

"No, I merely wish to figure out the cause of these dreams."

"It's a punishment. I did something and can't forget it. I can't ever remember it either, because then I'd be able to fix whatever it was. Like this I'm stuck and I'll remain that way."

"I cannot believe that. Tell me." Raito shook his head.

"Fine then, when did you realize you were and x-child?"

"I'll tell you, but only if you tell me." L stared at the brunette for several moments before he nodded solemnly.

"I was fourteen. That was when I knew without a doubt. My body had started to change. I hurt all over from growing and had constant headaches. Miki-chan told you I volunteered at the hospital right? She told me I was, but I didn't believe her. Until…one day I had raced to catch a bus, and once I was there, I decided not to get on. The people around me looked at me like I was crazy. There was one old lady though, she asked me to help her with her groceries when she saw I really didn't wish to get on. That bus was hijacked. Three grave injuries, one fatality, and several minor injuries. I ignored that incident. Chalked it up to luck. Then I was walking home, with several students and saw an injured cat. I convinced four of us to go check it out. A drunk driver came and hit the other two. They survived, but if all of us had been there…" he trailed off. "

"After that I stopped hanging out with groups of people, even for appearances. Then came the day when I told my mom I had a feeling about dad and a madman came into work. He had his gun with him that day, loaded. He had cleaned it the day before and it would not have been loaded without my mother's warning. He would have died otherwise."

He stopped again for several moments. "And when I was in college, I saw a girl get shot, I was able to stop her bleeding. I performed basic medical routine. I saved her life by my own hand, that's why I became a doctor. When I saved her, something happened." L looked at him, waiting for him to elaborate. "It's like…something was lifted. I felt lighter, better. I wanted to do it again, feel it again. So I transferred my major."

"So what about your father?" Raito shook his head, he was finished speaking. So it was L's turn then. He looked away as he started to speak.

"I'm fairly certain; I've always had my power, although it did become stronger during adolescence, just as yours did. When I was young I had a number of imaginary friends. It worried my mother. Then one day, I told her about her grandmother, a woman I had never met. After that…" L trailed off for a moment before he spoke again.

"Over the next years, I learned that every one of these people had once really been people. I looked up their lives, saw what they did and didn't do, who they had been married to, who their children were. Then I started to come across murder cases, a majority of them cold ones, during the Fire Rebellions and Water Riots. I trained myself to become a detective. Later I included current cases, and eventually L was created."

L knew that Raito had ignored many details, as if L wouldn't notice. Then again, L had also left out much, probably even more so than the boy. It didn't matter, because either way, they had said things that neither of them had ever shared with another person. As if they were real friends. Raito had turned around to face the wall. He pulled the cover over his head once again.

L remained. Even when the brunette's breathing had evened out and he was no longer shifting restlessly in his sleep, L remained. He wasn't quite sure why he did, but he couldn't bring himself to leave either. He thought to himself. He would have to talk to Near again. He didn't know if dreams were a part of the remembrance process. He'd never had any, but he'd never had any exposure to the original L either. Raito may not have had original exposure, but he had the ghost of his great-grandmother. When it came to the paranormal, L always felt as if he was in a dark room. L might have had a flashlight, but he still couldn't see more than a couple feet in front of him. It was better than being in complete darkness, but frustrating all the same. He left when Raito began to stir, walking into the kitchen.

Raito woke a few minutes later. He recalled what had been said and, for some reason, it didn't bother him. If anything, he felt better. Better than he had in a long while. He sat up and looked over at where L had been sitting. It was still warm. L had decided to stay, to watch him? The thought of that didn't bother him half as much as he thought it would. He stood up and went into the kitchen.

L was trying to cook. Why, Raito couldn't fathom, but he was trying.

"What are you doing?" L distracted dropped a pan of water and reached to grab it, burning his hand. Raito jumped toward him grabbing the hand and running it under warm water.

"What were you thinking? How many times do you need to injure yourself in this room before you stop trying to cook! I may be a doctor but I don't always want to be working!" L looked behind him as Raito studied the hand.

"I apologize, Raito-kun. I did not intend to injure myself."

"Of course you didn't." his eyes met L's. "You just can't cook…" he leaned in closer to L and L leaned back into the brunette.

"I suppose I can't…"Their lips met. L was not unfamiliar wit the mechanics of such an action, but the feeling he received was unfamiliar. He pushed closer to the other male, deepening the kiss. Raito's hands snaked around his stomach as Raito's tongue licked L's lip sensually, asking for entrance. L allowed it and reached his hands upward to pull the neck closer.

Both of them were lost within the warmth of one another, the feeling of the simple necessity to be near another person. When they separated for air however, they spilt apart, almost as quickly as they had been drawn together.

"I apologize Raito-kun. I did not mean-" he was cut off when the lips met his own again. But it was different this time. This mouth was demanding, forcing its tongue into L's mouth. This mouth wanted to dominate, to posses. This wasn't Raito, not his Raito; he shoved the body away, and was not unsurprised to see the other Raito.

"Are you teasing me then?" he asked in a growl.

"That was not supposed to happen."

"That's where you're wrong. Both of them are too nice to you. That's why I came this time; both of them are mush with ecstasy. I just want to own your body once again, to dominate it once again. I want to rediscover your body. His arms pulled L against him. "I want to see if your pleasure points are the same." He licked the shell of L's ear, making the detective shiver. "I want to be inside you again." L jumped, Raito's hand was inside his pants. "I want to hear you scream in ecstasy again." The hand closed around him and began to stoke him. "Will you let me, L?"

"…nnn…NO!" he pushed this "Raito" away. "Raito", unfazed, stepped back. "Well, your body doesn't seem to agree with you and mine…well you know what I want." This "Raito" looked like a predator, ready for the kill, he knew what he wanted and he wanted it now.

"I'll answer your questions." L blinked. He had not expected the man to say that

"Why?"

"Because you're L. My L. I would do anything for my L."

"What?"

"You still don't remember anything? I can't see why not…ah" he smiled. "You're afraid to remember. Well no matter. You're still my L either way."

L took another step back. Raito grabbed a chair and sat down. "I'm only here for a limited time, just to let you know. The other two will put me away soon enough."

"Who are these two?"

"Well there's Raito, the one you know and then there's…let's call him Light. You met him once. And then there's me. We'll keep my name a secret for now L; you can call me Amber I suppose. Light's not too fond of it, but whatever. We've never caused the boy real trouble, besides the dreams. Not that we can control those either. Well, my dreams haven't affected the boy, they will soon. Mostly it's Light's memories."

"So are you a reincarnation?"

"Yes. Extremely close to the original if I do say so myself. It was difficult to keep everything intact and then the x-child powers had to kick in. that tampered with the development. The end product is extremely similar to the original. You aren't much different yourself, although you do smile more."

"So what about me?"

"Ah, I'm afraid I'll have to keep my mouth shut about you. Light doesn't like me to talk about it much. He still regrets it, as you already know."

"What about you?" the face softened for a moment before he shook his head. L wasn't sure if that was a no or if he couldn't answer the question.

"So what about the others? Near? Mello?"

"They followed our example as did many others. A majority of people have been reborn as the same. Fayte wanted to play dollhouse. I deserved it I suppose…it doesn't matter either. I have my L back."

"I am not "your" L. "

"You're wrong. We knew you before we were even reborn, when we were just a spirit. And you knew us too. We know where you received the earliest scars. Why your back is the way it is. We would hold you when your mother wouldn't. We may not have been able to physically touch you but that doesn't mean we didn't want to. We would have given up being reborn to be a shield for you, but you had already made a deal. We were forced to leave you. Light and I were still one entity then." L nodded.

"But I remember all of them. Why don't I remember you? I should, especially if what you're saying is true."

"That's a question I can't answer, but I can speculate. We told you we were leaving, but we were born early. We abandoned you. You couldn't take it, so you erased us" L closed his eyes for a moment. Reliving his childhood was one of the last things he wanted to do.

"Raito doesn't know anything." He assured. "It's just Light and me. When we were born, things happened. Things changed. We spilt, as a way of preserving him, I think. He couldn't take the influx of memories like the others. So we spilt, each with our own portion. We remained dormant until the boy turned seventeen then Light's memories began to affect him. He's quite sensitive to Light, he's more like him than me anyway."

"How does Light remember if you do too?"

"When I say we spilt, I mean it. He had to take my memories and piece them together with his just as I had to take his and fit them with mine. There were moments when I was more like Light than myself and moments when Light was more like me. My memories that Light has are the ones Raito remembers. Enough talking." He pulled L down into the chair with him.

"I thought I could wait, but I've always been rather impatient." he breathed before kissing the detective harshly. There was fierceness, neediness in it. He needed L just as much as he wanted him. L moaned lightly, he'd never been wanted before, never been needed before. He dropped down to the side of L's neck, and bit the pale skin harshly before soothing it with his tongue.

L let out a cry as Amber bit him, but the pain mixed with his pleasure and traveled all the way down to his toes which curled with the sensation. The knowing tongue also alleviated some of the pain, and L let out a strangled moan.

"I want you so bad right now." the man whispered. "It's been far too long. I'm acting like addict L." he kissed him again. L was blushing; he'd never imagined anyone saying such desperate, corny, erotic things to him.

As if he read his mind Amber responded, "None of my lovers, in this life or my previous ever heard such things. Only you. I can be just as corny as you my L." he ground his hips upward and L gasped as his body reacted without his instruction, grinding his own hips downward, wanting more of the sensation.

He groaned. "You're better than you let on, L." then he sighed in frustration. "I guess my time is up. Perhaps another time L. I wasn't planning on taking you today anyway. We did just meet after all." He smiled and pulled L into another kiss.

About half way though, L felt the change. It was still demanding, but not like it had been. It was almost questioning, so L pulled away. He was confused, he needed to rethink what he had just learned and try to piece it together into something useful. He did not want or need to deal with these personalities.

"L?" the voice whispered quietly. So it was Light then.

"Yes?"

"Uh…he didn't do anything to you did he?"

"Amber? No, he just gave me a lot…to think about."

"He shouldn't have told you that much. It's too soon for Raito to learn anything. I don't want him to learn anything. Even if he has nightmares, it's a chance, a chance to be happy, to be alive. Don't tell him anything please. I don't know how it happened but his soul is untouched by our curse. His hands aren't stained." His head fell to the crook of L's neck, but it was far different from what Amber had been doing. It was as if Light was trying not to cry.

L unsure of what to do, tentatively wrapped his arms around the younger man, none of this was making sense just quite yet. There were too many holes, too many pieces missing at the moment. He needed to speak with Amber again, that was his best chance at finding out more.

"Why don't you want him to remember? He could help the both of you."

"He is helping us as it is. Remembering could…ruin the boy. Just like before."

"I…I don't understand Light-kun."

"No! Don't call me that! I'm not you're friend. Not anymore. I can't be…not anymore…not after…" his voice trailed off into a silence.

"After what?"

"No! Don't ask me these things! I don't want him to remember! I don't want to remember!" he pushed himself away from L, falling to the floor before scrambling into another chair.

"I thought you were supposed to be more like Raito, not some scared little kid."

"I was, don't you get it! I was! But not anymore. I can't be like him anymore. My hands…" he looked down at them, "I was! I wanted to remain your friend!"

"Why do I think that out of the three of you, that Amber is the only one being honest?"

"He'll do anything to achieve his goals."

"And you won't? Aren't you two essentially the same?"

"NO! We're not! We just can't be Ryuu! Not anymore!" he shouted, but not before realizing his mistake. L blinked, he knew that name, but he felt nothing except the feeling that he had heard such a name before. Light seemed relieved too when L didn't react.

Then Light did something that really pissed L off.

He ran away.

Not literally of course, but he escaped nonetheless, leaving a disgruntled, confused Raito behind, who stood up quickly when he noticed his clothing and the time. Then he noticed L's neck.

"What happened?"

"A spirit wanted to sleep with me and it wanted to borrow your body to do so."

"W-what?"

"I will not repeat myself. Nothing really happened, and because you've already forgotten, I will put this out of my mind as well."

"Wait, what?" L was tired, confused and angry, and he really didn't want to start telling Raito anything before he figured out more from the information he'd been given. He also wanted to clean up his neck. L stepped closer to the brunette and wrapped his arms around him and leaned his face into the neck.

"You should have heard some of the things you told me. These marks will be here for days, perhaps longer. Ask anymore questions and I may have to return the favor." He let go and stepped away. The move had the desired effect. Raito was no longer asking questions, but it also had an undesired effect. Raito was blushing, which made L want to do it again, repeat some of the things that very same voice had told him minutes before. But he needed to think…

They were interrupted again.

By a doorbell.

Raito sprang up, "T-that must b-be Teru." As L saw Raito walk to the door, he saw the awkwardness and embarrassment slide off his shoulders as if it had never been there in the first place. Raito was quite good with his masks. L, on the other hand, needed to cover his neck up. He wouldn't be surprised if a couple of them were bleeding. Gentle was not a word he'd use to describe that facet of Raito's personality. He settled for placing his hand on his neck, which felt wet. He was right about the blood then. Not that he'd really minded at the time, although he hated to admit it.

"So you are leaving early tomorrow morning? Do you have time after work?"

"I always have time-" he saw L. "What's he doing here?"

"Well, let's think." L was not in the mood to deal with a jealous adult brat. "Considering that I'm wearing exactly what I was wearing yesterday and that I have cake dishes in the sink, which are assuredly mine because Raito-kun does not eat cake and Sayu-chan has not been here since yesterday morning, this means either one of two things. One that I stayed here last night or that I live here. If you'll excuse me." He left the room quickly leaving the startled pair in the kitchen.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

**Detached**: Okay then! I have no idea what I was thinking when these personalities happened, but it's too late now! And all my quotes, all my writing for the next chapter is gone! I remember it vaguely but will I be able to rewrite to a point where I like it? Don't now. Hope so. And currently working on something new that's been bugging me for days. It should be up soon. Oh and I'm doing something for Photo class where we have to write a story with a certain number of pictures and I'm going to butcher Little Red Riding Hood. It will no longer be the story of a girl, but two boys named Red and Hood. And I let a friend read my idea and she told me they sounded like Matt&Mello. Do you want this crazy story? Because it will definitely get better if I don't have to make it "school appropriate".

**L:** What about Near?

**Raito:** RABBIT!

L: What?

**Raito: **RABBIT! RABBIT!

**L**: Are you okay? Do I need to knock him out again?

**Detached**: No, he'll be fine. –smiles-

**Raito:** RABBIT!


	6. Chapter 6

**Detached:** Yo. Hello again. It's very late and I'm cleaning my room because my mother wants to move and a man is coming over to value the house so…pain in the ass. And I just learned that if we buy house my mom wants I'm sharing a room with my sister. (Note- she is a gymnast, has no imagination, dislikes anime, and will most likely be a future cheerleader or at least a female sports captain) I will not stand for many girls in tight outfits whose names I can't pronounce on my wall. I can't do it! Never mind the beam (I still trip on that six months later)

**L**: I'm just going to go out on a hunch here. You're not very athletic are you?

**Raito**: Or coordinated for that matter.

**Detached:** Uh…no. balance is about as athletic as I get. I walk to work though! (Well because it's been so damn cold recently, it's more of an extremely fast walk.) Power to the slightly lazy!

**L**: I know martial arts.

**Raito**: I knew that.

**Detached**: That's very nice, but some people are to poor to afford martial arts and others have no time. I unfortunately have neither, which is why I write you this now, at some ungodly hour in the morning.

**L**: Heh.

**Raito:** What?

**L:** Ungodly. Heh.

**Raito**: …

**L:** Do you get it Raito-kun? Ungodly? Raito-kun…?

**Raito:** I UNDERSTAND THE DAMN JOKE!!!!

**Detached**: Okay then! On with the story. I own nothing except my twisted imagination. On a note here Raito's father is supposed to be insulting, so if you are insulted he is doing his job! Just kidding, sorry if you are insulted. (He is not Raito's dad reborn- he's not mean)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

After quickly explaining the situation to an angry Teru and convincing the man to leave and making later plans, Raito rushed to find L.

L, who was currently in the bathroom, trying to bandage himself, sighed when Ratio opened the door. L quickly made a mental note to "lose" the bathroom key the next chance he had. Raito walked quickly over and started to pull various cleaning fluids, bandage and tape. As much as the man hated to admit it, he had protective doctor instincts. He would often go to help automatically now. Whether he knew them or not didn't specifically matter. L remained stubborn however and continued to ignore the younger man.

"Let me do it."

"No."

"Why not?"

"No."

"That is not a proper response."

"I don't care."

"Look, just let me do it. Especially if it…I caused…if it is my fault." L stared at the ground intently for several moments, as if a hole would open up and take him to Wonderland. When it didn't he nodded slightly. Raito pulled away L's bandage and reached down to help L pull his shirt off. If he was going to clean L up, he might as well do it properly.

L let the shirt come off, with only a small intake of breath to betray him, the only pain that he was letting Raito see. Raito remember when he had first started as a med student and how the sight of blood had made him slightly queasy. Especially the sight of it on his hands. But he had never seen blood as beautiful before, he had never thought of blood outside of the idea that it was something that everyone had, and that it was necessary to maintain life.

But with L it was different. The way it covered the pale skin and the way L's markings showed through the blood as it dripped down the shoulders and back. It was stunning, breathtakingly so. It was beautiful, but in a grotesque way. He was amazed that L had the kind of self control to keep still as Raito cleaned the wound and began to bandage him.

"Doesn't it hurt?"

"Of course it does. But I've had worse." Raito nodded as he continued to clean the neck. He…his body had done this? He knew just how powerful the strongest muscle could be, but he was still surprised whenever he saw neck wounds made from another. If you had enough determination you could kill someone. But the mouth was also one of the gentlest organs as well. It was deceiving, promising safety one moment and killing the next, both with its words and even its actions.

"I'm sorry."

"Why? Even though it was your body it was not you performing the action."

"Not for that. For… for allowing myself to-"

"I understand Raito-kun and I apologize also. It will not happen again." Raito nodded in agreement.

The uncomfortable silence lingered for a few moments as Raito finished cleaning the neck and as he bandaged the wounds.

"Better?"

"Raito-kun does know a thing or two about medical treatment." Raito smirked slightly at the detective.

"Well you shouldn't have any scars."

"It is easy to tell that you are a doctor Raito-kun."

"Is it?" L nodded.

"Quite easy. Talking about scar tissue, Raito-kun? That is most certainly medical speak."

"I suppose it is."

"So how did your discussion with Teru-san go?" Raito smiled.

"If you must really know, not very well at all. Until I explained anyway."

"I am confident in Raito-kun's explanative capabilities."

"Yeah well Teru will most certainly hate you. I've known him for years and I rarely invite him to spend the night."

L's face actually fell a little. "Well that's good."

"What L? What's the problem?"

"Nothing, Raito-kun. I am used to being hated."

"That's not what I meant."

"It is true though, Raito-kun." Raito blinked as he looked at L. he didn't understand how people could just hate things that they couldn't understand. Raito loved to be challenged, loved to encounter new ideas and read about new theories. He may have made judgments about people in his head, but if they had enough courage to say more than two words to him, he would make an effort to see them differently. That was another reason he got so well along with children. Children may have said tactless things and then stumbled over their words as they tired to correct themselves, but they were honest. They didn't have to think about everything they said and the consequences of their words before they were said. If you did that as an adult you were rude and ignorant.

Like his father. His father was quite rude and could be ignorant at times as well. His father didn't have a filter over his mind and said whatever he thought of and his opinions were very well known. There were few things about him that one would wonder about.

Maybe that was why he enjoyed spending time with L so much. He could talk freely without having to wonder if L would misinterpret what he had said. He didn't have to make the conversation understandable or have to take a neutral opinion. He could speak openly and plainly. So at this moment, Raito allowed himself to do so.

"Even if it is true, you shouldn't say that, because people never really get used to being hated. They can become accustomed to it and even live with it, but truly accept it? I don't think so." He placed his hand on L's shoulder.

"Neither Sayu hates you, and I…I don't hate you either L." L turned to look at him. "You're my friend L."

"I am?" L almost cursed himself, for he had said it automatically.

"Of course you are. Do you think I would let just anybody stay in my house, eat my food? Do you think I would tell just anyone" his grip tightened on the shoulder, "…anyone what I told you last night?"

L shook his head and Raito nodded, letting his gaze fall to L's back. Of course L would question him, L had been told for years how he was hated, and Raito could only imagine what else he'd been told. Raito wanted to reassure L. it wasn't as if a few simple words could erase years of memories, but it could help.

"I don't hate you L."

Despite what they had agreed on minutes earlier, Raito pulled L into a loose hug as he whispered the words again. He traced the pattern on L's shoulder lightly as L relaxed into the embrace. He kissed the side of the man's neck.

"I am sorry."

"If you continue to say that, I will blame you." L was joking and Raito liked it. L turned to face the brunette as Raito leaned closer. Their faces were centimeters apart; L could feel Raito's breath on his cheek…

A door slammed. They pulled their faces away, but Raito still had an arm around L.

"Onii-chan! I'm home! Uh…dad's here too!"

"Fuck." Raito released L and looked down at the shirt and then L's back again.

"You cannot wear _that_." he stared at the bloodstained shirt disgustedly.

L reached into the bathroom closet. There's a shirt in here. It may be from yesterday but…"

"It'll do. It's far better than _that_ and better than nothing I suppose. I'll leave first." L nodded; surprised that Raito had thought that a blood stained shirt was worse than his back, but that was Raito for you.

"Hello father." Raito stared at the man who was making himself so comfortable in his home, as if it was his instead of his son's.

"Hey, Raito. I heard you got a fancy promotion."

"Yes, father."

"I heard that you've got someone staying here. A man." He didn't try to hide his disgust at the word.

"Yes father. He stays here occasionally because he is a detective. It is simpler for him to stay here than have a hotel when he has a case; you know how expensive they can be. L had left the bathroom and traveled to his room.

"I heard Teru was in town."

"Yes father, he is."

"We're all going out for dinner. Your mother insisted. It's actually more like a party I suppose, she said to dress nice, not in a suit. Here." He handed Raito an envelope which he opened and read quickly.

"So is this detective staying here now?" Raito knew that his father knew and merely nodded and turned around to go retrieve L.

"L, would you like to meet my father?"

"Very well." L stood up on the bed before stepping onto the floor. They returned to the living room.

"Hello, Yagami-san." L said simply.

"I hear that you're a detective."

"Then you would have heard correctly."

"What cases have you done?"

"I was part of the English branch of L's taskforce until recently. I am called upon by L for need within Japanese cases if it is necessary." The older man didn't seem impressed.

"So L needs to send other officers here to make sure that we don't fuck up?"

"No, I am merely visiting my mother's homeland. I am hoping to track down a relative of mine." This was a lie because although that L was half Japanese he had long ago found his aunt and seen his nephews. He hadn't introduced himself; it was enough to just see them. He would go back eventually to see the third, he was a sickly child and L had not had the chance to see him. The boys seemed happy and that was all that mattered.

"So how long have you known Raito?"

"Just about four months now."

"Where did you meet him?" L wanted to say 'his place of occupation', but opted for something a little less…insulting he supposed.

"The hospital. I had broken my ankle."

"So are you coming to dinner tonight…what's you name?"

"Law Kingsley." This wasn't entirely untrue either. It was a hybrid of a couple of his real names and nicknames.

"Right so are you coming or not?"

"I shall try to make an appearance." The older man nodded his approval before turning to talk to his son. The room became very tense as they talked about various things. It took L a moment to place what this was. His father was distant, as if there was a barrier between the two that could not be crossed. With the mother being a bridge, but a temporary one, between the two.

The man finally stood up. "Well you have the letter. I'll see you later." With that he left, Sayu did as well, with several bags, makeup L supposed. He wondered if that was something that mothers normally helped with or if it was a female friend interaction.

Raito, for lack of a better word, collapsed into the sofa.

"That was a tense situation, Raito-kun."

"Of course it was. He doesn't accept the way I live." _The way you live Raito-kun or what you are?_ L's mind questioned him, but L said nothing.

"So what about this get together?"

"My mother's inviting a few people. We'll go to a fancy restaurant, and then I'll drink until I can tolerate my father's presence."

"What exactly is the relationship between you and your father?"

"There isn't one, but he loves my mother and sister, so it's all right." L ignored the strangeness of the comment and picked up the letter.

"Raito-kun, we have a small problem."

"Yes?

"I own nothing that can be considered "adequate clothing."

"I see." The brunette stood. "Give me a moment." he walked into his room and L followed. Raito disappeared into the closet and came out several minutes later. "I bought these for the older boys but an outfit or two wont make too much of a difference." He left L to look through the pile and went to grab his own clothing.

Several minutes later Raito had a pair of black pants and a burgundy sweater. L ironically was wearing almost the exact same thing, save the color of the sweater. L's was a royal blue. Raito came to life in his outfit, while L seemed to become more subdued in the colors. It reminded him of the moon, the way everything seemed less.

"Raito-kun reminds me of the sun. Everything around him shines as if they were supposed to."

"Then you are like the moon, secretive and subdued. The king of the shadows."

Roughly an hour later L and Raito were outside a small restaurant. They were ushered toward the back room where there was a table and a small dance floor. There were a few other people there, some L knew, and some he didn't. there were several other tables as well, with other families, but L ignored them.

"Law-kun! You came you came!" Sayu ran up to him. She actually looked quite nice, with a simple skirt and button down shirt. It also accented her brown eyes rather nicely. L knew that Raito had most likely arranged this outfit for his sister. Teru was also there, looking rather agitated and the fact that Raito and L were basically wearing the same clothing wasn't helping matters. L wondered briefly for a moment if Raito had ever slept with Teru. Teru would have most certainly it the profile. The man was intelligent and he wasn't bad looking as it was either. The fact that he was male didn't bother L, but did it bother Raito? Raito had never seemed to show a preference upon sex before. The thought of Raito sleeping with this man deflated L slightly.

Then L saw Takada. He didn't like this woman. Teru may have annoyed him, but this woman… Why was she even here to begin with? According to Raito, he had stopped dating her long ago. There were two other women and another man there as well. The older woman L could only assume was Raito's mother. To be honest, L was disappointed. She was nothing like either Sayu. Both the great-grandmother and Raito's sister had eyes that shown with strength, even though they appeared weak. This woman however was weak. She had mousy brown hair that was graying and she seemed tired. This was the kind of woman that wanted to be protected, who needed to be. And Raito's father seemed to fit that role perfectly.

The other woman was blonde and seemed to be having a discussion with the other man, whom L had seen in a few pictures. Matsuda if he remembered correctly. L's first impression was that the man was an idiot. A true honest to god idiot. L rather enjoyed those kinds of people. They were surprising to work with, although they could be a hassle at times.

They turned to face Raito and stood up simultaneously, the man tripping on his chair.

"Raito-kun! How are you! Haven't seen you at the office lately!" yes this man was an idiot.

The girl on the other hand squealed and ran over and hugged Raito.

"Misa-misa is so happy to see her Raito!" she drew out the 'y' happy and the 'o' in Raito. L blinked, Raito had dated this woman? He could understand if Raito had slept with Teru and he could even understand (grudgingly) if Raito and slept with Takada. But this girl? Even the idiot was better than her. Maybe it was just the clothing. She was dressed in a floor length ball gown. Except for the fact that it was black and it was made to look as if it was quite old. L wondered how she had gotten in.

"Does Raito like Misa-misa's dress? I wore it at the shoot today!" So she was a model. Therein laid the problem.

"It is very nice." The girl squealed again. Raito pulled himself away and walked over to his mother giving her a chaste kiss on the cheek before sitting down to talk with her. L was receiving dirty looks from everyone except Matsuda and Sayu.

"Sayu-chan, who is this?"

"Oh! Excuse me! Uh…this is Matsuda, the blonde is Misa and the other is Takada. Matsuda this is Law, Onii-chan's friend."

"It is a pleasure Matsuda-san. " The man stuttered as he replied.

"Y-yeah a pleasure, Law-san." L smirked slightly.

"So what do you do, Matsuda-san?"

"Oh, m-me? I'm a detective."

Sayu chirped in. "A very lucky one, at that." Yes, people like this man had a abundance of luck at their side. Not that it was a bad thing. Luck and talent were two things that you either had or didn't.

"So what is the occasion for this get-together?"

"Everyone is in town. Misa just came back from her photo shoot in…somewhere, and Teru just came back from…a really big case in England, I think…maybe France…I know it was in Europe… Well, anyway, daddy wanted to invite Teru over for dinner and mom wanted to have a party. We missed just about everyone's birthday this year.

"I see. Why is Imai-san here?"

"Imai? Oh you mean Taka-chan? Mom still thinks that they're together, although both Onii-chan and I have told her no." it's because he actually mentioned marriage to mother that's why."

"Marriage." L said the word, trying to figure out what exactly bothered him about it. It was just an eight lettered word. Four vowels and four consonants. He'd never realized that before. It had an equal proportion of constantans and vowels. The letters meant nothing to him, and yet, something bothered him. Was it because he didn't like the girl? That had to be it. To see Raito chain himself to someone like that would have been too much. Sure she was intelligent, but the way she acted wasn't much different from Misa, although Misa was more open about it. Even now, she was blatantly staring at Raito. Women that were cunning and crafty annoyed him. Women that trapped their men, women that- no he had to stop that train of though. Now. He turned back to the others.

"So, about Yagami-san?"

"Oh, the chief?" L nodded.

"Is there a reason that they are so tense with one another?"

"Heh, you realized huh?" Matsuda chuckled, "Well I've known the chief and his family for a long time, my father worked for him too, and ever since middle school, there's been a…strain I guess. Raito-kun grew up too fast I suppose. He didn't ask for help or even tried to have anyone come over anymore. And he never did like to do things with other voluntarily. I guess they just sort of…lost touch with one another. I didn't notice much because I was always a few years ahead in school and I just figured it was a teenager thing. I didn't get along with my father when I was his age either."

"I see." L thought there was a very different reason but said nothing. Asking a question out of the blue would most likely startle the man and L had no desire to explain himself. L may have been known to push limits, but he wasn't stupid. He'd have to go about it a different way.

"So Yagami-san seems to be proud of Teru-san."

"Yes. The chief always has looked after Teru. Well ever since Teru's dad walked out on him and his mother. Then when she died in an accident…people realized that Teru, although he did fight in school that she had been beating him. The chief felt horrible, he even offered to adopt him, but Teru went to go live with his…uncle I think…Well, it doesn't matter, the chief always thought it was his fault, so he makes it his priority to treat Teru like family."

"He'll never be family though." Sayu said sadly.

"Why is that?"

"He doesn't love me." Sayu said quietly. L said nothing; it was fairly obvious statement after all.

"What does Yagami-san think of this?"

"He doesn't blame Teru-chan, he thinks it's because Onii-chan was the first person to not pity him because of his mother. Onii-chan didn't treat him any differently." L blinked, he understood that rather well. "But if Onii-chan ever acted on it, I'm sure father would blame Onii-chan and hate him for it. He wants Teru to find a woman that will do the same."

_The chances of that happening are….low. Considering…there are not many people who are as accepting as Raito-kun is. Who have minds like he does._

A number of waiters came in with several dishes then. L supposed it was to be sort of like a buffet. He stared at the various dishes and frowned. He couldn't eat a majority of this. Not unless he wanted to be sick a few hours from now. There was a tomato soup that looked promising. There was a fruit salad also. L went to go sit next to Raito who was also sitting next to Teru. L felt as if he understood the man a little better now, but unlike Raito's acceptance, L could understand. To a degree anyway. L reached for the fruit bowl allowing his shirt to slide up his forearm somewhat. Teru noticed the markings and looked over at L.

"My mother didn't cook often, but she did know how to cut fruit at least. Her fruit salad was always delicious." He saw Teru's eyes widen and he released the bowl. An understanding showed in his eyes and he turned to grab another dish. Teru would still be a bother, but it was understandable. Not an acceptable bother, but an understandable one.

L turned to Raito whose eyes were slightly wider as well. He had allowed Raito to know this information as well as Teru. L did not like to mention his mother, but it was the best way to both give Raito the information as well as keep Teru off his back. For a while anyway.

"Why don't you have any meat boy?" L almost sighed. How he hated that question.

"I do not eat meat, Yagami-san."

"What are you…a tree hugger?" L wanted to clap at the older man's use of an English phrase, but kept his hands busy transferring plates to Raito.

"No, Yagami-san, I am not."

"Then are you a Buddhist?"

"I am afraid that is not the case either."

"Then what? You a vegetarian?"

"I suppose I am, but not by choice."

"And what does that mean?"

"My body cannot process..."L paused. He needed to simplify this, "Animal fat. Of any kind. I become extremely sick if I do ingest any." Raito's father looked skeptical but said nothing further about it.

The man was loud and most certainly opinionated and the alcohol he had wasn't making him have a better disposition.

"So Teru how was your big case?"

"Well, my defendant was an X-child, so it was quite a bit of work to pull him out of the jurors' automatic thinking to vote him guilty."

"Well, the majority of those things are guilty. Knowing things that none should know. Tampering with people's lives. Just yesterday we captured one of them. A murderer. Can you guess how he was killing them? He was ramming marbles into his victims' skulls. Marbles! As a deadly weapon? It's preposterous!

"Yes, they can kill in abnormal ways, but is that really so different from a person who kills some and hacks up their body for fun?"

"Of course it is! Whenever I go up against one, I wonder "What does this bastard have in store for me?" I can never know if the can knock me over by looking at me, or make my feet freeze, or the ground crack beneath me. Of course it's different; you have to think about what they can and can't do. It's much easier to face down a gun than one of those bastards!"

The waiters came again, with deserts. L had a feeling that this was a planned intervention, because some of the waiters were late, and the whole event was not as coordinated as it had been.

"Raito-san?"

"Yes, Takada-san?" L almost visibly twitched at the fact that Raito was calling her 'Takada-san' and not 'Imai-san'. He was doing it for appearances, but it still annoyed him.

"Would you like to dance with me?"

Raito gave her a small smile. A small fake smile. Raito knew she was taking advantage of the situation, and L knew that Raito knew. Hell even Sayu knew. But Raito, always being the gentleman nodded and stood up. L stabbed his slice of cake a little violently as they walked over to the dance floor. Raito's father and mother followed. There were several other couples along the floor as well.

"Uh…Law-kun?"

"Yes, Sayu-chan?"

"Um…uh…can you dance with me?" L was surprised; he knew the girl only had eyes for Teru.

"I suppose I can…" she smiled and L stood.

L continued to surprise Raito as he danced with his sister. L may not have come across as graceful, but while he danced, Raito felt his chest tighten. L glided along the dance floor, gently leading his sister as they danced. L's performance was breathtaking, and several other couples watched in awe as L danced. L really did look like the moon then, his dancing a pale ceremony in honor of the moon, his midnight colored hair sticking to his pale forehead. Then the song ended, and the spell broke. L hunched himself over and shuffled back to the table and took another piece of cake. Sayu stepped over toward him and gracefully cut in, leaving Takada to walk off.

"He's amazing Onii-chan." She said breathlessly.

Raito said nothing as he continued to watch L. such a beautiful creature his L was. Wait, his L? He didn't own L. He felt strange, there was something bothering him, maybe something he'd eaten. Talking about strange ideas, he wanted to go home. He wasn't sure why, he didn't have any feeling for it, so it ad nothing to do with the future but some part of him just wanted to go home. He was actually having a tolerable night with his family, why would he want to go home?

"Onii-chan? What happened to Law-kun's neck? He said he hurt himself this morning, but you wrapped it didn't you?" Sayu could be quite observant when she needed to be.

"Yes, I'm not quite sure what happened myself, but it involved a ghost apparently." She nodded.

"Law-kun says he's going to go home soon. He says he needs to talk to someone." Raito nodded as if he knew, but he had no idea. L was going home? His L was leaving him? Raito stopped dancing and rubbed his forehead. There was something wrong with him tonight.

Misa came up to him, Raito knew what she wanted. "I'm sorry Misa, but can you give me a minute? My head…" the girl nodded vigorously Raito wouldn't be surprised if she started crying.

Raito sat down. "Is Raito-kun alright?"

"Not really. It's like I have the conflicting ideas. Like I've just had a dream. It makes my head hurt." L's eyes widened, Raito was becoming aware?

Then one of the worst possible things happened.

Detached: Sorry guys, but I'm going to have to end it here. I really should be studying for midterms but this was nagging me so bad. I pieced this tougher over the three day weekend, and to be honest I'm not really sure where it came from. I do like Matsuda though, just so everyone knows.

**L;** Many things were unplanned.

**Detached**: That's very true. A majority of this was mast certainly unplanned. Teru, I don't like him (much) and yet I made him somewhat pitiable. I gave some insight to L, which came about strangely, and I gave L an unplanned talent as well as an eating condition (you can actually be unable to process animal fat; you can also be allergic to the preservatives in meat)

**L**: I am quite a good dancer. I know many dances.

**Raito**: Do you know the tango?

**Detached**: Why did you have to ask that? Why? Why? Why? I can see you two doing the tango…dun dun dun… damn you… I'll lock you in the closet…

**L:** Can I have a cookie?

**Detached**: You've been stealing my Girl Scout Cookies! (My mom bought some, have had three so far out of four finished boxes)

**L**: N-no.

**Detached:** You lie! Come back here! Raito I give you permission to use the Death Note!

**Raito**: No! I don't want to do commentary with you alone!

**Detached**: …you…selfish bastard…


	7. Chapter 7

**Detached:** Hello people! Sorry this took so long midterms are over! I'm not quite satisfied with some of my grades, but I passed them all easily. I would have had a "C" in one of my classes but teacher scaled it so I got a low "B" So I get to keep my head and you guys get another chapter! I also got a note that the personalities are confusing, so I'll try to explain as best I can, but I don't want to give away too much. So far as I know there are three personalities for our favorite killer.

There is: Amber: If you don't know who this is shame on you! Well okay I admit he's a little different, but it will be explained! I do not think he is OOC because I firmly believe the way I am going to write him is a plausible option. (I've also asked friends who agree)

Light: This is the cute lil' boy turned Kira. Again I believe his personality is a viable one. Haven't seen enough of the series yet (midterms) but in the books after he kills first two people Light has serious issues and convinces himself that their deaths meant something. Necessary to create a new world in fact. When I talk about him in the dreams, he is Raito, but it'll be in italics so don't worry. Italics RaitoLight (if this is too confusing I'll go back and edit all the memories to Light instead of Raito.)

Raito: Is the reincarnation of Light/Kira. He has tendencies of both, but for now, it's mostly Light (with a touch more rebellion in him) He was created for a purpose, if you think you know it good. As far as I'm concerned these will be the only three personalities, unless my story decides it wants more. (On the note of L I'm not sure if L will just remember or have another personality) Give me feedback! I want to break 25 reviews! (Aim low first) And another question L seme or uke? I always saw them as sharing the position because their both childish bastards that hate to lose, but people I know tell me otherwise. I'm not quite sure where story will go as far as that is concerned, but I'd saw in the ballpark of 3ish chapters. I think I've talked enough now, so I'll get back to the story with characters that I don't own.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_**Last time:**__ Then one of the worst possible things happened._

Raito's phone rang.

It didn't bother L; he was quite used to the plain ring that distinguished itself as Raito's ringtone. It was most likely the hospital, anyone else who would usually call him was right there. One would suppose that there was always the off chance that it was a wrong caller, but L knew better. The only calls actually allowed to get though were hospital ones, Raito personally set his phone that way. It was the reaction that L had not been prepared for.

Raito stood and opened the phone, and L stood as well. They had determined that L did not have a housekey, at least for the sake of not pissing of Raito's father. So Ratio would "drop" L off, for the sake of appearances. After a minute Raito snapped the phone shut.

"Who was that?"

"Work father. I am sorry I have to leave so soon mother." He leaned down and kissed her cheek before giving Sayu a hug. "If it doesn't take too long I'll come back."

"They don't need you; they have other doctors on staff."

"No, father. Very few doctors have the precision work that is needed for this operation."

"So is one of them more important than your family?!"

"Father-"

"No! Go on, save their life! And when I put them in jail, they can blame you for saving their ass!" Then Raito became angry, slamming his hands onto the table.

"I don't now if you know this, but my mortality rate is under four percent! It doesn't matter what they've done, if I can save them I will! Just like a chef should feed all who are hungry, it shouldn't matter if they can afford it or not! They have a right to live and I will defend it!" his voice quieted "And just so you know, the girl is a victim of several years of abuse and has head trauma and a severely damaged cerebral cord. Why? Because she's not human! Look at me and tell me what she did to deserve that?" he paused. "That's right. Nothing." He pulled his jacket on and stepped away from the table, L following silently.

"Do you wish me to come with you?" L asked when they were on the platform.

"Well yes, but even though it is my wing I still have superiors. When your paperwork goes through I won't have to worry about situations like these any longer. I cannot push your way though like I did previously." L nodded, but it would be some time yet, even with both their connections, for the paperwork to go through.

"Then I shall be at home, Raito-kun." Raito nodded, but he was no longer paying attention to L. he was focused on what he would be doing, ways to help this girl. L was surprised at Raito's outburst. Raito did not lose control, but perhaps his father had that effect on him.

L got off the platform after Raito had already gotten off at the hospital. L had a feeling that the brunette would not be home for some time yet. He walked into the house, realizing how empty it really was. Most times when it was just L in the house, he had something to do; he would be working and wouldn't even really register the fact that Raito was not there. This was the first time L had actually come to the house knowing that Raito would not be there. It was a disconcerting feeling as he looked around the dark house and into the kitchen. He grabbed a piece of cake and went to go wait for Raito to return home. He turned the radio on, pulling out some classical music. He did not wish to hear a television and he had no immediate cases. He sat down and began to eat.

A number of hours later Raito was walking home. He was seething anger and the cool night air was helping soothe it somewhat. That girl…she would live, but to what cost? Her back would be damaged for the rest of her life and her scars, both mental and physical, would be a toll on her. Raito had repaired her as best he could; she had a significant chance of being able to walk again. He should have been proud, but he wasn't. He was conflicted, confused. His outburst earlier had been partially due to what he had been told about the girl and his father's behavior, true but…all he could think about when he had listened to the phone message was L. What had happened to him to result in his markings? His injuries? Had a doctor refused L as a child? Raito felt compressed, restricted. He needed to make himself exhausted; he needed to run until he literally couldn't do so anymore. He needed…to go home. He told L he would be there when he was finished.

As he stepped inside and removed his shoes, he heard music playing, but didn't see L. That in itself was not too strange, especially if the detective was in the middle of a case. He walked into L's room and didn't see him. He walked into the kitchen. L wasn't there either. He walked back and went into the living room. L was there, but something was different.

L was sleeping. Sprawled out over his couch, once again in his signature outfit, sleeping peacefully. L's hair framed his face like a halo, a contrast to the paleness that was L's skin. Raito had thought L to be beautiful dancing, but this was just as beautiful, if not more so. L had one hand over his chest and the shirt had slid up the man's stomach slightly. Raito could just see the alabaster skin, the unmarred piece just above L's hips. Raito stepped closer towards the fallen moon. He slowly reached out to touch him, but he pulled the hand back before he could do so.

_What am I doing?_ he asked himself as he looked around. This was L. _What is wrong with me?_ He stepped back. L was his friend, a person whose opinions mattered. He couldn't believe himself. He turned around and picked up a blanket. He leaned over L, remaining careful not to touch him as he dropped the blanket over the thin body. L shifted and Raito froze.

"Mhmm…L blinked and looked up at Raito, and did something incredibly arousing. A slow smile came across the face as he stared at the younger man.

"I guess…I fell asleep then, hmm? Thank you Raito-kun." He sat up slowly and pulled one arm behind his head, lifting his shirt even further than it had been previously as he stretched. He yawned.

"What time is it, Raito-kun?" Raito blinked, only vaguely understanding what L had just asked him.

"Three-thirty I believe." L nodded.

"Raito-kun was gone for some time." Raito's smile fell. "May I ask why Raito-kun was gone for such a lengthy amount of time? Was it more than just a standard operation?" The brunette nodded.

"It-it wasn't an easy procedure L. she'll be scarred, for the rest of her life." He looked down at his hands. "There's only so much I can do. Her life won't be any easier from here on." Raito was no longer looking at L, his bangs shadowing the eyes L was so familiar with.

"She will be fine. I can assure it." Raito looked up, skepticism shining in those eyes again, just for a moment, before becoming lifeless once again.

"How would you do that?"

"I shall visit her." L nodded for Raito to sit next to him, which he did. "Now can Raito-kun tell me what else is bothering him?"

"What…what about you? Were you refused like she would have been?" L shook his head.

"I don't know if I would have been, Raito-kun. I never saw a real doctor until after I had been taken in by the orphanage. My mother never felt the need to have me professionally seen."

"But, your injuries…"

"That was the kind of doctor she brought me to."

"What?"

"I think you understand perfectly Raito-kun. The hack doctors that work out of their basements, the witches, the shamans, you know… I did tell you that I needed to be fixed."

"But you can't be fixed."

"That is true; she gave up seven years later. But not before I received a scar or two." Raito was silent once again, partially because of what L was telling him, and partially because of the monotone that L was delivering the information in.

L allowed the brunette to remain silent for a few moments before he spoke again.

"Does Raito-kun wish to ask me anything else?"

"I'd like to say that something like what you're telling me could never happen, that a parent couldn't possibly be that cruel, but…" he trailed off for a moment, "but that would be a blatant lie. I've seen both physically and emotionally how parents treat their children." Raito hands were now clenched together. He was probably thinking of the little girl, L mused.

"Yes, it's true." L stated dutifully. "Some parents would rather believe that their child has an illness than be an X-child. Some parents would rather believe that their child is cursed, that their child is possessed. Anything, any reason to convince themselves that their child is in fact, normal."

Silence took control of the room once again, and once again it was L who spoke first.

"Still, Raito-kun, there are people like you, who do everything they possibly can to help these children. Not many would be willing to risk their careers to create a home for them."

"I didn't have a choice really." Raito said suddenly. "I saw them everywhere. Wandering the streets, hiding from the police, wearing tattered clothing, stained with blood. The worst was watching the churches though, the food pantries and clothing drives. "We will not help those who are not children of God." I have never wanted to hit a woman so badly before that day. What makes them…" Raito paused, "What makes us so inhuman? Are we really that different? I didn't have an answer, so I started the school. I couldn't find many which actually had a decent education so it was just Sayu and I in the beginning, until I found Miki-chan and the older boys. True, it isn't the same as a public education, but it's better than nothing. It's what they deserve."

"I agree with you Raito-kun. On both of your points. These children deserve a future, they deserve a family life that is unclouded by hate and fear. They deserve a life in which they are not ashamed of themselves and what they are. Does a mother stop loving her child if they are colorblind? No. Then why should a mother stop loving their child when they realize that they can see others emotions in the form of colors and auras? Why do parents run their children out of their home after a single discovery if they have lived seventeen years together peacefully? Does it change the fact that it is your child, your own flesh and blood that is the different one? Never. Does it give parents the right to ignore and neglect their children as if they were mere possessions? I disagree." Raito made a small sound in the back of his throat and L stopped his impromptu speech. It was a painful sound, and it hurt L merely to hear it. He leaned over and pushed Raito's hair out of his eyes.

Raito felt as if his heart was being squeezed, he's heard these words, this speech from so many others, from the political activists and even x-children themselves, but he'd never felt a reaction like this. These words, this speech hurt when coming from L. maybe it was the fact that he's thought almost the exact same lines thousands of times, or maybe it was the fact that L was speaking with such emotion in his voice. L had moments of emotion, a smile, a serious gaze, a deeper tone of voice. Not this. Not this voice infused with an underlying sadness that stuck him to his core. He couldn't hear anymore, not now.

"Raito-kun?" L whispered again in his ear.

"Stop." He said the word forcefully as he spoke, desperately trying to regain the control in his voice.

L frowned at the man. "I suppose you know rather well what it is like. Our curse reaches all walks of life. Raito shifted away from L's touch, he wanted to be away from him, from everyone.

L saw the young man flinch and dropped his hand down. "I apologize Raito-kun. I did not mean to sound like that. As compensation I will tell Raito why I agree with his other point as well. Religion has been, since ancient times, a tool for the masses to support what hey want. It has been edited, changed, and restructured to suit various purposes. It has been used to start wars, perform murder, and change governments. It is the root of thought and still remains so. I do not believe in god. Humans are sentient beings that needed something to lean upon when we could not blame ourselves, when things happened outside of out all knowing control. There was a time however when I did believe in something. I dared to hope, to dream." L paused; Raito was listening intently, although he was still staring at the floor.

"When I was younger I followed my mother blindly. I wanted to be fixed. I wanted to be cured. Anything to make her happy, I allowed her to do so. I didn't mind my power, but I accepted the treatment because it was what she wanted. I went through…" he stopped; it was too much for that, even now.

"She kept me sheltered; I knew little about the outside world besides what I was allowed through her. Eventually however I did start to piece things together. But out time together was to end. One day, not too long after I turned eleven, I was abandoned. In a house of god. I sat there for thirty-seven hours waiting for her. I refused to believe that she had abandoned me. The orphanage took me in. and for three weeks I was actually happy as I continued to wait for her. I spent nearly all my time in the library. I had knowledge at my fingertips, and so much of it as well." He paused taking a deep breath.

"Then my small world went downhill. I found a book of essays, gathered by a student ling ago on x-children and their conditions and symptoms. I read the small essays hungrily and frequently. This is what I had been looking for, what I had needed. I told someone my thoughts, a teacher I enjoyed talking to, the next day. Most people had written off my talking to the dead as a side effect of my mother's abandonment, but now…the next day they turned on me. God no longer existed for me after that day."

Raito still remained speechless although now for an entirely different reason. He shifted his gaze to L's hand and took it within his own entwining their fingers together.

L blinked and looked down. Raito's hand was warm, pulsating next to his, their fingers laced together, in a simple harmony. L returned the gesture, gently gripping Raito's hand within his own. It was something the both of them needed, the fact that their was another person there confirming the presence of the other.

They didn't say a word; the simple action had spoken more than either of them could have. Raito relaxed, leaning his head backwards onto the couch, never letting go of the pale hand that was currently his lifeline, his link to sanity.

After a lengthy amount of time, Raito felt blackness start to grip the edges of his unconsciousness, his hand twitched and L removed his hand from Raito's.

"You must get some sleep." L said simply. Raito moved his hand to L's shoulder.

"I can sleep here." If he could have seen L's face properly, he would bet that the detective was smiling the slight smile Raito was so familiar with.

"I do not need to carry Raito-kun do I?" the exhausted brunette shook his head and slowly stood. He took three steps and leaned heavily against the wall.

"Once I push thirty-nine hours, my body doesn't really like to cooperate."

"It's been at least forty-four, Raito-kun."

"That would explain it hmm?" He felt a pressure at his shoulder, L was supporting him.

"Helping not a drunken man, but a sleep-deprived one, irony."

"Yes, Raito-kun." They were in his bedroom now. Raito collapsed unceremoniously onto his bed and began to unbutton his shirt. Or trying to at any rate. He gave up after three tries and one button. Even his tie wasn't fully loosened. He felt a pair of hands on his chest.

"Let me do it, Raito-kun." Raito tried to swat the hands away, but they held no conviction. L removed the tie and the shirt and went to remove the belt.

"Leave the pants, they'll be fine." Raito could have sworn he heard a sigh. Relief? What the hell, he'd worry tomorrow. For now, he had to grasp at words. His body was shutting down on him.

"L…L…I don't hate…you…" he groped for the hand once again, his eyes fully closed. L gave it, Raito was already asleep.

"Nor do I you."

**Detached**: So…………….like? I'm actually going to be nice here and continue for two reasons. One I'm not that mean and two I think this chapter actually came up a little too short for my liking…I think. Here.

_He was chained shackled to a bedpost as another was typing at a computer some fifteen feet away._

"_I am glad that you are finally awake."_

"_Not everyone can keep to your schedule can we?"_

"_No, but you were not asking for sleep last night." God this man knew just to get a rise out of him, didn't he?_

"_No, last night I had more important things to deal with. Including you." _

_The man unfazed replied "I do not believe I initiated the first contact."_

"_I do not believe that I suggested putting these to other uses, and if I remember correctly, you were already hard when I touched you."_

"_Well than Raito-kun has a faulty memory of last night's events." Well if he was going to be like that…_

"_Do I need to be reminded?" That did it; he saw the smile spread across the face, the beautiful face he knew all too well._

_The man closed the laptop and slowly crawled over to him, the spitting image of sexy; Raito could visibly see his markings from their last encounter._

_The lips met his own as he felt the clothe body shift against his own naked one, separated only by a thin sheet. The lips attached themselves to his neck, biting harshly._

"_Nnn…Ryuu…"_

_Then they were against a wall, his legs wrapped against the other, the harsh sound of breathing and the panging of a body hitting the wall._

_In a chair at work, godamn his lover for never keeping his hands to himself. Not that he cared as he saw the pale body strain against his own. He leaned up pulling the other into a harsh kiss._

_Almost immediately after everyone had left, the man did not know the word shame. Still he couldn't care as those delectable fingers were wrapped around him, pumping him towards completion._

_"No, I'm afraid it is my turn to please you." He said seductively as he kissed down the pale body, holding those treacherous fingers above his head. He licked a path down the body, stopping at the erogenous zones he had memorized long ago. He slowly toyed with the center of his lover, teasing him unmercifully with his tongue around his bellybutton._

_He was behind his lover, pumping earnestly as the beautiful one pushed back, their bodies in perfect unison. _

"_Ohh….gods…Ryuu!..." he came explosively, his lover within his hand. Collapsing on top of one another before settling into more comfortable positions._

"_Ryuu…" he whispered at his pale lover. The lips met his own and a dangerous glint appeared within his eyes._

_  
"Again? Good." Not what he had wanted to say but all he could articulate, both physically and emotionally._

Raito woke up gasping for breath, although for a completely different reason than usual. What had been that dream? Raito still felt as if he could feel the lips upon his neck, the hips against his own, the feelings…oh god…the feelings…but who had the dream been of? It didn't really matter at the moment, he decided he had more urgent matters to deal with, including his morning wood; he wasn't some prepubescent teenager, what was wrong with him? Maybe his years of keeping to himself were finally catching up with him. He needed a shower, he decided. A cold one.

L was at the kitchen table, dressed and eating a cake-like muffin. Raito wasn't sure if it was a muffin pretending to be a cake or a cake pretending to be a muffin. Either way L looked like he was enjoying the muffin-cake. Along with his sugar mixed with tea.

"So you're coming to the hospital today?"

"Correct, Raito-kun. You're not working today right?" L may have stated it as a question, but L knew Raito's schedule. Except for the calls anyway.

"Then let's go. Raito grabbed a cup of coffee. He was tired, after he made sure the girl was alright, he wanted to come home and sleep.

"Is Raito-kun feeling okay?" L asked as he looked at he younger man. "You look…drained."

"I'm fine, just tired." L nodded, he would let it slide. Raito was not comfortable with being vulnerable. He stood up and placed his hand on the other's man's shoulder. "You should eat something, Raito-kun. Caffeine will do no good by itself."

Raito almost gasped at the sensation he received from the detective's hand. His body instantly became warmer and trails of heat climbed across his skin. It was if his whole body was oversensitive and on high alert. He felt his stomach clench and the erection he'd worked so hard to kill start to react. He sat down quickly.

"Very well." He grabbed a muffin, a normal one and started to eat. L satisfied also sat to finish his own cake-muffin.

L watched Raito throughout the remainder of breakfast and on the way to the hospital. Raito seemed restless, as if something was bothering him. Had Raito remembered more of a dream? Or something else entirely, like Amber had hinted at?

When L saw the girl through the window, his heart stopped. He had seen her file, knew her name, birth date and other relevant information, but that's all it had been. A simple piece of paper. Seeing the girl was a different matter entirely. How many times had he seen this scene? How many more times would he have to? Outside his appearance did not change, but every time, he saw a piece of him die. It had been awhile and he had almost forgotten the pain. Almost. Raito steeped into the room first, it was procedure for the doctor.

When he entered the room, the girl visibly tensed. Raito glanced at her. Had he not been announced to the girl? He wouldn't have put it past some of the nurse with their petty rivalries.

"I am Yagami Raito-"

"I know. Why are you here? Surely you must know that I am awake and well."

"Of course. Can a doctor not be allowed to visit his patients?"

"Not usually." She was cornered. "Don't come any closer." To her surprise he nodded and even took a step back sitting in a chair.

"Would you mind terribly if I had a friend of mine come in?"

Actually she did, but he had listened to her, and she was in no position to refuse this man. She nodded stiffly. Raito nodded to the door and it opened. She blinked before turning to the other man. So that's who was causing the energy levels in her doctor. She smiled slightly. As long as it wasn't her.

"I am Law…what would you wish me to call you?"

"Emi."

"Well Emi-chan, I have heard that you have had a rather troublesome time recently and I also believe it holds points similar to my own experience." So that's why he was hunched over? She sure hoped that she wouldn't have to walk like that someday. But walking strangely was better than not walking at all.

"So what are you going to tell me? That everything will be better? That the pain will go away? That I should put this all behind me? That I should put my heart and soul into the therapy and think of nothing else?" she reiterated lines back from the various counselors she had seen today.

"No. Something like this is not supposed to be forgotten. People who say that have no idea what an experience is like. You will have nightmares for days even years, you will feel the scrutiny of those around you, those who judge you although they have no right to, the pain will haunt you at times to merely remind you of what has happened. And you will feel hopeless; there is no mistake in that, as other delight in your pain." Well that was depressing. That was what she had been thinking but to hear it…

L shook his index finger at her. "But you will survive. You will live merely to spite those who say that you don't deserve to. You will overcome the nightmares eventually; pushing them to the recesses of your mind where only certain events will trigger them once again. You will allow those who have no right to judge do so, and you will ignore them. And you will have hope, the hope that one day you will not have to repeat this speech unto another as I have done countless times as it was done unto me."

She was speechless, staring at this man with wide eyes. This small speech was exact and to the point. He obviously did not dance around issues nor did he feel the need to say this with pretty words and pretenses.

"So what about you?"

"What about me?" he asked her in response.

"The way you're telling me this makes me think that you're just saying this." His energy was platonic, but his eyes…it's as if he was hiding something.

"How similar was your situation to mine?" the levels jumped for a moment and he glanced at the other.

"Very similar."

"How similar?" she didn't care if she hurt the all knowing doctor's feelings. Maybe it would do him good dose of reality. A doctor that wants to help everyone, even the suffering. God how she hated that. She almost preferred the ones who showed their distaste.

"Almost identical." The readings jumped to intolerable levels. Her doctor had three scales! She'd never even encountered two before, never mind three! From a single person too! It was suffocating. One was an overwhelming anger, another a sickening concern and the last a horror.

"Raito-kun of you would please stand in front of the door." He nodded and stepped out.

"That was rude of you Emi-san. Raito-kun is not immune to pain, nor is he naive. He may carry himself well, but he is no different than you or I. now as you requested I shall show you "about me", as you previously requested. He pulled his shirt up over his head as he turned around. She gasped, hand flying to her face.

"I am branded, and that will not change, no matter how much time passes. Scars are proof that people heal. I someday hope to think of this mark and not be overwhelmed by my own memories. Your scars, although smaller, are no less significant. Someday I hope that you will be able to look upon them in the same manner as I wish to look upon mine. Now when Raito-kun returns I want you to apologize to him. You have caused me a great deal of trouble, Emi-san." She nodded sheepishly as L slid his shirt on. He opened the door allowing the brunette to return. He only had one scale again, she was safe to see.

"I'm sorry, Yagami-san."

"It is alright Emi-chan if you'll excuse me, I'll be back in a moment. I need to speak with a nurse." Raito left once again.

"Tell him you lied. Go ahead. I'll say so too." L shook his head.

"It does not bother me half as much as it will him. I remember very little about that. From the time I was abandoned until I was adopted I remember very little. Living from day to day, working more jobs that a normal person would count to. For several years I was nothing, an organism that was merely trying to live as best as I could. My memories from that time are foreign now. It's as if I'm watching them instead of experiencing them."

"Oh." She was silent for a moment. "I am sorry. I read energy levels, feelings sometimes too. He had three scales. It hurt to be near him, when you told me that our circumstances were identical."

"Yes, that is part of who he is I suppose." Raito returned Imai following him like a damn dog.

"This is Takada Imai. If you need me and I am not present, she shall attend you." L looked at her suspiciously. Did she know about Raito-kun? And if so, what had happened to make Raito leave her? Raito did not make rash decisions lightly. And since he had been planning on marrying the girl, it must have been something rather instrumental.

Emi watched the levels jump high, Takada was obviously and sickeningly infatuated with her doctor and Law seemed rather…jealous of the whole thing? Yet he was smiling at Imai.

"Shall we leave then?" Raito said turning to L and starting to walk out of the room, holding the door for Takada. L brushed his hand against Raito's as he reached for the door as well. She saw the three energy levels flare up again and this time, she almost preferred the last ones. They ignited all of varying values but they were all lust. So they weren't together? People confused her.

Raito let L take the door; touching his hand had been no different than L touching his shoulder this morning. The same heat, the same fire, the same curling sensation in his stomach.

Once they were home Raito turned to L "What do you mean almost identical? I though you said-"

"What I said yesterday was true as is what I said today. I did spend a long enough time with my mother in order to go through many different experiences. Now can Raito-kun tell me what has been distressing you today? Did you remember more?"

Raito shook his head. There was no way he was going to tell L about his dream.

"Then I shall tell you no more as well." L walked over to the fridge and pulled out a piece of cake. "I am willing to wait for as long as Raito-kun wishes on saying nothing." Raito frowned. He really did want to know about L, but…

"It was…different from the others…"

"How so?"

"It was…personal…" Raito trailed off purposely for L to follow.

"I see. And what exactly did this personal dream entail?" Damn L for being meticulous. Raito blushed slightly as the look L gave him. Not that it was any different from normal, but those hypnotic eyes were having an effect on him today.

"Would Raito-kun rather show me what he means rather than stutter like a teenager?" L was teasing Raito now wanting to see more of the blush.

"Of course I'd rather show you." L felt his mouth being invaded, Amber was back. L tried to push him away, nobody interrupted his cake.

"I never did understand how I can hate sweet things yet love how your mouth tastes my L."

"So why are you here this time?"

"Actually the boy called me out. Without realizing what he was doing, the boy called me out on his own. He saw some provocative dreams and his body wants a release, which is what I will give it." He kissed L again, straddling the man in his chair after pulling his legs out from underneath him. "Besides you owe it to him. Your touches have been driving us off the wall all day. He stood up and pulled L up with him. L tried to move away as Amber wrapped his arms around L, pulling their bodies together.

"I had almost forgotten how you felt my L." L still struggled again the other. Amber kissed him again and L felt his strength draining. He couldn't really push the other away, couldn't completely reject him. Amber pressed him against the wall, pushing his knee between L's legs. He was still being forceful, but not brutal.

Amber was trailing kisses down L's face and nuzzled the neck as L moaned, both in pain and pleasure.

"Light isn't too happy about this, but this time he's been put away by a majority vote." He said as he slipped a hand underneath L's shirt and kissed the neck again. His hands trailed the body slightly pinching a nipple, hardening it. L leaned into the knee, wanting more friction.

"Do you want me to finish L? I doubt I'll be able to remain nice though." L shook his head.

"No…violent…ahh…"

"That's too bad. I rather liked having violent sex with you." The other hand reached downward to free L from his constricting jeans.

"Raito doesn't know how to do this; he has kept to females over the years. Me on the other hand…I know just what to do to make you writhe in my arms." L shuddered as the hand gripped him through the fabric and began to stroke harshly.

"I know just what to do to make you moan." He pushed L's hips against the wall and dropped to his knees. His tongue began to trace the spiral that wrapped itself around his bellybutton before plunging the tongue inside, causing the detective to moan loudly. The hand never left L's erection.

Amber trailed his tongue down even further licking and kissing the creamy thighs that belonged to his L.

"I know just what to do to make you scream." The mouth encased L through the fabric wetting it.

"Nnn…" L moaned bucking into the mouth wanting more. Amber seemed content to tease L however and held the hips firmly against the wall as he removed himself from the member and leaned towards L's ear, pressing their bodies together.

"Are you sure that you don't want me? I can give you what your body needs very easily my L. very easily…"

L shook his head. "You're…not…Raito…"

"That is true, but that can't be your only reason? Are you really attracted to the boy?" He bit L's shoulder; perhaps he was trying to see how many marks he could make.

"I…I…don't…ngg_**know**_." He said firmly as Amber grinded their bodies together. Raito took hold of L's hand, placing it over his own clothed erection.

"Then at least help the boy. He refuses to do it himself, at least for now anyway. Consider helping a _friend _out." L jerked his hand but Amber held it still and moaned with the contact.

"I'd do it for Raito, but you need to ask for it." Amber moaned again when L gave him a single swift stoke.

"Fuck do I miss that. It's been too long." L did another. "You have to ask."

"Yes…ohh…L…L…finish it…please!" He called out the please as L gripped him tightly.

That was all needed, he let go and slipped his hand inside the boxers gripping skin this time as Amber moaned again. He began to stoke harshly, in order to bring the body to its peak. He pressed his thumb against the tip, repeating what he liked to do to himself.

"Nnn…ahh...L…!"

"You don't seem to like the idea of begging."

"No…this isn't begging…it's…nnn…pleading…among…ngg... equals!" L increased the pace of his strokes, feeling the precum leaking from the tip of the member. He was close, L could feel it.

With a few more stokes, Amber's grasp upon L's shoulders increased, L would be a regular rainbow tomorrow, but he ignored it for now. He wanted to finish this, he wanted to see the face he knew so well stained with pleasure, at the moment of ecstasy. He would probably never have another chance like this.

"L!" the brunette exploded, into L's waiting palm, who continued to stroke him unmercifully, draining him. Amber slumped against him panting heavily.

"Oh did I miss that." L tries to wiggle out of the embrace; he was still pinned to the wall.

"Stay still, my L. Give me a moment to remember you." He placed his head in the crook of L's neck as his breathing evened.

"My L is far more beautiful than I remember." Damn him, L thought as he felt the color rise in his cheeks. He kissed L's cheek lightly before dropping down on his knees.

"W-what are you d-doing?"

"Returning the favor, my L."

"No, don't…" L felt his resolve slip as the hand enclosed around his still hard member.

"Let me do this to you my L. I'd rather not have you suffer on my account."

"You're lying."

"You're partially right. I do want to hear you, but I also want to take responsibility for my actions."

"Then you shouldn't have done so to begin with."

"But I shall remedy the problem."

"Like I said ah-" L was cut off as his own boxers were pulled down along with his pants and his own need was encased within the wet warmth of Raito's mouth. Amber knew just as much about this as he did the hand job. L was grasping at the wall, his hands scrapping it uselessly. Amber leaned forward and the hands fisted themselves in his hair as he continued to work on L.

L pulled the brunette's head forward and Amber unfazed took the rest of L in before humming loudly. L gripped the beautiful hair even tighter as he moaned loudly as the other did it again.

"S-stop…I-I'm… going to…stop!" The brunette continued, not hearing L as he repeated his warning again. Amber was either ignoring L or he had not heard him.

Then Amber bit L. not harshly, just enough to shock him and send him into orgasm.

"Raito!" the pale man screamed as he poured himself into the other, which was swallowed greedily.

"See?" he whispered. "You do want the boy. He licked his lips. "Not exactly the same but I still enjoy your taste." He kissed the mouth, invading it once again as L tasted himself on the tongue.

"This body needs to sleep. I stayed a little too long, I'm afraid; otherwise I'd show you a few more things. He stoked the dark hair. Don't leave us again. We all need you, in our own ways." He stepped aside, giving L space as he turned around. "We…need you." He walked away toward Raito's bedroom. After a few minutes had passed L followed warily.

He heard the peaceful sighs of breathing coming from the younger man, but did not enter. He turned around and decided to take a shower.

After the shower L checked his computer. He had a single message. "Call home." L pulled out his phone and heard a broken sob.

"What's wrong?" he heard another cry.

"Come home." L knew something was happening, no one asked him to leave without reason.

"What happened? he asked again. Another voice came on, an older more emotionally contained voice. As L listened his pale skin became a sickly white.

"I'll be there." He began to pack immediately. He normally would have left everything behind, but this had made him realize that he, L had to stop pretending. He had a job to do and Raito had interfered with that job. It was time to move on.

L left the house, leaving nothing behind as he walked toward the platform. He would have another contact Raito over the children that were here at a later date. He turned to look back at the house, the place that had been a home to him, no matter how temporarily. He looked back at the road ahead of him, and began to walk once again, this time not looking back.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

**Detached:** So…L went home. With an emergency! But it doesn't seem like he plans on coming back… what shall our poor Raito do? The next chapter…will take a while to write because I want to go back and forth between the two. Also I have labs! Fun…

**L:** You complain a lot, do you know that?

**Raito**: Don't insult her today. She's in a bad mood.

**L:** How do you know?

**Raito**: The closet door is open…-glances-

**L: **Oh…right…

**Detached:** Okay then. One more thing I have to say and one more question. I have finished the "school version" of Red&Hood and I just need to tweak it for you guys. Also does anyone know what Spiral is? Because I was running ideas through my head and Death Note characters seem compatible with that storyline, but if nobody knows what the hell Spiral is, forget it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Detached:** Okay then: Here you all go! I know that this took a while but many things (life) got in the way. Not to mention I'm sick and I don't get sick often. Sick during vacation, you're kidding me! Well I've had an out line in my notebook for a while now, but it took dragging me out of the house and spending three hours watching nine year olds play basketball to create something decent for you guys. On another note I saw many of m little sisters friends, the little seventh graders, and aside from being rude they're tall! I remember when I was a whole foot taller than some of the boys! And now their taller than me! It was so weird! Okay now I'm going to answer a few questions for you guys.

Spiral is another "detective" show I guess…it's about this kid Ayumu Narumi. His brother disappeared two years ago looking for the "Blade Children" leaving his little brother and wife behind. Ayumu is very smart and one day at school (sleeping on roof) is awoken with scream. Girl almost died, he gets blamed. Welcome to the crazy world of Spiral. You get to meet some Blade Children later.

There is Eyes, who is a very (beautiful) good-looking pianist, Kousuke, a redhead who is good with knives and many others. I could keep going, but I say Wikipedia it, you can get a list of characters. Was a good anime and now manga being released. Whoo!

English had one downside though. When another character shows up (Kanone) who grew up with Eyes his voice…should be English accent right? Or German, considering his last name (Hilbert) but…he has…a…TEXAN ACCENT! Aside from that, was a good English version. (I couldn't watch it in English if Kanone spoke) If I make time I could probably come up with a decent storyline, but if anyone knows characters and like specific pairings request away. I am (almost) always open to new ideas!

Oh and if any mistakes are glaringly obvious tell me! I write this with incoherent brain and read with coherent one. Coherent one doesn't often understand incoherent brain. And one more thing! What channel is the Funimation channel! What TV programming? If my grandmother's house has it I will be so happy! Okay, I've talked way too much time for a story with characters I don't own now.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_**3 days later Raito**_

Raito woke with a start as Sayu pounded on his door and burst into his room.

"Onii-chan! Onii-chan!! Where's Law-kun!? His stuff isn't here! There isn't even any cake in the sink! And his room's clean! Where is he?!" She saw that he was sleeping and pulled the covers down several feet. "Wake up! Law-kun's missing? Where is he?"

Raito groaned, he was exhausted, and he didn't have the energy to deal with Sayu today. He sat up slowly, squinting his eyes as they adjusted to the light in his room. _Damn the sun, for being so bright._ Raito was certainly not a morning person, not before coffee and he had been rudely awakened as well.

"Don't know Sayu." he grumbled, "He left, but you already knew that he was going to right? And could you keep your voice down? I worked until four this morning and I have to go back tonight.

His request lasted a total of three seconds before Sayu spoke again. "Where do you think he went? Do you know if he's coming back?!"

This time Raito did groan. "No I don't know Sayu, please let me sleep." It had been three days since Raito had woken up, confused, dazed and sticky. Aside from feeling like a teenager and blushing furiously, the first thing he did was change before looking for L. He still wasn't quite sure of what had happened, but he remembered discussing his dream with L, then he remembered waking up in his bed. After a quick search, Raito determined that L had left, with little desire to return. Raito then combed through his medical supplies, afraid something similar to the previous event had occurred.

After he had determined that nothing had been moved, let alone used, he remembered sighing heavily in relief. Then he ransacked his brain for a reason why L would leave. He thought that L had finally been comfortable around him, comfortable with his presence. Something important must have happened to make L leave so quickly.

_And take all his belongings along as well? _Raito's mind sneered at him. Raito had no reasons for this, besides the fact that L had simply become bored with him, and had merely decided to leave. This thought bruised Raito's pride more than anything and bothered him more than he allowed it to.

Still, none of these things changed the face that Raito was bone tired and that he had another shift later today and that he desperately needed to sleep for a few more hours. So he pulled his covers up over his head and rolled over, shutting both Sayu and his thoughts aside.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_**3 days later L**_

A door closed as an older man steeped into the room, closing the door silently behind him. "L?" he questioned to the room. The older man saw L's hair above the mountain of paperwork on his desk and smiled slightly.

"Yes Watari?" that was another name that had been passed on, much like the L namesake had been over the years and L was far to comfortable with the pseudonym to call the older man anything else.

"I brought the papers you requested, along with a tea tray." Watari saw the hair disappear for a moment as L lifted himself out of the chair and stepped out from behind the desk towards the older man. He took the folder from him and smiled gratefully as Watari began to set up his tea.

"Thank you, Watari."

The older man smiled at the detective. L looked tired, he'd been working nonstop since he had arrived home. And what L was arranging was not interesting items either, but they needed to be very thorough. L wasn't working on a case, L was arranging funerals. Seventeen of them to be exact. Watari could have done one or two on his own, with Mello's help about seven, but seventeen? That was pushing it, even for the detective.

L looked down at the newspaper, the one that should have been published this morning, but he had managed to prevent it from being printed. These seventeen deaths needed to be kept secret, at least for now. L would let the press have their fun after the documents were in order. Also, the schools programming would have to be revised due to this incident. L looked down at the headline.

"MEDICAL BUS BOMBED! 53 DEAD & 4 INJURIED!" L sighed the bus had been attacked on purpose, medical buses were for x-children and the terrorists had attacked after the buses had stopped at the two most populated orphanages the city had to offer. Out of the dead, only six were "human". The police were supposedly after these criminals, but L knew better. It was another mission L had to complete…after the funerals were arranged that is.

L was needed to call upon his resources, to create seventeen believable pasts, with the children's' names, birthdays, medical records, the works. It was not a complicated task, but very time consuming and through. L's biggest problems were the birth certificates. Many of these children were unregistered, considering they were x-children. But they would be buried in the cemetery near Whammy's; L would make sure of that, even if it took him another three days without sleep to do so. Not to mention the other people who had dies in the blast, several had been loyal donators to the school.

They were also waiting for the information on the other children to come through. Fifteen from the other school had died, and if necessary, L would find records for them as well. The older man sighed. Such things were not supposed to happen to children. How people could view these deaths as a good thing astounded him. They were children, little adults, not cattle.

"If you could give these to the others Watari. I have settled these records. Kim Settler has an aunt on the edge of town; she may need to be informed of her death. Watari took the papers. L didn't just look tired, he noticed, the detective looked a little sad. Watari had read the younger man's e-mails. He had been happy in Japan, Watari was afraid that L had just left again, as he was prone to doing when things became too personal for him. When the dust from this settled, he would have to question L. He stepped out of the room silently as L picked up his teacup and returned to work.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_**1 week Raito**_

Raito was at work. Again. For the past week, he'd been getting little sleep and hadn't been eating healthy, he'd even slept in his office for a few hours between one of his shifts. In the past week, he'd eaten little except takeout. He hadn't had time to go grocery shopping, not that he wanted to either. He felt like doing nothing, he wanted to do nothing except work and then sleep, sleep dreamlessly until his alarm went off and he had to work again.

But the past few days had been taking their toll on him, he looked like shit, at least to himself. To others, he just looked tired but he knew better. His hair was at war with him, he had taken to tying it behind him, and he was glad that he had let it grow a little again. He didn't have the time to spend on his hair, he was living on coffee and vending machine food when he was at the hospital, and he'd put on two pounds in this week alone.

He wasn't running, well not home anyway. The only thing that home offered was his bed. He hadn't even done the dishes in two days, not that he had many dishes to do, but still. He hadn't vacuumed in five. He also didn't have his laundry done, he had realized only yesterday that l wasn't there to do the laundry, he had to make time to bring it to a cleaners. Or ask his sister to.

He flipped open his phone as he walked down to his lab. He called it "his lab", but it wasn't really. It was welcome to those doctors who wished to see the data on x-children, blood tests, DNA samples, etc…so in essence it was Raito's lab. How many parents had he brought in here? He'd lost count long ago. Even if it was an expecting couple the first thing he would tell them before testing was that he, under any circumstances, perform abortions, whether the child was an x-child or not. Other doctors could do that, not him. He slammed the door behind him looking at his recent paperwork.

He was stressed, anyone who knew him well enough knew that, and everyone thought it was because of work, which was mostly true, but Raito had become complacent, too used to the detective in his life, flitting about, to see the pale skin, the dark eyes staring at him. He still turned, half expecting him to be there with the small smile on his face, asking Raito a question. But he wasn't and it was only sinking in as more time passed for the doctor.

He pulled the charts up. Poor girl. He thought to himself as he set up the records. She was pregnant, barely an adult herself, and with twins. It disgusted him to his core, what gave people to do whatever they wanted to these people? But she was adamant on keeping them and Raito was planning on offering her a position in the home once she gained some weight. Raito would pay for her expenses, it was the least he could do for her.

Besides at the hospital, no one knew that he was one of "them". Well Takada probably knew, but he hadn't told her, though he had been planning to at one point. He had never loved the girl, but he would have settled for her. She was reasonably intelligent and decent looking. She also would not go against him. But love? He loved children; he loved pushing his body, his mind. He didn't love people as individuals. He loved his sister, but it was different. He was her protector, not she really needed one anymore, but that what he was.

He pulled up the old charts on some other x-children currently residing in the hospital and paused when he saw another's handwriting.

_**Emi Tanaka: **_

_**-17 years old **_

_**-5'8" **_

_**-109lb**_

_**-Scar tissue is healing nicely. **_

_**- More willing to talk openly with others, especially Imai-san. Perhaps because they are women? **_

_**-Is gaining weight, despite the fact hospital food is "nasty" She agrees that desserts are acceptable however.**_

_**-Meds will be decreased soon; will be on ibuprofen tablets, once drip has been removed.**_

_**-Emi-chan still does not trust Raito-kun very much, but is less wary than before most likely due to Imai-san.**_

Raito smiled, knowing how Emi had been L's sort of personal project until recently. He smiled both at L's note about the sweets and how he still referred to him as Raito-kun in writing and that he seemed to write Imai-san very lightly as if he disliked writing about her. He felt an anger rise in him. How dare L just leave like that? What about Emi? L didn't seem to be irresponsible, there had to be a reason. He pulled the rest of L's notes and placed them in another folder entirely, he did not throw them away.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_**1 week L**_

It was raining lightly, but L almost welcomed the cold against his skin, he had not been outside in a week. Besides he needed to stay awake. Usually staying awake was an easy task for L, but even not sleeping for more than four or five hours the whole week was having somewhat an effect on him.

Funerals also made L tired. He disliked large crowds, the children's funerals had not been so bad, only a few of their closet friends and, if they had any, family. It was these large ones for the benefactors and older relations that had once been orphans that were killing him. All these women crying their fake tears as they plotted for money.

"I think all of the money should go to his grandchildren," one woman was saying.

"But you're the only one with children." L said bluntly. "That would not be a fair dispersal of Mr. Kingsley's wealth, would it?"

"And who are you to say that?"

"I am Law Kingsley ma'am, and if you don't mind me saying where were you and your sisters when King was suffering from cancer? I don't remember ever seeing you at the hospital when he needed us most."

"So you're the ugly ruffian father took in." she said with disdain.

"Yes, but this 'ugly ruffian' knew your father better than you could imagine."

"Yes, his little toy, was it?" the other sister said. "So do you honestly think that you will receive anything from his will?"

"No, I was not your father's toy, and no, I come here out of respect for him, not his will and most certainly not to take mistreatment from his 'bitch-whoring daughters' as he liked to put it when he received letters for money which he always gave, mind you. But I think his kindness will stop at the grave."

"Who are you to say that? You have no right!" she lifted her hand as if to slap him. L caught it effortlessly.

"I promised I would keep it a secret when he was alive, but now I feel like telling you ladies a secret. I believe you remember your oldest sister correct?" They nodded vaguely.

"The one who was kidnapped all those years ago? L nodded.

"I'm her bastard son. The oldest grandchild. He proved it years ago after he found me in France with my mother's necklace. It was too late for a majority of the damage, but he salvaged the little "street ruffian" into one of the most successful businessmen of his time. Now if you'll forgive me, I wish to pay respect to my grandfather without you slurring his memory." He let go of her, god had it felt good to say that for the first time in his life, to say that he had claim in the world. That he existed. He had not been able to track down his birth certificate, but L had been more than happy to take his grandfather's name.

Watari stepped in to deal with the women, L felt a little bad for leaving Watari to deal with the whole mess, but he did wish to pay his respects to King.

What he'd told the women wasn't exactly untrue, but it was L that had approached the older man first, pairing up his necklace with the symbol on the car and house, along with his mother's portrait and his own picture. He had saved himself that day, so many years ago. And this man had taken him in without question. He was one of many orphans, but he lingered because he was not an orphan. Before he'd gone to Whammy's for schooling. L was not suited for the aristocrat life, his tongue was a little too sharp, and his words a little too pointed. But he had Watari and King. That was enough for him.

"I'm sorry grandfather, but if there ever a way for a man like you to go, you sure as hell did it right, King." He smiled, king had saved two children, covering one with his own body and tossing the other toward the end of the bus. L smiled, "You sure as hell picked the right way to go."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_**2 weeks Raito**_

Raito was at work again, in his office, trying desperately to relax, he was tired, and he needed to get some rest, but he was having dreams again, provocative ones, but they were different it was L he was dreaming of, the pale skin, the flushed face, the weak moans, the scrapping fingernails. He was going crazy. They were so realistic; he could remember the details of his kitchen for christsake!

_He felt his tongue trace the pattern that trailed around L's center, before plunging inside. Licking fire trails alongside L's thighs, kissing the detective harshly, fiercely, passionately._

_He had dreamed about giving L head; he didn't like to receive it, why would he dream of giving it? And L had fisted his hair, telling him to stop, but he didn't, he hadn't wanted to, and it had felt good, natural._

_He dreamed of L stroking him, pushing him wanting him. God he had never wanted anything so badly before in his life…_

Raito groaned, thinking about this was most definitely not helping matters, he decided as he looked down at himself. Raito had firmly believed in not touching himself, he wasn't in high school; he had his pick of any number of women, men even. Not that he'd ever been particularly attracted to any one person before. But his standards were falling, and quickly. He didn't want relationship complications that came with sleeping with someone, and he did not want and awkward one night stand with someone, but casual sex was too much to hope for, the only person he could think of was Teru, and he knew if he did, it would not end well. He groaned again. He would go home and take a shower, he decided, and if that didn't work…then he would probably resort to that.

But he couldn't understand why he was suddenly thinking of L that way. Sure they had kissed-once- and sure he had felt something, but this reaction within him was unwarranted.

A knock at his door disturbed him. "What?!" he said rather angrily. Much to his disdain, Takada came into the room, she was done for the day as well, dressed smartly in a two piece outfit with a skirt, and didn't she say she was going out tonight? Didn't he already decline?

"Raito-san," he had to give her some credit, Takada had somewhat of a backbone to talk to him calmly knowing how angry he was. L would have stared at him dead on though. _Stop thinking about him_! His mind shouted. He buttoned his jacket, to cover himself; he didn't want the girl to get the wrong idea.

"Do you want to come out with us?" Raito stood suddenly and stepped closer to her.

"Did I not already say that I was not the least bit interested in your proposition? I do believe I did. Now if you'll excuse me." He turned around, but she grabbed his coat.

"Raito-san, you've been tense lately, you need to get out more, have a few drinks have some fun. You haven't gone out in a while, you know.

"Do you think because I haven't dated anyone since you, that you are special to me? Well. You. Are. Wrong." He said each word definitively as he spoke. "I said no. and for the matter stop leading my mother on, you had your chance and blew it."

She pressed her body against Raito's molding herself to him. He felt her flinch at his hardness, but if that's what she wanted…

Raito growled and slammed her against his wall, kissing her, sliding her skirt up as he fell into a more secure place. She wrapped her legs around him, her shoes gone. He moved to her throat, kissing harshly.

_But this isn't the same, _his body told him_. It doesn't taste right_. Raito ignored to voice for now as he started to undo her blouse. Her hands stopped moving though his hair.

_See? She isn't keeping up with you; she's letting you lead, with not so much as a bite_. It was true. She had gone pliant in his arms, letting him please her. The fire died and he put her down.

"Forgive my behavior, but as I already stated Imai-san, you had your chance." He pulled his coat back on, leaving it unbuttoned; he no longer had anything to hide. "One more word of advice, being a doll might work for some men, but I'd rather a response." He stepped out of his office.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_**2 weeks L**_

L stared out the window, it was raining again. L liked the rain, but he wasn't really thinking about the rain, or anything else for that matter, he was just sitting, effectively not noticing anything. L's computer sat in front of him, the screen saver shifting colors and twisting into various shapes, but he didn't notice.

There were piles of papers on his desk, one of them being a copy of his grandfather's will, L had inherited everything, but there were still a few documents that needed to be retrieved apparently. L couldn't think of what could be so important for him to have such high security on a few documents, but knowing King it was most likely pictures of his children, of them young, maybe even pictures of his mother. L had only seen few of her; the woman that had raised him was nothing like the kind girl that was in the portrait in King's study.

L jumped when a door slammed, a boy ran in, a tall lanky blond. L smiled, he had not been able to see Mello due to the funeral, and he had not been able to think of anything due to the funerals. Well, unless he was napping anyway. And he didn't really want to think about what he was dreaming about.

"Hey L." the boy fidgeted in his seat, Mello was never really good at sitting still. L reached into his desk and pulled out a chocolate bar and handed it to him. Mello had his own, but for some reason he would rather have L hand him one. Not that L minded either.

"Soooooooooo?"

"So what?"

"Where did you go L? Tell me about it? Tell me about the ghosts you saw, the people you met. Tell me everything." He smiled indulgently at the boy. No, Mello was not really a boy anymore, he was on his way to becoming a man. It made L feel rather old.

"What about you, Mello? You seem to have changed some yourself."

"Ah, I just grew that all. I still have the best scores here and I don't cause Watari too much trouble." L nodded as he listened to the boy's stories about the school. Then he started to talk to him, first about Italy, L had enjoyed Italy very much, as well as Portugal. He wanted to visit again, perhaps with Raito-kun? No, he was L. L traveled not for fun, but necessity.

"Did you find you aunt?" L nodded at the boy.

"I don't know if aunt is the correct term, though. If my father was the man in the photo then we would be related, but…I still consider her my family, before I met King anyway. She had been more of a mother to him anyway. His mother had needed 'breaks' and would leave. For days, sometimes weeks, sometimes longer, and then she would whisk him away to another doctor, only to fail and dump him off with the other woman again. But she wasn't a mother, she was a teenager, and she didn't know how to act like one.

But still, L remembered her singing softly to him when they waited for his mother to come home. Before he had been abandoned anyway.

"…was there?"

"Hmm?"

"So what else was there? Who did you meet? Watari says you found other x-children." L nodded.

"Another school of them, though a bit more on the makeshift scale than this one. Still there is only so much one man can do."

"Who?"

"Yagami Raito." Mello's eyes widened. "I know who that is!" It was L's turn to be surprised. "How do you know that?"

"Easy," he looked at L's computer, to which L nodded. He typed quickly and an article appeared. "See?"

"THE HANDS OF MODERN MEDICINE." "Inside, articles featuring the Eastern and Western leading surgeons, with Raito being more or less than main feature. It went into detail on Raito's increasing fame due to his work with x-children.

"So that's him right?" L nodded.

"Raito-kun never fails to astound me." Mello blinked looking up at the man, filing the information away for later.

"So did you meet any children worthy of the title of L?" L smirked; this is what the boy wanted to know.

"Actually I believe I met two."

"WHAT?!" _Well that reaction was…expected,_ L's mind thought.

"Yes, one like you is an empath, although he is more reserved than you, and the other, I'm not too sure about his ability."

"What about the doctor?" L blinked; of course Mello would have picked up on L's comment of Raito-kun.

"Well, yes. Him as well I suppose."

"So you met THREE possible future L's?"

"I suppose so."

"So we have…Raito, and who are the others?"

"Matt and Near." Mello blinked.

"You know we're going to Japan right?"

"Why?" Mello didn't make demands, not to L, at least.

"So I can kick Matt's ass for leaving Near all alone!" L blinked, Mello didn't seem any different, although he was no longer trying to curb his tongue for L.

"I do not wish to return to Japan so soon."

"I don't give a damn what happened between you and pretty-boy. I am going to see Near!"

"You are not-"

"Shut up L! God, if you had just told the asshole that you loved him, none of this would have happened!"

"What?"

"Well of course you don't understand what the fuck I'm saying, you refuse to fucking wake up!"

"Mello…"

"We're going to Japan! I am bad, but this kid is sickeningly annoying when he wants to be. I guess we had to be when there was no Matt to help me out. See you soon L!"

"So can we go? I want to meet them! How smart are they!? They're not smarter than me, are they?!"

"Let's hope not." L sighed. These reincarnations were following him everywhere.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_**3 weeks Raito**_

Raito was interrupted at work with a phone call. "Onii-chan!!! I want Chinese food!!!! From the good place!"

"I wasn't planning on making a detour Sayu."

"I know, I know, but please! Please? For me?" If there was one person on the planet who knew how to manipulate Raito, it was his sister. It didn't work for other women, it simply made them seem annoying and clingy. Raito sighed in defeat.

"Alright, I'll get you your Chinese."

"Thank you, thank you! I already have ice cream so don't worry!" Raito almost groaned aloud, it was a movie day, wasn't it? Raito was not in the mood to watch love stories. Which made him think, what is a grown man doing watching cheap movies with his sister to begin with? He shook his head.

"There is a decent movie mixed in I assume."

"Yeah, yeah. I got one of yours too. Come home soon!" Raito hung up.

As he walked down the street with the Chinese restaurant, he remembered why he hadn't been taking this path home recently. And when he said recently, he meant these past three weeks. It was the cake shop. The cake shop where he had spent hours discussing things with L. Talking with L, occasionally eating with him.

The reason why he had avoided this street didn't hit him until then, and then the first thought was _I can't believe it._ He had avoided this street, not because he was tired, or because he wasn't in the mood for Chinese food, it was because he didn't want to think of L. There was something wrong with him. He left the Chinese place, carrying his food.

Then things just had to get worse.

The older woman that ran the cake shop came outside.

"Hello young man, I haven't seen you in a while." Raito walked up next to her.

"No, work's been rather busy I'm afraid."

"Oh, that's too bad. What about your friend? Law-san?" Raito smiled slightly wondering how many people L left behind every time he left, how many people actually noticed his disappearance and cared enough to ask. It was a depressing thought.

"He had to go home I'm afraid. I'm not sure when he'll be back." _I'm not sure if he'll come back at all_. His mind added.

"Oh, that's too bad. He was such a nice boy. But I'm sure he'll be back eventually, he seemed very attached"

"Yes he did like this place." The older woman smiled but said nothing. Raito looked into the shop, as if he was expecting for L to be there. He wasn't of course.

"You should visit more often, I'm sure he'll turn up eventually." Raito smiled for a moment.

"Perhaps another day." She smiled again.

"All children run away at least once, you know. Sometimes physically, sometimes…in other ways. Sometimes they are forced to run away, but they do return eventually. They always return." Raito blinked, was she referring to L? A young girl ran outside then, carrying two cakes. The older woman handed them to Raito wordlessly. Raito started at her for several moments.

Finally she spoke. "These are for when they return. And this, she pulled out a small box, is for the nice young woman that comes here at night. Miki-chan."

Raito blinked. How did this old woman know that he knew Miki? Why two cakes Why- he looked at her again, her eyes were twinkling. The pieces clicked.

"Thank you." He bowed before he left. He didn't have time to go home, but he couldn't take the platform to the school either. He looked at several maps before picking the park, if he cut through that, it would be alright. He liked the park in fall anyway. He hadn't had time to visit it yet.

As he traveled he called up Sayu, telling her he was visiting the school and would be home later than expected.

"But what about the Chinese?"

"I'll make those chocolate rolls you like as much as an apology." She huffed, but agreed.

Raito stepped off the platform, rushing toward the school. Not running, walking very quickly.

He made it there without incident; he hadn't even looked at the park really. He knocked on the door and Miki opened it, surprised. He stepped inside.

"Raito-chan, what a surprise-"

"Is L here?" her face blanked at him.

"What?"

"Is L here?" he asked again.

"Uh…no?" Midgets immediately attacked Raito's legs.

"Hey everybody." They all shouted their hellos at him. "Can you tell me where Matt and Nat are?"

"We call him Near now, not sure why." One girl said. But he's in his room, with a blond boy. He's new."

"Someone new?" he glanced at Miki, who blushed, embarrassed.

"Can you please take these to the kitchen? The older woman at the cake shop asked me to give you this. He handed her the small box, which she accepted. Other children reached up to take the other boxes.

"Don't open them yet, I'm not even sure what's inside." He smirked. "It might just decide to eat you first." The children laughed as they ran into the kitchen.

"So where is he?"

"With Near." Raito practically did run down the hallway this time onto Near's room and he opened the door. His first thought was _Oh, shit_.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_**3 weeks L**_

L couldn't believe he was back in Japan, back in Tokyo. The other "Mello" had kept on his promise, letting the current one bother him for almost an entire week, the worst part being the simple act that Watari was not keeping the child away. Watari wanted L to return and was merely allowing the boy to "slip" past him in order to do so.

He couldn't really blame Watari though; the older man probably thought it was best for him. And considering his grandfather's death had affected him more than even the older man sensed. Still, L had never shown an aversion to a certain place before, and L did need to get the work done if the children were to come to England eventually.

L accepted these valid points begrudgingly, and these points along with Mello's constant nagging, (he should never have shown some of the school's secret passages to the boy) made L finally accept that he would be returning sooner or later.

This was much "sooner" that L had expected however. Mello had hacked into his computer database and purposely messed around with the profiles in order to purchase the tickets and set up the trip rather professionally with Watari. It had taken L three days to fix the mess, but Mello got what he wanted.

There was a reason L didn't like to travel with others. He disliked looks from others, the little space, the simple fact that a machine was thirty-five thousand feet in the air, and stewardesses. He now had another reason, and it had a name. Mello. L bought out his own private plane long ago after two plane trips with others. That had effectively removed the looks and opened up space. Still he was thirty-five thousand feet in the air and had to deal with tight lipped stewardesses but he could tolerate it. Especially if they brought him cake. But Mello had been a downright nightmare, jumping from one window to the next, ripping open packages, playing around with the medical kit and (much to L's horror) opened a safety device, setting off the plane's alarm.

As L sat in the car that drove toward the other orphanage, he couldn't help but wonder at Mello's behavior. The boy was sixteen! He had no right to be doing such things! But L had not been much better, although he had been more discreet. L would have disabled the transmission before opening the device. Still, L had also been three years Mello's junior at the time.

_I just want to complete this as quick and painless as possible. I will ask Miki-chan to not tell Raito-kun about this. Three days. That's all I need. _He thought to himself as he looked out the car window. It was dark and certain thoughts were drifting into his mind.

_A warmth L had never felt before, the simple fact that someone wanted him, not for anything except himself. _

"_See you do care about the boy."_

_A pair of intertwined hands, the both of them taking comfort in the simple fact that someone was there._

"_Ah, I see, you're afraid to remember."_

_A smile, a smile L knew that was only reserved for people that mattered, a warm smile that mad him want to smile in return._

"_We…need you." _

L frowned suddenly. There was something wrong with him. He was here on business; he would most certainly not see Raito-kun again. It was a mere chapter in his life. He had other things to do.

"We're here L." the blond piped up as he stared out the window. "So where are they? Let's go!" he practically pulled L out of the car as L dismissed the driver.

"We still have a little ways to walk Mello. This is not an…especially safe part of town. We do not need to call attention to the building that we will visit. The face fell for a moment before L started to walk.

Once they were inside Mello made a dash for Near's room only to run into Matt, who was playing a game as he walked down the hall.

"Watch where the hell you're walking!"

"Watch who the fuck you run into! Don't tell me you didn't see me? Because if you didn't that makes you a dumbass!"

"Oh, I saw you, but only a bastard like you would have just remained in the middle of the goddamn hallway!" he knocked the game out of the older boy's hands as the other children gathered around.

"What the fuck did you do that for!?"

"It annoyed me."

"Well you annoy me!" the redhead swung at the blond, who dodged easily as he kicked in return, which the redhead also dodged. They continued like this, L assuring Miki that Mello would not seriously injure the boy and that this was something they needed to do. She seemed to feel it too, but still was a mother hen, fluttering about nervously as the boys beat upon one another. Finally they fell, but Mello had won.

"So what's you name, bastard?"

"Matt. Yours?"

"Mello."

"Sounds like a fuckin' girl. Suits you though."

"What the fuck does that mean?" Mello had stood up again, ready for a second round.

"Do I have to spell it out for you?" they lunged at one another. L jumped in between them.

"Enough. Didn't you want to see Near?" L asked.

"Oh yeah."

"Well I'm his roommate" Matt replied. Mello's face dropped for a moment.

"This is the…"

"Other one I told you about, yes. Now I do not want anymore fighting as long as I talk to Miki-san here. Understood?" both boys nodded as they walked away.

"Friends already." Miki said quietly as she stepped into her office.

Minutes later, they heard a knocking at the door. Miki was surprised as she went to the door, telling L to remain in her office.

"Raito-chan? What a surprise-"

"Is L here?" L blinked, how could the boy possibly know that? Did he have radar?

"Uh…no?" L sighed, he couldn't really expect the girl to lie to Raito's face, and it wasn't her nature to lie.

Then children came and distracted the pair. As they began to talk with Raito L released his grip on the chair.

"Someone new?" L's grip tightened again. Raito ran the place! Of course he'd know about new children! As Raito took off down the hall, L stepped out of the office. He might as well get it over with. He followed Raito and stepped back as Raito swung the door open.

_Bloody hell. _

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Detached: Another cliffhanger…sorry. Well this was…difficult to write…so difficult. Finally pulled something together though. So….reviews? I beat twenty-five and thirty as well!! So let's try for thirty-five! I did read some of your stories guys but Loretta's being a bitch…she won't open new windows. (Lie: she will, but then she close them immediately) I need to go to my cousin's. Her computer is nice to me. Sticking to Death Note stuff for now, unless someone has something amazing for me to read.

Note: I usually don't like OC's unless they are important and don't have relationships with the main characters, but I can bend.


	9. Chapter 9

**Detached:** It's Raito's birthday…at least when I wrote this (on paper) it is. I say now, that I did plan on putting this up on his birthday, but…we had some family problems. Like hospital related problems. So I'm sort of out of sorts while I write this. I'm actually at a different house keeping tabs on siblings, so…I figured I'd put this up on the birthday I gave Raito (March 2nd). I knew that his birthday was the twenty-eighth, (from vol 1) but I thought it would be too uncanny if they had the same birthdays as in the manga. Okay time for story.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Raito couldn't really believe what he was seeing. Well to be honest he wasn't seeing much to begin with. The room was dimly lit and he could vaguely make out the shapes of three people, of which he assumed were Matt, Mello and Near. What he was hearing was what made him freeze however.

"D-don't do that."

"Shut up! I know what I'm doing."

"Considering neither of you have ever done this before…"

"What's there not to understand?"

"It is fairly straightforward."

"So, what next?"

"My shirt."

"Pants." Mello said.

"No, socks." Near replied.

"Fine socks, then damnit!" there was a rustle of clothing as something was removed.

While Raito was frozen L had no qualms, this wouldn't have been the first time that he'd walked in on children doing…rather unsavory things. At least he'd always been secretive about it. He leaned over making Raito turn to him as he flicked on the light.

The three of them were in various degrees of undress, with Near being the most, only in a pair of pajama bottoms, whereas Mello was merely missing a shirt and Matt was in the process of removing his. The three of them turned their surprised faces toward L and Raito. Mello blushed, Matt pulled his shirt back on, and Near's eyes returned to normal from their momentary shock and merely stared at the two of them.

L looked toward the middle, where the clothes were located.

"Strip poker?" he asked incredulously.

"No." Near said.

"Then what were you three exactly doing?"

"Playing cards."

"What game?"

"Strip the old maid."

"What?" L and Raito asked simultaneously.

"Well in both poker and blackjack we can count cards easily. And since both Matt and I know the rules rather loosely of old maid, this is what we chose." He said this all with a calm face, which made you wonder why exactly why he was the one that was losing. Out of the three of them, Near most definitely had the best poker face, Mello was shifting slightly as he sat, clearly uncomfortable.

"And, pray tell, why were the lights off?"

"It was the only way; vampire-boy here would agree to play." L nodded, waiting for more details, when they didn't come he sighed.

"And why, did you decide to do this?"

"Don't know." They said together.

"Mello please stand up, we'll be back tomorrow."

"Where are we going? To his place?" he pointed at Raito.

"I wasn't planning on it." Raito's eye twitched.

"He wasn't planning on telling me that he was even in Japan, was he?" Raito turned to Mello.

"Don't think so."

"You're welcome to stay with me if you wish. The trip here will be shorter I assure you." Raito was being childish, but right now, he didn't give a damn. If this was what it took to force L to look at him…he shook his head and focused on the boy once again.

"Good."

"No, Mello you are in my charge and-"

"Shut up L. I'll see you tomorrow, it's not like you don't trust the guy, and you said he has the ability to be L. I'll be fine."

"Fine." L almost spat as he turned to stare at Raito. I shall stop by in the morning so we can discuss the status of the other school and these children. If Raito was going to be childish then so was L. "I will be staying at the hotel.

"Very well." Raito nodded as he stepped out of the room to go see Miki. Near stood up and Mello pulled the boy toward him.

"I have to wait, but I'll see you tomorrow, and tomorrow, we can finish this. Uninterrupted." He turned to glare at L. this was the other Mello. L could barely keep up with these reincarnations. Near shivered and Matt took his hand and pulled him back down.

"Don't forget me." He said grabbing Mello's shirt and pulling him down into a harsh kiss. When they parted, Matt had a smug smile on his face and Mello was panting heavily.

"You know, I'm still here, yes?"

"Of course, but Mello doesn't mind does he?" to which Mello shook his head. "See? It doesn't bother him. He likes an audience, don't you Mello?" the boy nodded again. "That's what I thought." He kissed the blonde again, and this time L wasn't sure when they'd part, but finally they did and he grabbed Mello's collar and hauled him up.

"Enough of that. You have to go to Raito-kun's house." Mello's eyes darkened for a moment before he straightened himself and left the room. He turned around to see Near staring at him with a smile on his face.

"You always were a stubborn child, but I never expected this." L sighed as he stared back at the white haired boy. "Your childhood must have been far worse than what it was supposed to be. You've buried the memories too deep. All of them. Mello was ready to remember us. You're not, for some reason. Raito won't wait for much longer. "L saw a flash of red as Matt nodded swiftly.

"What?"

"Look, I'll make this simple. You know his consciousness if fractured yes?" L nodded. "Well you can either put him back together or break him further apart."

"It's your choice." Matt said.

"But if you do break him, he won't have another chance again." Near said with finality as Matt pulled him closer. "Now excuse us." L left, his head swimming with the information.

Why? He wanted to remember, didn't he? Did he? He didn't know and what Near was telling him wasn't making him feel any better at all. He had a clenching feeling in his stomach, like someone had decided to hurl several rocks into his abdomen. And what about breaking Raito? Amber had never referred to such a thing...he stopped walking. Amber hadn't, but Light had.

"_Remembering could…ruin the boy. Just like before"_

How could L have forgotten that? So there was some truth to what Near had said. So it hung on L's memories. Everything hung on L's memories. But that was a box L didn't want to open, the Pandora the contained his memories. Once opened he wouldn't be able to close it again, because this time, he knew that hope was not inside.

L continued to walk down the hall until he saw Miki.

"Raito-chan is angry."

"Of course he is. He has a just reason for being angry too I suppose."

"Running away solves nothing L." she whispered. "Without fear there would be no bravery and the fear of rejection is what makes love only for the very brave." He stared at her. Love? He didn't love, he accepted others, and he respected others, cared about their well being, but love? L loved no one.

She placed her hand on his shoulder held it firmly as he tried to shift away. "I know very well that you do not love, not anymore, you radiate it. But that will do nothing except hurt you, and in turn Raito. I will not forgive you if you hurt him, remember that. Three weeks. You were only gone for three weeks, and he's barely keeping himself strung together." She released him and stepped away smiling. "Oh, there's a gift for you in the kitchen, I don't know if Raito-chan took it though. You can ask him tomorrow."

L walked away, who knew that Miki could be so scary? He left the building and started to walk toward a platform, not noticing his surroundings. He didn't know what he was going to do. His past…his mother…he couldn't share them could he? Thinking about it was painful enough, but he didn't think he could stand Raito's face when he told him so. But there was another reason, a deeper one, something that nagged him to his core. He stepped onto the platform and walked to his hotel, still debating himself as he did so.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

L woke with a start that morning. His chest felt cold, it was as if his insides had been plunged inside a bucket of ice water and he sat up quickly, having the feeling spread through him as he did so. It was a feeling that he was not accustomed to, no matter how many times he felt it.

"Enough of this. What do you want?" the feeling dissipated as he looked around.

"It was just to get your attention." L knew that voice, his eyes focused on the ghost.

"Good morning to you."

"Good morning to you as well."

"Why are you visiting me now when I have already returned?"

"You know very well why. You were busy fulfilling those children's' last wishes. I couldn't interfere with that, theirs took precedence over mine."

"True, true. Care to tell my why you're here?"

"Just because you couldn't see me does not mean I wasn't watching, you know." The detective nodded in agreement.

"And, pray tell, what were you watching?"

"The both of you. And that's not all I was doing either. I can't believe I never saw it before."

"Saw what? It's unusual for you to be so directly indirect."

"I talked with Fayte."

"What?"

"Your rebirth boss." L just simply stared at her.

"My what?"

"She's in charge of reincarnation."

"And???"

"You made a deal with her, can't tell you what it was, she wouldn't tell me, but you did. And it was all to meet my brother again. And you have, but now you're messing things up. Well actually the both of you are….but whatever. She told me that sooner or later he'll remember and something bad'll happen."

L continued to stare at her. "And this was?"

"I don't know! She kept saying really weird things. She's creepy you know." L sighed.

"You cleared up…nothing." Then he blinked. "Wait…" he frowned suddenly.

_They followed our example... _

_Fayte wanted to play dollhouse… _

_You had already made a deal…_

Was that what Amber had been trying to tell him? There was something he couldn't remember and frankly, it was pissing him off. It was like a bad high school prank where everyone knew something and you were the only one that didn't. Not that L had ever felt that before, which was why it was making him all the angrier.

"So I have to remember before Raito-kun does then?"

"I think so…" L sighed as he stood up.

"Fine then. I'll see if I can clear this up." He looked over at his clock. It was still a little to early to visit Raito, he'd take a shower.

Raito woke up early, and paced around his kitchen as he thought to himself. L was back. L had come back. L had come back with no intention of letting him know about it. L had come back with the specific intention of not wanting Raito to know that he had returned. Why was he so worked up over this? People who actually attempted to ignore him pissed him off, but this was ridiculous. _L purposely returned to Japan and was not going to let me know about it._

He slammed his fists onto the table before turning around and pulling out ingredients. He'd promised Sayu hadn't he? Besides he needed to take his mind off the man that was supposed to arrive later on. This would not be as elaborate a display as when he'd cook after a dream, but it would still take up a good portion of his kitchen.

After an hour and a half of wandering around his hotel room and cleaning it meticulously L left the room and wandered around the hotel for twenty-two minutes, buying seven dollars sixty-five cents on snacks, five hundred yen on a sugary soft drink, and another four dollars on more snacks, he decided to go to Raito's house. But not before stopping buy a gift shop and purchasing several chocolate bars and a "souvenir" for Sayu. He severely doubted that Raito would have chocolate for Mello.

The key was still where it should have been, L would not have been surprised if Raito had took it away and left L to pick the lock, not that he would have, L already knew how to get around Raito's security system. Well, the correct term would be 'rewire' the system, but who was arguing over terms? He wasn't.

He walked into the house and was once again bombarded with smells of a bakery, and once again Raito was totally absorbed as L walked into the kitchen. But as far as L could see, there did not seem to be any more of the homemade frosting that L had become addicted to. There seemed t be more of a variety to what Raito was making this time. He seemed to be experimenting with the various desserts around the kitchen. Not that they looked any less edible.

L watched Raito as he cooked, and like before Raito was wearing a black shirt and pants that hung loosely on his hips, but L's eyes were drawn to those hips as the brunette turned around. _Raito-kun does have a nice physique_ L thought to himself before reprimanding himself for such a thought. He most certainly did not care for the man.

_You screamed his name though_. His mind reminded him. L shook his head. That had been different…Amber had done something, and it was Raito's body…that had looked stunning as he reached ecstasy, eyes closed and a pale gleam of sweat covering him. The soft brown hair caressing his stomach as he…_STOP_! His mind shouted at him and L tore his eyes away from those graceful hips, forcing himself to look at the brunette once again. After a moment L went to stand against the wall.

He continued to watch Raito for several minutes as the brunette labored around the kitchen. Raito did really put his heart into things, L had realized. He may never have shown it to the world, but he was completely absorbed in his job, only taking forced vacations and no more than one or two sick days a year. And although his work schedule was so demanding, he still made time to purchase things for the orphanage and had a constant battle for land to purchase a better place for them. Raito was a very selfless person when he wanted to be, and there was nothing evil in that.

People who thought that Raito was cruel were wrong. He was a doctor and he was realistic. Raito didn't sugar coat things, although L put that bluntness to shame. L smiled he couldn't very well share the sugar now, could he?

L blinked when he finally caught Raito's attention.

"Good morning Raito-kun."

"How did you get here?"

"The front door, Raito-kun."

"You know that's not what I meant. Why are you here? And I know you're not here for Mello-not yet anyway."

"Correct. I came because I wanted to see a specific brunette." said brunette raised his eyebrows.

"And why is that?"

"I wished to apologize for my previous actions. I did not actually plan on having Miki-chan-"

"Miki! You apologize for asking her to lie but not for leaving for three goddamn weeks. Three!"

"Yes, Raito-kun. I am not sorry for leaving. It was a necessary measure."

"I know that! But you didn't tell me that! Nor did you feel the need to leave a note, you just disappeared. And when you decided to return, you were planning on not telling me were you? No you were specifically planning so I would not find out, weren't you?"

"That is correct, Raito-kun."

Raito lowered his voice. "Why?"

"We have different lives, different careers. I merely returned to mine. It was easier that way."

"Friends don't just leave."

"I went home. The game was finis-" a fist collided with his face and his back hit the wall.

"A game? A fucking game?! That's all these months have been to you? Are you kidding me?" he went to punch L again, who was quick to respond, dropping down on his hands and smacking Raito in the gut with his foot.

"What was that for?"

"You hit me."

"Once." Raito went to punch L again, who avoided it easily.

"Even if it was just one punch, once is once." L brought his elbow up and smacked Raito's chin as he did so who quickly retaliated with a successful punch into the table, which creaked with the pressure as it was slammed into the wall. Raito' grabbed L's shirt which he slid into somewhat in order to give Raito's chest a heat butt, it was ineffective as it was supposed to be, but it did give L an opening to take his leg and strike the backs of Raito's knees, making them buckle as they fell to the floor, still fighting.

L slammed the brunette onto the floor for the third time, Raito's resistance had finally fallen somewhat, he had switched to more verbal attacks than physical.

"You asshole. You conniving piece of shit! You-"

"I never knew Raito-kun had such a colorful vocabulary."

"I never knew that you were a demon in human skin, toying with others emotions. Asshole" He spat back vehemently. L blinked at the man beneath him. Of all the things that Raito could have possibly said…

Raito realized almost immediately that what he had said stuck a chord, but he was too riled up to actually see the exact effect it had on the raven haired male.

"Is the monster go-"

"Stop." L didn't want to hear it.

"Going to -"

"Stop!" L's voice became louder, with a note of pleading in it, but Raito was too far gone to realize.

"Devour-"

"STOP!" Raito didn't even blink as he continued.

"My soul-"

L's mouth met his in a fierce kiss, L couldn't hear anymore, not from Raito. Never from Raito, never again. He attacked Raito's mouth, tasting blood, but it didn't matter, he couldn't let Raito speak again. He didn't know how much more of the poison tongue he could take. Raito Yagami was not a person to cross.

Finally Raito relaxed somewhat and the kiss became less violent, but it didn't gain passion either, the brunette still being as pissed as he was. L finally pulled away and leaned into the ear.

"My past- no both of them- are incredibly painful, and I didn't want them, so I left them behind." L felt Raito relax somewhat within his grip, but he did not release the younger man.

Then Raito did something that surprised L.

He laughed.

A loud boisterous laugh that cut through L. The detective had heard Raito laugh before and this wasn't it this was a mocking laugh, a contemptuous one.

"The great L is afraid…of his past? His memories? He laughed louder. "What a fool I was!" L raised an eyebrow.

"To think I had any part in this! I merely reminded you of something you wanted no part of. So why did you tolerate my presence for so long? Why? If I was that painful to be around then why?" Raito's voice had lost the sharp sting it had a moment ago, but it was no less angry. "Were you trying to accept something? Running away solves nothing."

"I know that. I may know that better than anyone."

"Then why do you lock yourself up?" L released one of Raito's hands for a moment and tugged his arm sleeve upward.

"That's why." L said quickly. "Every time I fully trusted someone, this would happen to me. And I don't think…" the voice dropped off as he turned away.

"Don't think what L?" most of the anger was gone from the voice.

"I don't think…I could…survive it again…Raito." Raito blinked, L had never call him without an honorific before, he wasn't even sure if L had realized that that's what he had done. He also realized with a dawning horror of what he had done to L.

"Being betrayed? Or reliving your memories?" L nodded, still looking away from the younger man.

"What about the speech you gave Emi?" L shook his head.

"What I said was true, but just being close to someone, letting someone know what you do…"

"Look at me L." the detective's face turned to face him. "Look at me and not past me." Their eyes met. "L you are…similar to me, your opinions, and your views matter. I normally don't care what others have to say or their views. I may listen and acknowledge them, but I don't care. It's part of my job, I guess. I watched too many people die to keep count. But you L, you're not a monster…and I don't hate you." He paused before continuing. "You L…you're important to me." L was staring at the brunette, intently listening to what he had to say. Raito leaned up and whispered, "I don't think I could ever hate you, L." before closing the small space in between them in a soft kiss.

L couldn't move, couldn't respond, not that it mattered to the brunette beneath him, who subtly tilted his head, correcting their kiss. When they parted Raito whispered something in L's ear and his eyes widened.

"What?"

"Don't you dare make me say it again." L smiled, knowing what Raito had said, but much like the first time Raito had reminded him they were friends, and the word had come automatically. As a response he pushed his lips back onto the other man's and they kissed again.

This time it was warm, L noted as he kissed back. It didn't hold any of the violence or confusion the others had. It was reassuring and L deepened the kiss somewhat pulling Raito's lip into his mouth and running his tongue along it slowly, to lessen the pain from the earlier kiss.

Raito kissed back harder, wanting more, but L was not allowing it, still holing onto his wrists. Raito felt a hand graze his thigh on upward to his chest, gasping in surprise, L taking advantage and slipping his tongue inside to roam the other's mouth. Amber had not let much space in the way of exploration, aiming to get as much of L as he could before going to sleep, so L made sure to explore the moist cavern that was Raito's mouth thoroughly, only parting for necessary oxygen before reattaching their mouths together.

L's free hand was not idle either, Raito felt as it slipped beneath his shirt and roamed his chest. It ghosted over his nipples, preferring to graze his sides and make him slightly uncomfortable in the process.

"L…" he sighed as they parted for air. L looked down at him, smirking slightly. Raito tried to pull his hands away and L's smirk grew.

"I am afraid I cannot do that Raito-kun. I don't wish to be distracted." His mouth traveled lower, connecting his mouth at the junction between Raito's neck and shoulder, making the boy moan lightly. The hand started to slide the shirt upwards, the long fingers continuing to trail along his sides as he did so.

"…L…" he breathed, leaning upward for a kiss, which L granted. "Get this off. Now." L's laugh rumbled in his throat as he kissed the other's neck.

"Excited, are we?" but L complied nonetheless, releasing his other hand and helping the brunette remove his shirt. Raito's own hands slid up the back of L's shirt before they could be recaptured, and L let them remain his hands now resting on the brunette's slim hips.

"Raito-kun does have a nice physique." He said admiring the body openly.

"So do you, Law-kun." L blinked, at the comment. What had happened to the L? he smiled.

"If Raito says so, then I suppose it is true." His hands were traveling lower.

"I do say so." Raito practically growled as he reached to pull L's shirt upward.

"Why does it smell like chocolate-fuck!" they parted to look up at a pissed off Mello.

"Good morning."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

**Detached:** to be honest, I disliked this chapter. I think I made it halfway decent, but….if you thinks it's bad I may end up scrapping it. Let's see…about the Near/Mello/Matt thing, I like them, but my friend was going on an on about how Mello is more uke and Matt isn't. but then I thought about it and Mello is sort of like both at once. He looks like a girl eats unhealthy amounts of chocolate and wears tight clothing. Yet he kills, and becomes a criminal, so I let Matt Mello Near for her anyway. (Not that I think they'll actually have a big scene to themselves but just figured I explain.) so tell me what you think!

Oh and strip the old maid…funny story. I have lots of cousins (that I actually know) and the older ones are like 6-8ish years older than me so one year me and my youngest cousin (1 ½ years younger) snuck into basement and some of them (along with boy/girlfriends) were playing card. Reply. "Strip-" one of my cousin's K started to answer before getting smacked and having cousin J answer "Old Maid" then we were told to leave and my godmother asked what the big kids were up to. "Strip the old maid" we said. They got chewed out and I forgot until I was talking to said young cousin and she reminded me, so it worked its way into the story.

Also, the reason they aren't really in-depth is because they are like copies that don't they are copies so…they're like two dimensional. Either that or I'm just making bad excuses. Your pick. and Raito did not say "I love you" you're welcome to guess though.


	10. Chapter 10

**Detached:** My last chapter was reviewed well! I'm still not quite sure what that chapter was exactly, but considering, it wasn't too too bad I guess…and to be honest, I really don't know how to fix it at this point. I may be stuck with some sort of inspiration, but…-shrugs- this may be over sooner than I originally thought too. Actually out of my original idea, not much of it remains. Besides the obvious anyway. I think I torment you guys too much also. Technically I wanted to just have them get it over with on the couch so long ago…but that didn't happen. And Amber didn't take advantage this time. Yay! Or boo depending on your opinion…-shrugs again- 

Random trivia: Penguins have an organ above their eyes that converts seawater to freshwater. Snapple fact #131 (Note: I don't own Snapple)

Story time! Disclaimer…eh…I own little…except the new DVD WITH L figurine! –dances- heh! I owneth L officially now! Not really but -sigh-

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

**Last time:**

"_Why does it smell like chocolate-fuck!" they parted to look up at a pissed off Mello._

"_Good morning."_

Mello just stared at them open mouthed as they sat up, L standing up slowly after handing Raito his shirt back, which was pulled back on. Nothing on L's face betrayed what had just happened, much like Near's face had the day before, whereas Raito's face was somewhat flushed, although controlled and his shirt wrinkled.

"Why are you up so early Mello?"

"I've been up, but I know better to walk in on one of your fights L. When it quieted I figured it was okay to walk around, and then I smelled chocolate." L nodded before the blond continued. "At least you didn't catch us like that." he said this rather smugly. 

"No, but given a few more minutes yesterday and I'm sure we would have seen a bit more that what you just saw." Mello frowned.

"But you did interrupt."

"I am sure Matt took care of any problems you may have caused." Mello's frown deepened as he stormed over towards the chocolate pastries. He bit into it angrily as he glared at the both of them. However, after he finished it, he blinked. 

"What was that?"

"Raito-kun's cooking. It is quite good isn't it?" Mello grabbed another pastry and said nothing as he proceeded to eat that one as well.

"It's edible." He went to grab another as Raito took the tray. 

"I never said they were for you."

"So? Give them to me." Raito looked down at the blonde brat? What was his problem? He'd seen his sister and her friends (shudder) fight over them, but this was a boy.

"No, I made them for Sayu. I told her I would."

"And unless you let me have some, I'll tell her what I found you doing this morning."

"I don't care if you do, she won't…" he trailed off, glancing at L. She wouldn't tell anyone, that wasn't the problem. She knew what their father would do. And he wasn't even sure of what he wanted just yet. But he wouldn't put it above his sister to lock the two of them in a closet together, hoping to get a response. Letting her know would be very troublesome.

He almost grimaced at the fact that he was actually handing the pastries over, and he did grimace when he saw the smug look on the boy's face.

"So you thought the better of it?"

"You have no idea how scary a little sister can be." He smiled suddenly. "Actually one of the first things she asked me when L came over for the first time was if we were lovers." Mello's smile fell as he ate the pastry. "It not that I care if she'll say anything or not, it's what she'll be willing to do to actually see if it's true."

"And if you are wise," L said lowly, "I think that you'll remain quiet about your own relationship with Near and Matt. She does know all of the children at the orphanage rather well." Mello choked on the pasty. L smiled.

"You…" he heaved.

"Yes?" L replied, still smiling.

"Good morning!" A black head popped into the kitchen, fully dressed. "Ooh! You did make them!" she reached for a pastry, Mello's free hand tensed visibly as she began to eat it, but he didn't make a move to save the pastry. L knew how addicting they could be. L had taken the liberty of eating two-thirds of the original pile of sweets Raito had made, and was planning on eating four-fifths of this one. L walked over to the pile and picked up a pastry of his own.

What was with these sugar addicts? Like his sister hadn't been enough? It was just like L to have a smaller, albeit louder, sidekick with the same food tastes! He felt sick just watching them eat. He began to clean up his kitchen; he was not going to cook with the three of them around. He could handle Sayu alone, he could even handle L alone, but the two of them together? Along with Mello? Yeah right.

"So when are we going to the orphanage?" Mello asked as he grabbed one of the remaining pastries.

"We're going to the orphanage?" Sayu asked expectantly as she took another as well. L said nothing; he merely turned to hear Raito's response.

"After you finish we can all go visit." Sayu's face lit up, she did love the children.

Raito looked and quickly saw that the last pastry still remained in the dish, unclaimed. Mello was staring at it, but he made no movement to take it, it must have been for L. Sayu was still happily eating hers. 

So, on a whim Raito reached over and picked up the pastry. Mello's eyes darkened, he was not okay with letting the brunette take the last pastry. He'd barely been okay with letting L have the last one. L's eyes widened in surprise, and Sayu turned and stared, open mouthed.

Now that Raito had taken the pastry, he didn't want to give it back, but he didn't want to eat it either. He smiled. "For Miki-chan." He said calmly as he turned around to pack it along with the other sweets he had been planning to bring to the orphanage.

Sayu nodded. "Good idea, Onii-chan. They'd like that. So how will we get there?"

"We'll take the platform to the park and walk from there. We're in a small enough group to not attract attention, yet a large enough one to not cause suspicion. So Sayu, you should be getting the presents you bought for the girls." 

"Oh, I almost forgot! I'll go get them!" she ran off down the hall as Raito laughed softly. Only his sister. 

"Why did you steal my pastry, Raito-kun?" the smile fell slightly.

"I told you, for Miki-chan."

"It might be for Miki-chan now, but when you picked it up, it was to take it away from me."

"You're being serious about this aren't you? It was just a pastry. That I made." he emphasized, "Am I not entitled to keep some of my own creations?"

"I am always serious when it comes to my sweets. And although the chef is entitled to taste some of his own creations, considering the chef does not even care much for sweets…"

"I do eat them occasionally."

"I am flattered, but I do not consider myself a sweet."

"I never said I was referring to you."

Mello burst out laughing. "You guys…are…too funny! God...hahaha!" they turned to face him.

"I am glad you are enjoying this." They said together before turning to face one another. Mello continued to laugh watching them, clutching his stomach. "Better than…television…."

"That is enough." L said quickly, which was enough to make the blonde stop laughing, although he still snickered lightly as he glanced at the two of them.

"What's so funny?" Sayu asked innocently as she bounded into the room, presents in tow.

"Them." Mello said, suppressing a laugh as Sayu's head turned to stare at them quizzically. Suddenly she grabbed Mello's hand with her free one. 

"Let's go!" L's eyes widened as Mello's smirk fell entirely. Raito however smiled knowing what would happen. Mello pulled his hand away violently, staring at it as if it was broken before looking to the girl and then at his hand again.

"Oh…" her tone became serious. "I'm sorry. Onii-chan tells me not to do that."

"What did she do?" L looked to Raito.

"It disappeared…." Mello was looking at his hand again. "I couldn't feel anything…"

"Don't worry, she does that to people. You're power will be back within minutes."

"How?" the blond asked hoarsely.

"Think about it." He went over and took a couple of the boxes from his sister, ruffling her hair as he did so. "Let's get going."

They stopped off in the park, Sayu shouting with delight as she saw the trees with falling leaves and the fall flowers and colors. Somehow, the three men had ended up carrying all the boxes.

"This is a beautiful place Raito-kun."

"It is, isn't it? I like it here at this time of year, but the eastern part of the park is beautiful in the spring, that's where the cherry blossoms are. Seeing them would be beautiful." L nodded as he looked around in awe.

Soon they were at the orphanage, with Miki being the one to answer the door. She stared at L for several moments before Sayu ran and gave her a hug, which she returned as happy greetings were exchanged between the two girls.

"Everyone's outside, but Near and Matt aren't doing much, go and make them move." Mello ran off, before direction could even been given. A few more words from Miki later, after they heard a far off swear or two, Sayu was encouraged to help him. After helping set down the presents, Miki told the two of them to go to the kitchen.

On the table were the two boxes from the cake shop the day before. Raito had left them behind in his rush yesterday. He sat down to open one box as L did the other. 

Raito opened his box purposefully opening the top first before unlocking the sides and folding them down whereas L just pulled out the cake and it wrapping. He did this carefully of course, not wanting to mash the cake.

Raito then moved his attention to his own cake, now that the box had been properly dismantled. He unwrapped it slowly, not really caring about the cake, and wondering what the woman could have possibly given him.

L stared at his cake. It looked like some kind of fruit cake…there was a blueberry layer, either a strawberry or raspberry layer, with…lemon on top? And a cheesecake middle? There was nothing like this in any of the nearby cake shops. L took his fork and took a piece. It was a strawberry layer, he was happy to figure out. 

Raito merely stared at his own cake, having a completely different reaction. He never thought he'd see this cake again. The Lemon Berry Cake. One of the few things that he would actually eat as a child when his great-grandmother would make it. 

L looked up, Raito's rustling had stopped. L was no stranger to Raito's method of dismantling the cake box. He blinked. Raito had the same treat as him.

"Does Raito-kun not like this type of cake?" The brunette looked up.

"No, this is one of the few sweet things I'll actually eat L. The lemon balances out any extra sweetness the fruits fillings have. She used to make it." L nodded and merely watched Raito as he ate his own cake slowly; it was possibly the slowest he had ever eaten a cake before.

Raito merely stared at his own; suddenly L's fork was diving into it and pulling up a piece. Raito looked up sharply.

"I never said-"

"I never assumed." L cut him off. "But I had to break the first piece. You wouldn't have touched it otherwise." He held the fork up to Raito's lips.

The brunette wanted to protest, but it was true. He would have merely kept staring at the cake. He reached for the fork, but L pulled it back.

"L, can I-" L slipped thefork into the mouth, and pulled it out deftly, leaving a stunned Raito staring at him before returning to his own cake.

"What was that for?"

"No reason." L's cake was disappearing rapidly now, he'd be done with it soon. He looked over at the other cake again.

"What do you mean, no reason?"

"I had no specific reason for feeding Raito-kun." L was on his last bite now; he'd have to ask Miki where she found such a cake. Or maybe she had the recipe from his great-grandmother. It didn't matter right now; he decided as he finished the cake and placed his fork within the other's cake again.

"I don't want you to feed me again."

"I understand completely. So I'll eat it myself." He said as he placed the fork within his own mouth.

"You said-"

"I gave Raito-kun the first bite, didn't I?" he reached into the cake again and ate another piece.

"I never said you could have it. Give it back."

"And how do you propose that, Raito-kun?" he said as he took another forkful, "We both know that my cooking skills-" L's shirt was grabbed and the mouth pulled against his own, Raito's tongue removing what was left of the cake behind.

"Like I said, give it back." L thought about going to take it back from Raito's mouth, but merely took more cake instead. And like before, Raito took it back. L decided that he rather liked eating cake this way.

A door slammed, Sayu's head appeared. "Hey, James fell…" she looked back and forth between the two men and then down at the cakes. Well the boxes, for L had just placed the last piece of cake within his mouth, and Raito did not dare to take it back.

"Where is he?"

"Outside. He fell from the tree." Raito shook his head; even on his "supposed" days off he was still working. He opened a cabinet and pulled out the kit before walking outside.

The boy was sitting there and grasping his ankle.

"You've never fallen out of a tree before. What happened to the future birdwatcher? You didn't break your oculars did you?" he shook his head turning to stare at L as Raito went to work on the ankle.

Raito was telling the boy things about his ankle, but he wasn't really paying attention, he was still staring at L, obviously wanting to ask a question. L looked up at the tree.

The angle of depression, in addition with the visibility of the boy's oculars…

"Raito-kun," he whispered. To which the doctor looked up from what he was doing.

"Yes, L?"

"I believe that the boy did not fall due to bird watching, but from people watching." Raito looked toward the tree, and then the window, and then the boy again.

"Is that true?" the boy nodded sheepishly, clearly embarrassed. "Don't worry about it, I would just appreciate about keeping this from Sayu for now." The face paled and he sighed. "Never mind then. Let's fix you up shall we?"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Several hours later the group returned home, devoid of Mello, whom had been allowed to stay behind with Miki's permission, and the boy James would be fine as well, he'd merely sprained his ankle. There were times when Raito did not like children.

As soon as they were home however, Sayu got a phone call. After several moments she shouted that she had to go over a friend's. It seemed a little too convenient for Raito, but L didn't seem to be bothered. Or maybe he just didn't care. She left and Raito went to take a shower.

When he came out L was sitting on his bed eating some type of cookie he'd made. Raito was thankful he was wearing pants at least.

"May I ask why you are in my room?"

"I have questions for Raito-kun." Raito stood there his hair still slightly damp, staring at L waiting for him to elaborate. He didn't.

"And those questions were?"

"First, why did you not mention your sister's ability before?"

"There was no need to. The only ghost you ever saw here was her anyway, besides it doesn't affect everyone."

"I'd heard of such a power, but I never thought the rumors amounted to anything…"

"And I'd like to keep it that way. She'd be used as an interrogation tool." L thought for a moment.

"I could see the benefits of such a thing." Raito nodded.

"If that's what she wants to do however, I would not prevent her from doing so." 

"You are a good brother." Raito blinked, it was like L to say so.

"So what were your other questions?"

"Just one more actually." L said calmly. "What exactly was the relationship between you and Imai-san?" Raito started at L. That's what he wanted to know?

"They didn't mix the pre-med students until our final year in the program, so I didn't meet her until our final year. She was the top female in the program, and I was the top male. There wasn't much more to it than that. She was interesting for the first month or so, but then again, we were pre-med students. There wasn't really much time for either of us to get together due to the fact that I was trying to graduate with my original class." L nodded. 

"After we graduated, we were employed by the same hospital and it just made sense to keep dating her. It kept the others away. And I didn't hate her." He paused for a moment.

"Besides, as far as the future was concerned, it would be secure. So I proceeded with plans for marriage. It made sense, I could tolerate her, my family didn't hate her, and she wasn't clingy in public. They were simple enough reasons. We usually met in between shifts ata hotel or at one of our apartments. I was still living in a small apartment then." L nodded.

I would probably be married to her right now if not for that call." He paused again before continuing.

"We were at my apartment and had just finished with one another, when I received a phone call to come in. So I started to dress and she pulled me back down and tried to convince me to stay with her. To choose her over someone that needed me…more than she did. That was the last time. It was about eleven months total."

"So you were going to marry yourself for convenience?"

"More or less. Also I knew if she ever found out what I was, she wouldn't try to drag me down because of it." L just stared at him.

"That's it?" Raito nodded.

"So what about the others?"

"Just for appearances I guess. And experimentation. I was a teenager once." L blinked.

"So what am I? More experimentation?" Raito's eyes locked with his.

"No, believe, me I was a follow the textbook kind of child. I didn't experiment much beyond that. I felt no need to. Why are you asking these questions?"

"I have a feeling…that something isn't quite right."

"Look L, I don't know what you're trying to say right now but believe me, you are important to me. Far more so than they were."

L nodded as Raito spoke. "Still…." 

Raito leaned over and kissed L on the corner of his mouth. "Stop saying things like that. Seriously. Now'll if you'll please leave."

"I never said I was planning on leaving Raito-kun. Why should we waste the chance both your sister and Mello gave us?"

"L…" he sighed.

"What?"

"There are times when I wonder…how can you just say things like that?"

"That's what Raito-kun is for. He is very eloquent with words."

"I think you could be as well." Raito sat next to him.

"I can be when the situation deems it necessary for me to be."

"And trying to seduce someone doesn't fit into that category?"

"No. that would take too much work to keep up while I'm with someone."

"Sometimes I which I had your tact when it came to my line of work."

"You're too kind to be like that. At least to children."

"I suppose you're right."

"Are we finished talking now?"

"Sure, if that's all you wante-" L's lips cut him off, his tongue diving into the brunette's mouth, kissing him hungrily, as if there were still traces of the cake there from earlier. 

"No, I want you." He pushed the younger man backward, straddling the beautiful hips as he leaned down to kiss the sensitive spots he'd discovered just that morning. He bit down where the neck and shoulder joined, receiving a moan. 

L's hands were roaming, touching every bit of skin they could, while Raito as trying unsuccessfully to remove the white shirt.

"L…" he breathed tugging the shirt upward.

"Yes Raito?" he mumbled against his ear, making him shiver.

"Your shirt…"

"That's not the most important thing at the moment." He said slowly before licking the shell of the ear, making Raito groan loudly. 

"Nnng….L…ahhh….st…op…L!" he rocked his hips sideways and threw L off balance for a moment. He quickly then took advantage and moved himself above L.

"Now let's remove that damn shirt, shall we?" he said sliding his hands upward along L's sides pulling the shirt along. He finally took off the offending garment and heard it hit the wall with a soft thud.

"Much better" he said as he looked down upon L's body. He kissed the pale jawline and then slowly traveled south. He twirled his tongue around the marking before plunging it inside the center, causing the detective to moan loudly and grip his hair.

"You're body is beautiful." He muttered against L's ear. "So beautiful."

L wrapped a leg around the brunette and flipped them over again. "I think Raito-kun is mistaken, his body is the perfect one."

"I said beautiful, not perfect, L. No one is perfect, not me, not you." He trailed his hands along L's back, feeling the scars and tracings. "Your back is beautiful, not because of what you think, but because of what I think." L nodded as he kissed the brunette again.

"Why? Why do you say so?"

"Because of the way you view the world." He ran his hand through the wavy hair, feeling its softness. "Because of the way you eat, because of the way your eyes give away your emotions, because you look stunning when you dance, or innocent when you sleep…there is so much that I love about you, L." 

The kissing slowed as Raito's hands continued to trail up and down the spine. When it eventually stopped so did his hands.

"What's the matter L?"

"You said you loved me?" Raito's eyes widened, had he really? He'd said that without being aware of it? Usually he had to force the words from his mouth to placatehis lover. But with L the words had come naturally…as if he was meant to say them. So he decided to say them again. 

"Yes L, I love you. You are very important to me." He wrapped his arms around the neck and leaned upward for a kiss but L did not participate as much as he had previously. He pulled away.

"L…?"

The eyes opened to meet his. L's eyes were dark, dark pools of water that reflected subtly what he was feeling. These were not L's eyes, these eyes were cold. Cold and empty.

They stared at one another for several moments before L turned to speak, in a voice that was laced with sadness, even if his eyes were empty.

"So when will Kira kill me this time?" 

------------------------------------------------------

**Detached:** I did it again…sorry. It was too good an opportunity to give up. So what did you think? I always thought that if Mello knew Raito before kidnapping his sister that he would have judged him as a rival, but not like between him and Near…Also Mello is more innocent because…he doesn't kill people. Had no need to join Mafia. In my last note also between the names there were 'greater than' symbols between the names.

So all in all I sort of liked this chapter. I liked the throwing of words around. And Lemon Berry Cake based off something I saw in a coffee shop I think…I'm not quite sure what it was called exactly, but I want to find a recipe.

So now questions. L's back. (Original) What now? I was thinking about a scene between them, but I don't know… they will discuss important things however. So if something's nagging you fire away.

Next story will be Loose Pages. Something I'm writing for English that will be rewired for Death Note. Future where world fell (Kira won, then crumbled after his death.) Dystopian. Probably reincarnation. I don't know if I'll put it up until after I finish this, I don't think I could do two at once…but…-shugs- we'll see.


	11. Chapter 11

**Detached**: Okay, okay…I'm here. Soo…lookit! I'm over fifty reviews! And I can reply now…I hope. Which I will do after this chapter. Time for excuses now. My bio grade dropped a couple more points even though I took time off and studied. I don't understand! And I spent about half the week at my grandmother's, spent time working and had road lessons. Never mind the fact that the bathrooms in our house were leaking so… we went to fix it…and long story short…our house should have burned down years ago. So we're fixing it. Damn Mickey Mouse house.

**Previously…**

"_**L…?"**_

_**The eyes opened to meet his. L's eyes were dark, dark pools of water that reflected subtly what he was feeling. These were not L's eyes, these eyes were cold. Cold and empty.**_

_**They stared at one another for several moments before L turned to speak, in a voice that was laced with sadness, even if his eyes were empty.**_

"_**So when will Kira kill me this time?" **_

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

Raito blinked as he stared at L. his chest felt tight, and his throat dry. For some reason he felt like crying and laughing at once. It was painful and he couldn't control himself very well. He finally managed to force out a "What?" almost grimacing as his voice cracked.

L just continued to stare down at him. "It would make sense that you would refuse to wake up now." He looked down at their suggestive position and moved off of the man. "And trying to seduce me again I see."

"I never tried to seduce you L. What's the matter?" L's eyes locked with his again. L could clearly see the concern and hurt radiating within them. He placed his hand on the pale shoulder.

"Don't." L said shrugging off the hand. "These memories…hurt." Raito said nothing as he sat up, careful not to touch L. His mind was reeling with questions, but there was obviously something wrong. And why had L called him Kira?

L's body curled up within on itself as he saw flashes of memory. His own, from before, mixing and mingling with his new ones. He acutely felt the pain of the needles, the burning from the candles, the artifacts, those who wished to exploit him. He remembered a kind face, a tender one, a greedy one, an evil one watching him as his gaze faltered. He remembered the abuse, the names, the torture, oh god…he remembered the warmth, the caring, then the disappearance.

_**It…hurts…it hurts so much. Make it stop! Stop!**_

_Mother…don't leave me! Come back!_

_He's a demon! Unwanted! Cursed by god!_

_You ruined my life._

_You're not welcome here._

_Lookit! It's the freak! _

_Is something wrong with you?_

_He's not good looking!_

_Leave him here. No one will care if he dies anyway._

_No one loves you! Even your own mother left you! My parents died, you were abandoned!_

_Demon in human skin._

_Do you have emotions?_

_**STOP! Stop it! PLEASE!**_

It hurt so much, the memories were too much. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't cry out, and worst of all, the memories kept coming. A warm pair of arms suddenly encircled him. He buried himself into the warmth, feeling it spread through him as the crashing of memories ebbed, becoming less violent, more tender.

_Shh…let me sing you a song._

_Where did you go? I was worried._

_You're welcome to stay with me._

_No, you don't have to share._

_You're my first ever friend._

_Yes, the room is yours._

_Nonsense! You look fine to me!_

_Keep your chin up! Don't let them bother you, not now, not ever._

_What would you like to eat?_

_They don't call us Kings for nothing!_

_You're beautiful._

_I don't hate you._

Slowly his breathing became less ragged, his voice more stable. He was dimly aware that he had been crying, the pain had simply been too great. It was as if his mind and body had been torn apart then reassembled hastily, forcing pieces where they didn't belong.

"What's the matter L? Please tell me." The arms held him closely to the chest he'd been crying on, but the man didn't seem to care, not in the slightest. As L pulled away, he let go.

"Why?" he croaked. "Why? Why did you want me to remember? I wanted to sleep. Ignorantly, blissfully. You woke me up, and made me see his memories. Why? I didn't want this. I didn't-" he stopped suddenly to look at the young man. His voice became angry, but it still carried the hurt.

"Kira."

Raito stared.

L returned it.

"Was it not enough for you to kill me the first time? To destroy me? You had to do it again?" he looked down. "Was it not enough that I did this? To allow you a penance? I condemned myself for you and…you…forced me to remember. Why?" the voice cracked. "Why?"

"I-I don't understand."

"Of course you don't. You're not supposed to. That was the deal. But your other selves have their own plans. Even coercing Fatye to let them do it apparently. You always had a poison tongue, Kira."

"Who am I talking to?"

"Still sharp I see. You're talking to L of course. The original one. The one who was killed by Kira. In other words, who you used to be. You felt the need to save people right? And you didn't know why you felt that way? It was your punishment, your punishment for killing thousands. You killed thousands of people, through your elaborate plans. And I was one of them."

Raito said nothing, he couldn't say anything. He merely stared at L, wondering what had happened to him.

"Won't you say anything to me Kira?"

"I'm not Kira."

"I suppose this facet of your personality isn't, but you'll always be Kira. Always." Raito said nothing as he continued to stare at L. His words hurt, the coldness in his voice hurt, but the lack of eye contact hurt the most. Raito could see the cold and unfeeling eyes, but they were looking elsewhere, ignoring the brunette. It was as if Raito was nothing to him, nothing at all. He grabbed the black hair, forcing L to look at him. L's gaze turned and he started to speak, grabbing the other's hair as well.

"I have a message for you," he said, still looking past Raito at something, no someone else. "I know you can hear me. I didn't want to save you. I wanted to save the piece of you that mattered. The piece that didn't deserve the eternity in Mu. So I did. But you, you were able to separate yourself again. I wanted to save the piece of you that I watched fall apart after my death. Not you." The hand released the black locks and pried L's hand away from his own hair.

"I knew that. I always knew that. But didn't you see what happened to me as a result?"

"Of course I did, Kira."

"Well, Lawliet, then didn't you watch the both of us merge? Didn't you watch the innocence of the boy become tainted, and the madness take us over? In the end, we both reached for you. We were no longer separate entities."

"So why are you now?"

"Just now, I watched you merge with him. Do you think he could honestly be able to accept both our psyches at once? He can't. Not without you."

"You…you…Kira."

"Yes, Lawliet." He said as he brushed his hand through L's hair. "You don't think I cut off my escape as well, by removing you? I needed you, Lawliet. I still do."

"Then why?"

"I always finish what I start."

"Including killing me?"

"Yes."

A leg made contact then, flinging the brunette off the side of the bed and onto the floor. A groan was heard, but the face reappeared, and the eyes were blank.

"I deserve whatever punishment you see fit to give me."

The other man did nothing more, the moment of anger was gone. "Why?" he choked out again.

"It was all I could do. I had just regained myself, much like you just did. The only thing I could focus on was my plans; I was driven by my anger. At myself, at you. You think my plans went perfectly, and they did obtain the correct end results. But there were alterations. You. You always managed to defy my expectations Lawliet."

"Why are you calling me that?"

"Because you're not L right now, not the one I once knew, or the one Raito knows. You're both of them, just as I am both Raito and Kira, so I am Amber."

Lawliet nodded. "I am going to ask you a question and I want you to answer it."

"I will."

"Do you regret it?" The face smiled sadly.

"Do you really want an answer to that?" he sighed as L continued to stare at him.

"Yes. Everyday Lawliet. Everyday. I pushed it to the back of my mind at first, telling myself it was just Light's memories talking. But that didn't excuse my own memories. They slowly consumed me, eventually breaking me too. It may have been Light that wanted to cry first, but it was my body that allowed it to happen. We both fell apart. Did you notice Lawliet?

"…"

"I didn't think so. We were not the same, not after he regained my memories. I forced myself back into him, and by the time he found himself, you were gone. But, slowly, we did merge again. Human and murderer, into a pathetic creature with no purpose. You saw that didn't you?"

"I saw you lose yourself."

"Yes, we did. And you want to know why? It was because you weren't there. It ate at Light, and then though him to me. He made me human again, and I tainted his soul."

The once famous detective said nothing as the other continued.

"We didn't expect you to save us however. Not at all. We believed we deserved it, our grand punishment for being murderers. For trying to be a god. But you saved us. Not once, but twice. You gave us our humanity back in life, and you spared us in death. But you had already been reborn by the time we were released from our lessened punishment. We watched you then, as you grew, and we saw what exactly you had given up for us. We saw-"

"Enough." Amber continued without missing a beat.

"We saw many things, and decided to be reborn, to meet you again. So we made our own deal with Fayte in order to do so. We gave up everything we could, in order to be reborn again, to meet you. This is our only chance."

"I can't believe your actions, nor can I believe your poison tongue. So what should I believe?"

"You're right, I can't make you believe me, nor can I determine the truth to what I said. But the boy, you can believe him. Don't you see? He can give you what the neither of us could."

"Light agrees?"

"Yes. He can't convince you either."

L was silent for several minutes. "You do know what going to happen now right? To him I mean?" Lawliet gestured to his own body. "And what will your response be?"

"I was an arrogant child, thinking that I could help you then. Foolish and arrogant. Even as a spiritual entity I was the same. That's why you sealed me away. But the boy is different. Seeing death around him, viewing hatred, watching people break down, it affects him subtly. He likes to pretend that it doesn't, but you've seen."

"I have."

The hand came to touch the face. "He knows compassion, and he does care for the well being of others more than himself, and he'd rather spend his entire life taking care of others than depend on someone. You know this, yes? We were not much different, although we put ourselves first, seeing everyone else as inferior, until we met you anyway. He is similar. Placing himself after everyone, never needing help, never needing another, and again you proved him wrong." The hand cupped the face as he leaned closer.

"And for that, we are thankful. He is slowly realizing that he does need someone, that he does need you. And he's noticing this before it's too late." He kissed the lips softly before pulling away.

"And that can be nothing except a good thing." He lay down and turned to face the wall, and was soon breathing evenly, sleeping peacefully.

The detective watched the man then, curling up on himself once again. "Why? Why? Why?" he managed to ask the sleeping form again and again. There were so many questions left unanswered and the one he had wanted the most had been ignored completely.

He sat there quietly, letting the tears fall, the angry ones over his death, the sad ones from watching the boy fall, the jealous ones over how the boy had continued to grow into a man, the crushing ones from being betrayed, the joyful ones of being saved… For hours he cried, crying away the years he had not been allowed to, both in life and death.

"Why…?"

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

Ratio woke first and looked over next to him; L was curled up, holding himself tightly. He hadn't looked like this the last time he slept. He looked like he was in pain, in turmoil.

"I'm sorry." he said, not really quite sure what he was apologizing for. He pulled the body closer to him as he tried to piece together last night. L's other self had woken up and…called him Kira?

"_You felt the need to save people right? And you didn't know why you felt that way? It was your punishment, your punishment for killing thousands. You killed thousands of people, through your elaborate plans. And I was one of them."_

Was that true? Was that why he had become a doctor? To save the people because he had killed in a previous life?

Six months ago, if you'd asked him if he believed in ghosts, never mind reincarnation, he would have said no. but now, it was different. Ghosts did exist, L had proven that. And so did reincarnation, apparently. He had assumed that his previous memory lapses had been due to something else, but what if it was…himself? Or who he used to be? What if it was who he still was, a murderer?

And he'd killed L? L and Kira had been enemies sure, but why did he feel this way about him then? Why would he have loved his mortal enemy? Or was that a part of his punishment as well?

Raito pulled the body closer to him, needing the warmth, the sense of self, just as much as the other did. The soft breathing helped him focus. The brunette was not one to normally second guess himself, but the pale man often made him do so.

Some time later, L opened his eyes. Raito was staring at him concerned. "Did something…happen last night?"

"Nothing like that."

"Do you remember then?" Raito needed to confirm it.

"Not much." The other replied. But he felt different, like he should remember…

"Oh."

"And you?"

"Well I remember that there was another you, like a reincarnation like you said, and he said some things, and then…nothing."

"I see." Raito sat dazed for a moment before turning to his clock. "I should be getting ready for work; do you want to go see Emi? She'll be discharged soon. She missed you, you know." He turned away, not adding a word that he wanted to within the phrase. L nodded in agreement.

"Very well." He said as he started to stretch. For some reason, his back felt unnecessarily tight. Raito walked to the other side of the room before turning around quickly.

"L." The amber colored eyes met obsidian ones.

"Yes, Raito-kun?"

"I'm glad you're back." He said before leaving the room. L sat there in amazement until he heard the shower start to run. He stared at the doorway for several minutes, before shaking his head and standing up.

As L sat at the kitchen table eating, he felt different. Not better or worse, just…different. Out of sorts. He wasn't even enjoying the cake as much as he normally did. His senses were on edge, and he had a headache. Something wasn't right about him today.

"Hey L." Raito walked into the kitchen, showered and dressed, ready for work. He saw that only one piece of cake had been removed, instead of his usual three. "Are you okay?" he asked.

L nodded. "I am fine, Raito-kun. I was just wondering about yesterday."

"It is a rather disconcerting feeling, isn't it?"

"Yes, I have allowed others to use my body before, but this is the first time that I have little memory of such a possession."

"Well, we can discuss this later. Are you coming or not?" L stood quickly.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

Once they were at the hospital, Raito handed L the file he had put aside for the other and they made their way to Miki's room. On their way however, Takada stopped them.

"Hello, Raito-san. Law-san. I didn't know you had returned from your trip." She seemed rather displeased, and Raito's eyes flashed for a moment.

"You should call my sister more often then, Imai-san." L had to conceal a smirk as her face turned red. Raito continued. "Is there a reason you wish to speak with me? Does Emi need something?"

"N-no…"

"Then what? I do not have time for interruptions."

"Nothing then. I can speak with you-" her pager beeped, as did Raito's.

"We'll continue this later. L, you'll have to see Emi without me." He took off down the hall with Takada following.

**Emi's room**

"Hello Emi-chan."

Where have you been these past weeks? Do you have any idea of how boring it's been here?"

I can wager."

"No, Takada just gets annoying, and he's never around. Damn workaholic."

"I can see how that would become boring."

"If it wasn't for Sayu, I don't know how I'd survive."

"I think that might be a tad melodramatic."

"Yeah, sure. So where were you?"

"I returned home."

"Without telling Yagami-san." She smiled as he turned to face her. "He couldn't have hidden his emotions from me if he'd tried. Those weeks you were gone, he was a mess. He was working like crazy, sure, but he also was alone. It bothered him."

"I dislike receiving lectures. First from Miki-chan, then from Sayu, then from you as well. Is it not enough that I returned?"

"Don't think I don't talk to Miki-chan." L grimaced internally. _These women…_

"I know that you weren't planning on telling him you returned either. Now the question is why?" L blinked at her, he didn't really have much of an answer to that. Not one that wasn't a lie anyway.

Emi wished that sometimes she could keep her mouth shut as she watched the colors grow. L's colors looked confused. But it was strange, as if he had layers. It wasn't like her doctor, who had different scales, but it was still similar.

These colors weren't blended, but they were not separate from one another either. The underlying color was not something she'd seen before either. It was almost as if it was feeding off the outer layer, and it made her slightly queasy as she looked at it. She finally coughed, to force him into an answer, and almost sighed audibly as the outer color took control again.

"I had my reasons." She jumped on it, knowing a few more things, having spoken to Sayu as well as Miki.

"Had? As in past tense?" _Women. Only perceptive when they want to be_.

"Yes. As in 'past tense'." He clarified.

"And….why?"

"Like you don't know the answer to that as well."

"Perhaps…." She smiled. "But I'd like you to clarify it for me as well."

"Well there is nothing to confirm just yet." Her mouth fell.

"But Sayu said…."

"Just because we were given the opportunity, does not mean we rose to the occasion." He smiled at his own innuendo.

"But you're a man."

"That is a very sexist statement, Emi-chan."

"No, I believe you do have a Y-chromosome and are past the age of puberty." L nodded his head.

"I assume it will be safe to end this conversation now. Would you like to order some sweets from the cafeteria?"

"Yes."

**OR (Operating Room) **

It was chaos, total chaos. There were people everywhere, calling out for medications and doctors and treatments.

"Yagami-san! Imai-san! You're needed in room three! They've already started basic procedure!" Imai-ran down the hall

"How long have they been there?!"

"Ten minutes! Twenty tops! We paged Hikawa-san, but he didn't answer! Then we called your phone, before we realized you were in."

"Right! Raito ran down the hall as well. There was a young man, no older than twenty-five, covered in the trademark bruises and lacerations that normally covered an x-child. He was bleeding profusely from what he assumed was a stab wound, or something similar.

"What's his blood type!?"

"Working on it doctor!"

"What?!" he wanted to scream at these people! The man was dying on the table and they waited for him! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!"

"Fine! Find out now! Meanwhile bring me some plasma! What's he on for a sedative?"

"Formula twenty-three." Raito disliked that, considering he was allergic…not that it mattered right now.

"Anything else in the stream?"

"Not that we know of doctor."

"Fine, switch to formula seventeen after diluting it. Add a blood clotter." He cut the man's clothing, disgusted with the performance he was receiving. At least Takada was doing her job, keeping the others in line.

"You." He looked to a trainee. The gruff man turned to him. "Go get me a monitor. You should be able to carry it yourself." The man nodded and went away. Takada had also gone to get the blood for the man.

Suddenly the body convulsed. "Get me some counteracting agent! He's gone into anaphylactic shock! We need to neutralize formula twenty-three!"

"How do you know it's not the seventeen?" Raito turned to glare at the young man.

"I am the doctor here and I need an I-twenty-three! Are you one to argue with me?" he turned to a woman, who looked frightened. "I-twenty-three!" she fainted.

"God-damn!" he couldn't move away from the man, he needed to keep the flow to a minimum. The body convulsed again.

"Some x-children are allergic to the agents in twenty-three, so bring me some counteragent!" Imai returned.

"Thank god! Imai-san, come hold the pressure pints! You! Set up the bags, now!" he ran over, hands covered in blood for the counteragent.

**Emi's room**

L disliked nurses. They were always bothering you, thinking you wanted something when you didn't and when you did want something they were always slow to bring it. And, L though to himself, that his cake was smaller than a normal piece. Probably jealous of his friendship with their 'Raito-kun.' Not that he minded, a smaller piece of hospital cake was worth having a piece of proper cake that was actually made by said doctor when he got home.

But another thing L disliked about nurses, they gossiped. They were gossiping machines. He didn't think that news could travel as fast as it did in a hospital. Faster than worldwide streaming, mouths are. And he heard in not so hushed voices as they gossiped.

"Did you hear…"

"About Yagami-san…"

"The patient died on the table…"

"The first in almost a year…."

"There was an allergic reaction…"

"He had a number of trainees…"

"I heard a girl fainted!"

"He was covered in blood…" L had most certainly heard enough, he excused himself from Emi's room and went to go to the only place he figured that Raito would receive some peace. His office. He stepped into the elevator that he had been n a number of times before and quickly punched in the code for Raito's office.

He stepped out of the elevator. The brunette was staring at his wall, and didn't even notice the room's new occupant. He seemed to be very interested in his perfectly boring cream colored wallpaper, but L knew better. The doctor was mulling over what a mess of what had just happened, and what he could have done to prevent it. If I had done this… if this had happened…

"Raito-kun." L said quietly, as he came to stand behind the man. When he didn't respond, L placed a hand on the shoulder.

The man turned quickly to see who it was. "I told you, I have no interest- ah, L." he sighed. "I take it you heard what happened then." L nodded solemnly.

"I would like o know what happened, as facts not as what you could have done." The eyes blinked curiously.

"It was a mess. Hikawa-san did not show up, I had trainees, my judgment was questioned, and he. Went into asphyxiation."

"Now was that your fault?"

"If I had sent another out for blood type…"

"You cannot know what will always happen, Raito-kun. And it is not if you wished the young man to die."

"But what if I did?" L blinked.

"What if that's what I wanted? He was a criminal. A thief, I just got the news stream in. yesterday…" He stopped. L sat on the desk.

"Yesterday what?"

"You, the other one, called me Kira. Said I killed thousands and was repaying my crimes with this. He pointed to his coat. But he also said I would always be the same. Am I a murderer? Or do I save lives as a punishment? Or am I still one, wearing a kind face?" he paused. "What if that's all I'll ever be? A murderer?"

L was floored. Raito Yagami, a murderer? But if he thought about it…Amber had shown him flashes of eyes, eyes with a hint of madness, possessiveness, and…guilt. Light's eyes had practically screamed guilt. And his underlying reluctance…but he didn't want it to be true. Not at all.

"I have a list you know." L waited. "A list of all the ones I couldn't save. It just a small sheet of paper, but I have a number of names on it... I couldn't do anything…" his voice cracked."

"Do you seriously think that you could kill someone? With that intent?"

"No…but…" he was going to break, L could sense it. He pulled the man into a loose hug.

"It was not your fault, nor will anyone blame you for it." He felt them then, the silent tears for those people, his anxieties, fears, and regrets…the brunette was simply being human. L stoked the soft hair.

"You, Raito-kun, are human. And humans are entitled to make mistakes. Even one such as yourself." Raito said nothing, but L knew he was listening.

"Thank you." He said quietly as he pulled himself up.

"To err is human." The brunette smiled weakly. "Now will Raito-kun bring himself together, or will I have to bring him home?" he kissed the younger man softly.

"No, I should be getting back to work. He stood up and straitened his jacket. "We can talk later?" the voice still held a trace of pleading, of true emotion within it.

"Of course."

Detached: Can I tell you….how hard this chapter was to write? Seriously? I must have written and scrapped it at least three times. And I'm still not completely satisfied with it. Hell, I don't like it much. But…it's better than it was. So tell me what you think. Let's see…65 reviews would be nice…70 would be better… oh and I have a poll! I think… I don't own Death Note, nor do I own that quote I have in there, at last I think it's a quote. Forgive me…it's very late.

Random trivia time: the first VCR was made in 1956 and was the size of a piano. –Snapple # 180 (don't own that either)


	12. Chapter 12

**Detached:** Sorry, sorry! This took forever I know! For a number of reasons, but I won't bore you with those! So let's see…I give you story now! I'll bother you at the end! See you there! (Hopefully…)

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

"_Thank you." He said quietly as he pulled himself up._

"_To err is human." The brunette smiled weakly. "Now will Raito-kun bring himself together, or will I have to bring him home?" he kissed the younger man softly._

"_No, I should be getting back to work. He stood up and straightened his jacket. "We can talk later?" the voice still held a trace of pleading, of true emotion within it._

"_Of course."_

It had been almost a week since Raito had asked him that question, but it had not even been brought up again, never mind discussed. Raito had been busy with work, and L had had his own version of work to do. Paperwork.

L loathed the thought of paperwork, because it was incredibly boring and tedious. Especially if you were forging documents and falsifying records and so on. It was illegal, but in this world, it was necessary. And tedious. Especially because he knew so very little about these children. Breaking into legal houses was so boring, simply because L knew their intricacies rather well. It was the hospitals that were difficult, their password encoding system was not unified, and therefore much more of a challenge. L found some pleasure in that; it was more interesting that way.

He also hated creating the false personas, for things that would set off red flags otherwise. On his home system that he had more or less created from scratch, the results would be different, but….he didn't want to return. Not just yet, anyway. So he created fake people, cops who were looking for the records, worried mothers, older siblings who could now find and take care of the younger ones, people of that nature. All played by L of course. So the intricate details were sometimes a little difficult to work out, birthdays and such.

He would have enjoyed this, if he had not done the same thing many years ago, as he looked for human nature. Actually back then, he had been looking to see how parents and children acted and responded with one another. It was one of the ways he had determined how different the relationship with his mother had been, unquestioning and twisted. This was probably why he had never been able to truly relate to another. He had been able to understand their situations, and even see the parallelisms between theirs and his own, but he'd never really connected with another. Not before Raito.

Speaking of the brunette, where was he? L looked down at the clock on his computer. It was 21:18. Raito should have been home over an hour ago. L had already checked the hospital's database, no emergency had sprouted up for the doctor to take care of, nor had any of his patients gone into any sort of emergency.

Raito finally walked in almost an hour later, practically dragging himself into the house. L knew that something must have happened, but what? Did the brunette take over a normal medical procedure?

"Raito-kun?"

"Oh, hey L." he shrugged out of his jacket and tossed it on the couch, ignoring the coat rack.

"Would you care to tell me what happened?" he took his smock off as well, tossing it against the wall. L said nothing about it, merely registering the information in his head.

"Just a patient of mine, a new one. She came in while you were gone." L went through the list within his head, none of the patients actually had 'x-child' on their charts, and nothing had sounded too out of the ordinary, two procedures, one cardiac arrest, and a delivery.

"What happened?" Raito walked into the kitchen, grabbing leftovers and shoving them into the microwave. He tapped his foot impatiently, and blinked, the noise alerting him that he was still wearing his shoes, which he also took off as well. The microwave beeped and he sat down, grabbing a fork and a water bottle.

"Raito-kun?" this behavior was quite different for the brunette. He had never acted like this before, nor had he ever pointedly ignored him before. He watched silently as Raito continued to shovel food into his mouth, continuing to ignore the other.

Then the food fell onto his long sleeved shirt and he paused, staring at it for a few moments, as if deciding what to do with it. Then he pulled in over his head and violently threw it against the wall, shouting loudly.

"Goddamn it!" a number of other expletives followed.

"Raito." L said this calmly, and the brunette turned to face him, surprised.

"Tell me what happened." It was not a request.

"There was a girl. She gave birth to twins." L stared at him. "She's dead. There were…complications. It wasn't like last time," he corrected quickly. "It was nothing that could have been avoided. But the two of them…it was such an early delivery. I don't know how they will do…" he shook his head. "But I couldn't stay there anymore; the director came and told me to leave. I'm paying for their care, so that is not a problem…but…I'm not sure…"he turned to face L, eyes wide.

"You." L usually prided himself with being able to follow the brunette's train of thought, but even he was lost as he had listened to the doctor prattle on.

"Me?"

"Send them off into a program. Your school. Far away. They're identical. They can't stay here." The dark eyes widened. That explained a bit.

"Identical?" The doctor nodded, speaking hurriedly once again.

"They can't be moved yet, but…there's phone calls being made. Intercept them, she asked me to make sure they would be alright. I promised her that they would be safe."

"So what happened?"

"Her body couldn't take the strain of the both of them and she knew it. She refused to give them up."

"She gave up her life for them?" Raito nodded, distracted once again. He was now scrubbing the dishes furiously, as it they would disappear if they were scrubbed hard enough. L continued. "So some people would actually give up their life for their children. That sort of unconditional love exists, doesn't it?" the coffee colored eyes met his own.

"L?"

"It's hard for me to believe that people can love like that-a love without restrictions. Secrets. Boundaries. To see a parent love their children so much as to even give up her life for them is an amazement."

"In a way, I suppose it is. But they were hers, she would always say that. No matter what anyone said to her, they were _hers_, and she was going to _protect them_." L blinked.

L felt strange, as if he had plunged into a bucket of ice water, or as if a ghost had run itself through him. He disliked this feeling and wished to lose himself, even if it was within the boring, tedious paperwork. To see the chocolate eyes blazing at him was unnerving. He nodded his head slightly.

"I shall make the arrangements." He left the room.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

Several hours later, L had done just that, making the necessary arrangements. Breaking into the hospitals and record places was rather easy, he's been doing it all week, finding the records of the girl and her parents had been easy enough also, what had taken him time was his breaking into Raito's computer, to find her records, for Raito had gone to bed. It had been a welcome challenge as L searched for what he needed. He liked to have his fingers fly across the keys, clicking furiously, breaking codes, dodging security checks, cutting the internal wires that interconnected his system.

And what a beautiful system it was. Sleek and tasteful on the outside, yet complex and intriguing within. Much like the owner himself, L reflected.

But still, Raito's records had made his jaw clench in anger. Raito had already tracked down most of the information he'd needed. From the parents record, to her own, to the police reports. Things like this didn't settle well in L's stomach. But she had decided to keep her children anyway. L felt a sense of respect for this girl he would never meet.

After that, it had taken him a relatively short amount of time to alter the records to suit Watari, he had arranged for the older man to come in as the grandfather of the two. This was made easier because of the simple fact that the real grandfather was still alive; although he had disowned his daughter upon finding out she was a x-child. L shook it head in irony then, because the man would have had to have carried the gene himself if he was to pass it on. But certain traits were not noticeable on some x-children. In fact, for the majority of them, the traits weren't noticeable, even someone such as Raito-kun's ability, which was random and infrequent, could be hidden. It was the telltale ones, those with different colored eyes and hair that received the most attention.

Along with puberty. That was a major factor, which caused many powers to awaken along with the body's normal transformations; because most children merely thought that such things were part of the entire process. Which was the case for this girl, her eyes had changed color, and from what he could gather, some kind of telepathic ability had asserted itself within her. Not something that was easy to hide.

So she had been kicked out of her home, and was to live on the streets. The streets were not kind to children, L knew that, but he also knew that were even less kind to teenage women. So she had become pregnant, through no fault of her own, and carried them within her, for a short while, before giving her life for them. It was a selflessness that L did not fully understand, although he tried to.

He continued to work on another child from the orphanage, a younger boy whose past would be a bit more difficult to assemble, due to the fact that he had blond hair and blue eyes. L leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes for a moment.

"_Miranda." The small voice held a fear within it as she continued to speak. "I thought you weren't supposed to come home tonight."_

"_Ah, Shaddup! Can't I can be here if I wanna be?"_

"_Of course, but…"_

"_NO! I'm here and that's final! Did he return?" there was a silence that chilled the boy to his bones, even if he was covered in blankets as he hid._

"_Lawli?" she cried out, a question, a plea. "Lawli? Where are you?" the boy bit his lip, knowing that even if that was his name, she wasn't looking for him. It hurt him; hurt his heart that she never called for him like that._

_She had quieted, and for a moment, the boy hoped that she had gone to bed, and the disaster had simply passed over. Instead the voice renewed with double the intensity._

"_He's not coming back is he?!" she was screeching at the other now, and he cringed deeper into his little defense. "He's never coming back is he?! Not to me, or to you! He left us…left me…with that thing…Where are you?!" she called suddenly. "Come here!"_

_The boy sighed, snuggling into the blanket for a moment more, before pulling himself up out the pile. He looked over his shoulder and gave a slight smile to the one standing beside him._

"_You'll stay right?" the face smiled, and nodded. "Good." He purposefully walked into the room, knowing full well that he was in trouble._

"_There you are? Where have you been!" he blinked, trying not to flinch._

"_I was getting ready for bed Mommy."_

"_I don't want to hear any backtalk from you!" she lifted her hand, and this time, he did flinch. She slipped it into his hair and ruffled it slightly. _

"_Just be good…" he nodded, smiling. _Mommy isn't mad at me!_ His mind shouted happily. He turned to smile at his friend and Marie, but winced when the grip tightened._

"_Who are you looking at?!" she pulled him up by his hair, his small hands clutching at hers in futility._

"_M-Marie!" he yelled out, his eyes shifting slightly to the other who watched helplessly. He couldn't look down; because that was bad…it would be spinning… _

"_Liar! You were looking for someone who isn't there! Who'll never be there! Something that doesn't even exist!" she shook him again, his vision blurred._

"_Mommy! Stop! Please! It hurts!"_

"_Yes, pain hurts. Why? Because it's real, unlike your 'friends' who aren't." the tears started to fall then, from the pain, and from the denial of his only friend. Marie was in the background, a swimming blob. He wanted her to help, but Mommy hated that. He still had bruises from the last time. She shook him again._

"_Tell me! Tell me they aren't real!" He looked over to his friend, and closed his eyes shaking his head. He couldn't lie, not to Mommy or him. "You're a liar!" She shouted hysterically. "A demon child!"_

"_No, no Mommy! I'm not bad, I promise!" He cried out, snapping his eyes open, tears pouring down. "I'm not a liar!" she shook him harder and half pulled, half dragged the small body into the kitchen._

"_Why…why couldn't you be good? Why are you…? Never mind, he's gone now." She threw him onto the counter, his back hitting the wall with a resounding 'thud'. She pulled out a knife and he backed up further._

"_No! No! Mommy! Stop it!"_

_SLAP. __Then pain. Stinging red pain. _

"_Shut up!" she grabbed the arm and dragged me toward her. The knife glinted threateningly as it neared closer to the pale skin. A flah as the knife flew across his skin, and everything blanked for a moment._

_Then the blood rose up, leaking out of the opening. She sliced once more deeper, and this time he screamed out against the feeling. She, now satisfied, tossed the knife aside and pulled him down, letting him fall to the floor. For a brief moment, he though it was over, but that was quickly extinguished as he was pulled up again, his feet scraping the floor._

"_Look at you! My little liar! My little monster! It's your fault that he's gone now! Yours! All yours…" she was crying too now, and slumped against the wall._

"_I'm sorry…I'm sorry Mommy…I'll be good…"_

"_No!" she screeched, "I don't know who you are! I don't have a son! You're not mine! No son of mine! You don't even…look like him! How could you possibly be mine!?" she shook her head as she stood up again, clutching him tighter. "Still…you made him leave! Your fault! Did you want me to be unhappy?"_

"_NO, no Mommy! Never!"_

"_Liar! You deserve…to disappear! She dragged him over to the door and Marie followed, pulling her back._

"_Stop this!" she cried, "Please Miranda!" she dropped the small body then, watching it tumble down the stairs._

_The pain was immense, his body hitting the stairs, before jumping up, only to hit it again moments later. He couldn't move, couldn't do anything but let it happen. Something cracked, but he was too busy falling to care, or even know, what had._

_Then it was over, all of it was over with a sick 'thud', when his body hit the landing wall. Then the pain flooded him, invaded his senses, coiling around him, and he whimpered in pain. He was like a rag doll, tossed aside and forgotten. _

_He heard footsteps and a pleading voice, and then it was quiet, blissfully quiet. He spoke softly to himself, silently tears falling._

"_I'm sorry…so sorry…" there was warmth then, and he looked up. His friend was watching him with sad eyes, slowly running the invisible hand over his hair, but it felt warm, not cold. He looked up to the other._

"_It hurts." He nodded silently, watching the boy. _

_He coughed; his vision was blurring. "You won't leave me, will you?" he shook his head, smiling down sadly at the other. "You'll be here when I wake up?" he nodded, as if he was urging the boy to sleep. Slowly the eyes closed._

"_Don't leave me…"_

L woke up suddenly, in a heap on his floor. He curled himself up, still within the dregs of the dream, that horrible dream. He suddenly became aware that he was shivering, and he forced himself to stand.

It was not easy, his legs were refusing to cooperate with him, and it seemed as if he couldn't get enough air into his lungs.

"Damn it!" he shouted as he gripped his desk to pull himself up. He was cold, so cold. He needed to take a shower, now.

He realized as he finally pulled himself into the bathroom, that he would not be able to take a shower, because he needed to stand in order to do that. So he ran, the water as hot as it could go, he needed to feel something, anything. He stepped in, clothing and all, before letting himself sink under the water.

It was warm. So wonderfully, exquisitely, deliciously, **warm.** It felt good, so good. He switched the water off as he started to think aloud. Such thoughts were impossible to keep with his mind. When he said them aloud, they sounded less real, more objective. They were less haunting that way.

"Why? After so long, why? Why that dream? That specific memory? Such a thing proves that I was right…that I am still affected but…I thought…damn it!" he slapped his arms down, sending water everywhere, but right now, he didn't care.

"Why?! Why after all this time…why does it still-still have so much power? Control?" he climbed out of the bath, dripping wet. But he didn't care, not at this moment. He saw himself within the mirror; saw his white shirt plastered to his body, his marking clearly visible. He spun around and his eyes met an identical pair. They were frightened and afraid, and he hated them.

Before he knew it, the mirror had shattered, millions of pieces of glass raining down, and his hand throbbed dully, but it didn't matter, as long as the image, the memories didn't stare at him in the face. He hissed in pain, but it helped ground him back into the reality that he so desperately needed.

"L? What happen-" he looked around the bathroom, seeing the pieces of mirror and the blood trailing from a soaking wet L. his mouth fell open.

L continued to talk, unknowing of the other presence in the room. He saw himself, there were so many, so many pairs of the eyes, so he closed his own, because then they would disappear.

"Why? Goddamn it why?! You left me! Abandoned me!" his hand closed around a large piece of the glass, slicing his hand. "Why do you still insist on doing this…?" he threw it behind him, smiling as he heard it shatter. He reached for another, when a hand stopped him.

"Don't." he opened his eyes, looking for the voice.

"Why? Why should I?" he locked eyes with the brunette. The concern in the eyes made him sick. He turned his head. "Go away."

"It's my bathroom. Now tell me what you were doing."

He turned to face the brunette again, but refused to look him in the eyes.

"They needed to disappear." He said this as he gestured to the pieces of mirror around him. He said this calmly as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Raito stared at the man before him blankly, waiting for the other to elaborate. He didn't. Then the smell of blood made him look at the hand. Even if he was dumbfounded mentally at the detective's behavior, he still had a doctor's instinct within him clamoring to fix the damaged hand. He reached his hand out.

"Give me your hand." L pulled his hand away from the other, almost cringing.

"No."

"What? I'm just going to patch it up." The eyes met his own, flashing in pain and…fear? He had never actually seen L be afraid of anything before. Then they hardened as he watched, becoming strikingly similar to a pair of eyes he'd seen not to long ago. "L…?" he whispered.

"Leave."

"I won't."

"Of course not. You're stubborn."

"Only as stubborn as you."

"Touché. You always were stubborn, though."

"So you are…"

"The other L? Yes. Actually you can call me Lawliet." he nodded, wary.

"So will you let me bandage your hand?" he looked down at it, as if noticing it for the first time. He pulled the hand up, staring at it intently, watching the blood trail downward and fall in droplets. It was as if mesmerized by the sight. Then he pulled his gaze away from his hand to look back at the other.

"I suppose you should…" he proffered the hand. Raito stepped carefully to pull out the kit and walked out of the bathroom. L-no Lawliet followed. He stared at the hand for a moment before starting upon it.

"Can you tell me what caused that?"

"I can." When he didn't offer more, the doctor sighed.

"Will you tell me?" he pulled a piece of glass out, causing the other to wince.

"He had a dream." Raito sighed as he pulled out another bottle to disinfect the wound. "When I woke up…I woke…those up as well. Which is actually your fault, because you woke me up in the first place."

"So…what now?"

"He'll relive them for a while. They may eventually cycle like yours do, but there's one difference." Lawliet paused before continuing, "He'll remember to the last detail of what happened. Every mark, every scar, every word, every look, everything, down to the very last detail. The feeling of her hand in his hair, the knife slicing across his body, the smack as his body hit the wall. Everything." Raito shuddered; the look the other was giving him as he delivered these vivid descriptions was blank. Indifferent. Like he didn't even care.

"Don't you care about him?" the other blinked.

"Oh I do, don't you worry about that. But there are things worse than physical pain, believe me." He looked down at the hand, which was now being wrapped. The eyes met Raito's, and for the first time, they held emotion. There was a sadness within the dark eyes that made Raito feel as if he was being crushed.

"There are things that are far worse than physical pain." Raito swallowed, he had a lump in his throat. He released the hand and the other pulled it back. He examined the hand for several moments before nodding.

"I am afraid I have to go now. I took over the body unwillingly, but I did not wish for anymore self injury. It would probably be within your best interest to stay away from him."

"Will he be alright?"

"I hope so, for his sake, I hope so." The body slumped then, Raito barely catching the other as Lawliet left, or went to sleep, however L had put it. He pulled the body closer attempting to lift it. A couple minutes later L was changed and sleeping peacefully on his bed. Raito turned around, wanting to clean up the mess, but…he looked back. he gave a slight smile.

"I can clean in the morning." He decided as he climbed back into his bed pulling the body close.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

L woke with a start and looked around, frantic. He winced and looked at his hand. Yesterday flooded back and he closed his eyes. He'd dreamed of that time…and then…then…he sat up, pulling he covers off of him.

"You shouldn't move." A pair of arms wrapped around his middle, pulling him back. "You hurt yourself yesterday." He remained silent for another moment before adding, "In more ways than one I was told."

"So he woke up again?" he felt the warm breath against his neck as the other whispered his response. "What did he tell you?"

"Some things I desperately hope aren't true." His fingers trailed along the pale arm, inching the shirt upwards and revealing the scars that trailed upward.

"Then they probably are true, Raito-kun."

"I know." There was a silence before L started to speak again.

"Yesterday? That girl? The one who passed away? Raito nodded, as L continued. "I read about her. It is a regret that I shall never have the chance to meet her. But she gave her life for her children. That is parental love then, to sacrifice oneself for your child." He paused before he spoke again, more slowly this time.

"It should not be the other way around, forcing the child to sacrifice itself for the parent. To do whatever the parent asks, without question, is not love, but an ugly and twisted relationship. A child unconditionally loves its parent up until a certain age. But those two, her children, they will always love their mother, because she gave everything she was, her very existence for them. And that is beautiful." L felt the arms tighten around him then.

"Please L, tell me. About her, about you." L just remained in the embrace, letting the warmth seep into his very core. L felt strange, for the first time, he willingly wanted to share what had happened to him with another. Others knew the general idea, but this…felt different. When he spoke, his voice didn't even sound like himself, it sounded like another voice entirely.

"I am… I do not…know where to begin." Raito seemed fazed by this comment. L suspected the brunette wouldn't have even pushed the issue had he refused; he had probably been expecting a refusal. Yet he recovered quickly and spoke in a soothing voice, relaxing the other.

"I was told that the beginning is always a good place to start." L's grip tightened and said nothing for several minutes, if Raito hadn't known better; he would have said the detective had fallen asleep. Finally L let out a small cough, as if announcing a speech.

"My mother… was from rich family. A family with a number of enemies. She was kidnapped when she was quite young, and abandoned in a small village when they received the ransom money. The town had no orphanage, so when the older woman who had taken care of her passed away, there was none to care for her. Finally, she was taken in to become a maid in what was to be my father's employ. There were few children in the manor, and she quickly became friends with my aunt, three years her junior. That was how they met, through my aunt."

"My father was rarely home, having been going to school at that time, he was at least ten years older than my mother. But he was an enigma, which drew many women in. My mother was no exception. When his father died, he left the house, taking his sister, and my mother with him. They traveled the country then, the happiest time my mother had ever known, or so she told me. They settled in France, I think a few years later." L tapped his fingers along Raito arm, as if trying to figure something out.

"I am not certain as to when I was conceived, or as to what age exactly my mother was when she gave birth to me, but I believe she was seventeen, or was extremely close to being that age. And it was happy for a while. Then one day he was gone…no note, no argument, nothing. He was just…gone. Again, I am not sure as to the date exactly, because I do not have many memories of the man." He looked up at the ceiling, pulling the memories forward.

"I know that my father did not love my mother, but he cared for both her and his sister, and the way he looked at me…was soft. It was not as if I was a burden, or a nuisance. After he was gone, something changed, something broke." He coughed.

"And that was my mother. She slowly went crazy, expecting my father to return. Yet he didn't. She worked more, opting to stay away from me, who she blamed for the whole thing in the first place. But she spent money unwisely, so Marie had to find jobs as well often leaving me alone. But I never really was alone. I had my friends."

"But there were times when…she'd take her anger out on me. My mother was not a nice drunk. And, as a child I took he punishment, believing it was truly my fault. Yet it was not so bad. She came home infrequently, and as I said, I had a number of friends. They would always hang around, giving me the support I needed. But I couldn't hear them. Back then, I could only see them, so I didn't know what they were exactly, but I knew, knew that they were real."

"After I told her about her grandmother, she became worse. She was forced to acknowledge that I was seeing…something. So she took me places. To see if it was true. I think…that she was afraid….afraid that I would eventually end up seeing my father. So we left the house she wanted me to get rid of my ability." He shuddered in the embrace.

"The first place we went to was a circus. My mother fell for a scam from the ringleader, believing that if I used my power often enough, it would be exhausted. He convinced her that I had a set amount of power, so we traveled with them. I would tell people about their loved ones, what they looked like and so forth, and in return, they would give him money."

"It was disgusting, how I developed my ability, but one day, I could hear them, and I realized what was actually happening. That these people had died, and all I had been doing was giving people false hope. Yet there were others trying to shut him down."

"Eventually they succeeded, and my mother took me away again. After that…there were several others. they burned me, beat me, poured pointless concoctions onto me, sealed me, trapped me, anything you can imagine, and several things you probably can't…we spent almost a year with another man, a crazy one. He was convinced that I had a devil with me and he wanted to seal an angel within me to negate its power. This eventually resulted in what I have now." L became silent, simply feeling another heartbeat along with is own, another's warmth. There was more, much more, but that was enough. For now, it was enough. Raito seemed to understand that as well, tightening his grip slightly as he started to speak.

"He said…that you…remember everything." L took in a breath before going to speak again.

"That's right." he stated back. "Every kick, every punch, every bruise, every scar…" his voice cracked as it continued. "…every smell, every smile, everything. The way they looked as they peered into my face, those who knew what I was but said nothing, those who truly believed I was cursed, and those who didn't care either way, as long as they had the bills in their hands. Every song Marie would sing, trying to comfort me, every time my mother would call out for my father using my name, everything. I'm not allowed to forget, am I?" he asked the other quietly. "I won't be allowed to let these memories fade, will I?" he drew in a shaky breath.

"What did I do? If I truly have a separate entity within myself, and if I am being punished for something, what could I possibly have done? What could I have done in order to receive such a punishment? I wonder what I must have done if you were supposedly a mass murderer and were simply forced to become a doctor." The arms released him, and L spun around, to see what was wrong. The other was staring at him intently. But there was one difference, the eyes were crying. A stream of silent tears fell from the beautiful eyes.

"You did nothing wrong." The brunette whispered, reaching his hand to stroke the ebony colored hair. "The only thing you are guilty of is…saving me. You chose to save me."

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

**Detached:**dun dun dun….so like? Hate? This chapter was…difficult, but not like last time. This chapter decided it was going to be a pain from the start. Anything I wanted didn't happen, anything I didn't want…you get the idea yes? I wanted Sayu, and it laughed in my face. "Sayu? Hah!" I wanted L to read up on little children…and girl died. I wanted them to finally…and…what? Noooo…Nevermind… so like I said, this chapter more or less wrote itself.

Also I tried replying to you guys! Try being the key word there…if it didn't work I might just make comments each chapter…I don't know. I am currently writing what I hope will become two long (separate) oneshots. They've pretty much hijacked one of my notebooks. Caged failure is probably what's coming up next because my teacher is still not finished with Loose Pages.

**L:** You forget something….

**Detached: **Oh right! Snapple trivia! A duck cannot walk without bobbing its head. (Fact-122)

**L: **That is not to which I was referring…

**Detached:** What then?

**L:** One word: Disclaimer

**Raito:** That was three.

**L:** For your flippant comment, you shall now give the disclaimer.

**Raito:** Why should I?

**L**: Because I'll leave you do commentary yourself from now on otherwise.

**Raito:** Fine…Detached does not own us, or Snapple or any other affiliated companies.

**Detached:** Until next time! Now do you see that button beneath this….you will press it…

**L**: Your failed attempt at hypnotism is amusing.

**Detached:** shut up…

**Raito**: Ta Ta for now!

**L&Detached:** Exchange horrified glances before shutting down computer.


	13. Chapter 13

**Detached:** Sorry this took so long folks. So… here.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

"_What did I do? If I truly have a separate entity within myself, and if I am being punished for something, what could I possibly have done? What could I have done in order to receive such a punishment? I wonder what I must have done if you were supposedly a mass murderer and were simply forced to become a doctor." The arms released him, and L spun around, to see what was wrong. The other was staring at him intently. But there was one difference, the eyes were crying. A stream of silent tears fell from the beautiful eyes._

"_You did nothing wrong." The brunette whispered, reaching his hand to stroke the ebony colored hair. "The only thing you are guilty of is…saving me. You chose to save me."_

L looked into the eyes, clearly confused. "What?" The other repeated himself.

"You chose to save me." The tears fell silently, and L was mesmerized for a moment. Only Raito would be one of those people who looked good crying, only having small trails of water trailing down his face, no redness, no sniffling. Only Raito. L forced himself to speak.

"Raito-kun…" the other shook his head.

"Then…" he paused, thinking. "Light-kun?" the other nodded briefly before turning away.

"I don't understand. What do you mean?"

"We were destined to spend an eternity in nothingness, and you saved us from that."

"I still don't-"

"No, listen. Your punishment for saving us was the life you've had to live, while we had to repay an equal price as to what we took." He paused for a moment. "Yet your punishment for saving us was far worse than our own had we been allowed out of Mu."

"But why?"

"I can't answer that either. You died before we did. You made your deal long before we made our own." That was not to which L was referring, but for now he would let it be. He had other questions he needed answered first.

"Do you know what, no who we were exactly?"

"We were…many things. We were first and foremost enemies, although we were equal as such, and our thoughts were on par were with one another. That's all we really were I suppose, even after our relationship escalated beyond…verbal arguments." The face became slightly tinted as he said this. L blinked.

"Are you trying to tell me that we were physically intimate? I already knew as much from Amber's actions. I didn't know that we were enemies though, perhaps you would care to elaborate?"

"We, Amber and I, we were…Kira, as you've been told. And you….you were…L, the one that took him… that took us, down."

"The original L died before he could accomplish that task."

"No, you arranged it for your successors that way. In the end you were still the one to defeat us."

"And only Near was left behind." He nodded once.

"That wasn't supposed to happen. They were all supposed to die, in case of our death or not. I'd had to suffer the isolation for too long to want to force another experience the same."

"So then you did not wish him to be alone." The boy looked at him before giving another, more hesitant nod. L continued.

"So therefore you still had a piece of your humanity, or occasional pieces of it. I do not believe that Kira would be one prone to mercy, not intentionally."

"Yes, he wanted them all dead because they were against him, just as you had been."

"Yet Amber said that you two were one entity by the end."

"And we were. I was merely a prisoner of my own mind for the longest time, but suddenly, he started to listen, and we became one body, and a single mind. We killed together, and stained our hands together…" he paused for a moment. "But there were times that both of us would have the same goal, and different reasons behind it, such as the deaths of the boys."

"But what could have triggered that merge? From what you have said, this wasn't a slow process. Why would he suddenly listen to you?"

The boy looked stunned, and when he started to speak, he appeared stunned too. "I don't know…" he choked out hoarsely. "There was something…an event…important…." He paused again, running his fingers through his hair, digging for the memory.

"I can't remember." he finally stated. It's just…not there. Fayte must have it, but I don't remember giving up the memory either."

This was getting L nowhere. Every time he thought he was going to get answers, he just became more confused then before. And confusing a genius was one of the more stupid things to do in this world. L's patience was running out and his tack was practically nonexistent.

"So did we love one another? Is that why Amber is constantly trying to fuck me, and is that why Raito-kun says he loves me now?"

Light stared at L for several moments, before shaking his head in disbelief. When he started to speak, even he sounded unsure of himself, which was not making anything clearer for the detective.

"No, no we couldn't have. We were simply trying to outdo each other, to best one another, in our own little world. There was a clash of intellect, and lust, but love? No, I don't believe that. We were far too enraptured with our game to feel anything else, too caught up for anything beyond a physical battle on top of our constant psychological one. Besides, we would never have been able to put aside our prides to say such a thing to our opposite, even if it did exist."

Despite the fact that it seemed to L as if the boy was trying to convince himself otherwise, he gave a small ironic smile.

"I do find it difficult to imagine Kira saying such a thing as 'I love you' to what the considered to be an equal." He let the smile fall. "So how would one explain Raito-kun then?" L still couldn't believe that Raito could really care for someone such as him.

"He does mean what he says, he does care about you. It is different now. You chose to save us and we chose to find you."

"Why?"

"Because we wished to find out why you chose to save us."

"No, I mean why? Why did I apparently "save you" even at such a great cost to myself? I don't understand, what-"

"I don't know." He interrupted, "Even now, I can't understand why you would do such a thing. You told us that you thought I was worth saving. That I was worth it. But I'm not, L. We're not. We were-are nothing, nothing more than a murderer. We killed you. We killed you! Don't you see?" The eyes glanced down, at his hands, staring at them intently. "We did so much…destroyed so many things…we aren't worth this! You didn't deserve that punishment! We aren't worth it!"

He was still staring at his hands, and away from L. L spoke quietly and quickly, saying what was within his head almost the second it arrived there, as if he needed to say it.

"I cannot believe that. If my other self truly said that you were worth saving, then it must have been true. There is no reason he would have done so otherwise." Light shook his head but said nothing. Then L spoke again.

"I do not know just what kind of a deal I made with Fayte, and even if I did know, it would still not change my life up until this point. My scars will not fade, and my memories will remain, even if I do not wish them to." He pulled the tanned hands into his own, looking down at them carefully.

"And neither will yours. Neither of us is completely innocent. Not then, and not now either."

"But you should have been. You deserved it." L gripped the hands tighter.

"I made a choice, whether I recall it or not, I still made one. And I shall deal with its consequences. He looked back at the beautiful hands, his Raito's hands.

"A blank canvas is perfect, untainted and untouched. Yet those are not treasured even half as much as those that are." He brought the hands to his lips and kissed them softly.

"If you deserve such a thing, then what about myself? No matter what your intentions might have been, it is different now. Do my scars make me ugly? Is such a canvas destroyed?"

"No, no. L, you could never be ugly, not even with your scars. I've seen them the way the boy does, and they are beautiful, as if you are nothing more than a transient being yourself."

"Then am I not allowed to view you the same way?" the eyes widened, registering the meaning of his words. He turned his head away, looking down as he answered in an unsteady voice.

"You may view me any way you wish." L said nothing, waiting for the face to face him once again. When it did, he leaned in closer, whispering carefully.

"Then I shall." L captured the lips with his own, pressing into them deeply.

L felt the same stiffness, the same hesitant action as he had long ago, during their first kiss, and he was about to pull away when he felt the lips respond.

It was hesitant, and unsure; it was as if he was expecting L to change his mind at any moment, expecting L to push him away. In response, L pulled him even closer.

It didn't feel desperate, like Amber's kisses had, nor did it feel warm, like Raito's had. If L had to give it a feeling, it would have been needy. Light obviously craved this sort of contact, but was too afraid to initiate it himself. He was still afraid, and was he was the consciousness holding Raito back, even if the young man didn't know it.

L pulled away, but didn't loosen his grip. The body tensed, and L was given the impression of a rabbit. In a way, it was actually kind of interesting to see such a look upon the face he knew so well. Raito would have never made such a face.

"Why do you keep holding back? I know that even after everything, even after our conversation, that you still don't believe that you deserve anything, and that your own consciousness is subconsciously holding Raito-kun back as well."

"It doesn't matter. When he makes up his mind, he'll do what he wants anyway."

"You are making very little sense." Light said nothing, trying to pull away from L's grasp. It was a halfhearted attempt, but it surprised L nonetheless, who then pulled the body even closer.

"Don't."

"Why not?" L whispered.

"I'm not Raito."

"But you used to be." Light tried to pull away again. "Why do you try to pull away? I am not going to hurt you."

"I know that."

"Do you?" he gave the lips another quick kiss, and felt him relax.

"Now was that so difficult?" the head came to rest on his shoulder, and the shining eyes closed.

"Sleep." L said quietly. "Sleep well."

--

L woke first, opening his eyes against the brightness of the sun. Then he realized he was warm. He looked around, remembering that he was in Raito's room.

He scowled remembering yesterday. Every time he thought he had something figured out, there would be another wrench thrown into the works. Not to mention that Light still believed that he didn't deserve any sort of treatment outside of his intended punishment. Even after yesterday's conversation. They were both to stubborn for their own good. And he had… kissed the boy.

Not something he's been planning to do, granted, but he couldn't help remembering how it felt. Or how the other ones had felt.

Each facet of the brunette kissed differently, and all with the same mouth. It was an interesting idea to wrap his head around. Amber wanted L's body; that was fairly obvious. Light wanted to be in nothingness, which was fairly confusing, and Raito said he loved L, yet they hadn't done much at all, which was also fairly confusing. Then again, L had never been loved before, so he wasn't quite sure of what it entailed.

Then the warmth at his side moved, and Raito wrapped around him, curling up against him like a cat. The head came to rest on his chest, and for the life of him, L couldn't find a reason to push the man off. L had watched the brunette sleep before, but watching someone sleep and actually feeling them sleep were different things.

Raito didn't look like a murderer, or a once murderer, or much of anything really except beautiful when he slept, the hair in front of his face fluttering with each breath he took. L had never enjoyed any sort of closeness, but he admitted, even if it was only to himself, that he didn't mind this as terribly as he thought he would.

L had slept with others before, he wasn't a human anomaly. But he'd never hung around after release, and he'd most certainly never just slept in a bed with another. This was…nice he decided.

Then of course, he had to be interrupted.

"Ooh, look at you two! I wonder if you used to look like that before too?!" he looked up to see one of the last things he would have wanted to see at this moment, a spirit.

And not just any spirit either. Sayu.

"Hello Sayu. Care to explain why you're here?" he kept his voice low, not wanting to wake the sleeping man beside him.

"And here I thought I was doing you a favor. Well, actually, I'd probably be annoyed myself, there was this one time when…" she started to trail off, and L had to bring her back.

"Your reasons for being here?"

"Right, right. I went to see Fayte again, and she said that you two are still idiots."

"Anything else?"

"She also said that she has the memory you're looking for. It looks like this." She pulled out a green tinged glass vial, in the shape of a rather slender and pointed hourglass. It also had a dark emerald cord hanging from the top, swinging the vial around slowly.

"This isn't yours, it's empty, but she has a whole room full of these. And they break open too, when a payment is received. "

"What is this payment?"

"She says you'll both know. It's a shared memory apparently. Oh and this took a lot of trips to her place and a number of deeds to find this out, but she says that you've already paid for half of it."

"And what did that mean?"

"I don't know, she kicked me out after that. But I'll go bother her later." L nodded, thinking. What could that possibly mean? Was it because Raito had two personalities and he only had one? Or was it something else? He had the pieces now, or at least a majority of them, and now he had to put them together.

"Thank you," he said softly, as Sayu disappeared.

He let himself remain in the embrace Raito had, the brunette still sleeping peacefully on his shoulder. L let himself sink back into the warmth, letting his eyes droop. He thought to himself as he felt his eyes closed. This would be the third time he'd fallen asleep within two days. That was unheard of, even to him. But he wasn't fighting the urge particularly hard either…

"Ooh! Look at you two!" his eyes snapped open and he shifted up. Only the pair of them would interrupt him within several minutes of one another.

"Good morning Sayu-chan. Any particular reason you are here this early in the morning?"

"I came here for my blue skirt; I'm going out with my friends tonight. Girls' night out!"

"And the reason that you need to pick up your clothing this early on the morning….?" L asked, the logic of the situation escaping him.

"I need to make sure that it matches the top I want to wear!" Well that most certainly made perfect sense then. He felt the body stir beside him, there was only so much of such a voice one could actually sleep though.

The chocolate colored eyes opened lazily and settled onto his own.

"G'morning," he said sleepily. "I thought I heard…" a squeal come from the door way. The eyes furrowed. "I did hear."

"That is correct Raito-kun." The face turned to his sister.

"Why are you in my room?"

"I wanted to ask if you knew where my beaded blue bracelet was."

"Of course." He said sarcastically, as if that was the most obvious thing in the world. Then, being the meticulously clean older brother that he was, answered her. "Little white jewelry box I gave you for your birthday. Now leave. I'm tired."

"I bet you are." She said in a sing-song voice. Raito blinked a few times as if not fully comprehending her words.

"What? Of course I'd be tired, I haven't had more then three hours sleep at a time in three days…" he thought to himself, wondering just why his sister never allowed him a normal sleep. Why couldn't he be allowed a normal sleep in general?

He looked at L again, this time somewhat coherently. He was still in his bed. Then he looked down at himself, who was shirtless. He thought briefly at the luck that he'd put L into a shirt the day before, because he didn't think L would have appreciated his sister's reaction if his marking had been visible. Then his eyes narrowed even further at her implication. His voice became louder as he responded.

"God Sayu! Don't be an idiot! We're still clothed for goodness sake!" Raito climbed out of bed, showing that he was at least partially dressed, and Sayu's grin fell somewhat, but it didn't completely disappear either. L knew that Raito could really be loud without his caffeine, and also got out of the bed as he decided to remedy one problem.

"Would you like some coffee Raito-kun?" the shouting match stopped momentarily as he nodded appreciatively. Then he turned back to his sister.

L could hear them down the hall as he walked into the kitchen. He set the coffeepot on, and then walked into the bathroom.

It was a mess.

There were mirror shards everywhere, and there were clear signs of blood, his blood, as his hand reminded him by throbbing painfully. The bathtub was still full, and the counter had been cleared onto the floor, he had most likely done that as well. He stepped inside the room, closing the door quickly, before unplugging the drain. Then he closed the door and locked it. He grabbed the key, putting it into his pocket. To hell with what Sayu would think if she couldn't open the door, but she couldn't see that.

He walked back into the kitchen, and started in on the cake that was in the fridge. The match was still continuing, but Raito seemed to have had enough of his sister's goading and walked down the hall. L passed him over a cup of coffee, and went to make one for Sayu as well.

"Don't bother." Raito said firmly, upon seeing the pink mug. "She's leaving." He then proceeded to take a large sip of his own coffee.

"Aww, Onii-chan," she pouted, "Why can't I stick around?"

"Because you're unwanted." He took another gulp. "And frankly, I don't want to listen about your girls' night out."

"Oh that's right I gotta tell-"

"No one. You will tell no one."

"But I thought there wasn't anything to tell." The sing-song voice was back.

"There isn't. But I know you, and because I know you, I know that you will exaggerate into the next century, and I cannot afford that, with what is currently happening at work. And neither can L."

"Fine, fine, you win. For now."

"Thank you." Raito's voice level had finally lowered somewhat, now that he was on his second cup of coffee.

"But I'm curious, why were you there in the first place?" she was speaking to L now. L held up his hand.

"I injured myself. Rather badly I might add. And the medicine that Raito gave me knocked me out more quickly than anticipated. He allowed me to stay to make sure that I had no adverse effects." She seemed to accept this explanation grudgingly, but then again, L had never lied to her before. He didn't want to either, but he couldn't explain the real situation either.

"Now can you please leave? I still have work to do." the brunette grumbled.

"But I thought you weren't working today."

"Not officially, no. I'm not getting paid, but I still need to make a number of phone calls and appointments, as well as clean the house."

"Onii-chan, you're so….boring."

"One of us has to be."

"Well then, you're an idiot!" she stuck out her tongue and stormed off. Raito poured himself a third cup of coffee.

"You think she would know better than to displease you this early in the morning by now." L said, watching her stomp down the hall.

"She doesn't." he took another gulp.

--

After breakfast, L went add the final touches to the transfer papers for the twins and Raito went to clean the bathroom. L had offered to help, but Raito had declined, telling him to focus on the paperwork.

But once the brunette got started, it was like trying to stop a steamroller. L had never watched the brunette clean meticulously before, and to be honest, with the way the vacuum cleaner sounded, he didn't want to either. In fact L almost hadn't heard Raito's phone over all the noise.

When he did, he merely tugged the cord out of the socket, and called for the brunette, who started with a counterattack, but a simple, 'phone's ringing' stopped him in his tracks. He picked up the phone and immediately scowled.

"No. I will not go to see him. He comes to visit on my days off on purpose." There was a pause. "No I do not care how important of a reporter he is. If he wants a story so bad he can talk to doctor Hikawa." Another pause, this time with surprise flashing though the eyes, giving them a hazel hue.

"What do you mean…? No I haven't…what? Is he kidding? I'm pretty sure the whole world knows that my father doesn't like my career choice, so the only thing it'll do for him is make it harder for him to see his murder scenes." Another pause.

"What? Are you certain?" he sighed. "Why do you even let him in the building at this point? Fine I'll come in." he snapped his phone shut.

"I can't ever have a peaceful morning can I?"

"What was that about?"

"A reporter that borders on the edge of psychotic stalker. He's convinced that I am the story of the year in one way or another, and the problem is, he's probably right. I dislike talking to the man immensely. The birth of the identical twins gave him a legitimate reason to bother me." He grabbed his jacket.

"You know what the problem is? He's a pompous ass, and I shouldn't be going in."

"Then don't."

"It's not that simple. I'm in a delicate situation as it is."

"Then I shall go along." To L's surprise, Raito did not argue the point, he merely nodded. This reporter must have been a real insistent pain.

They stepped out the door minutes later, walking toward the closest platform.

--

Almost as soon as they stepped inside the building the man identified himself. L was again slightly surprised at the simple fact that Raito drew such attention. This was in fact, quite a famous reporter.

Taylor.

L had heard the catchphrase, "Need a story? We'll Taylor to your needs every time!" to personally dislike the man already, not to mention what Raito had just told him.

Raito commanded silence, giving a fierce look that made him stop speaking for a moment, but it wasn't out of fear, it was out of anticipation, his pen at the ready.

"We shall go into my office." He kept the words simple and his tone clear. He nodded excitedly, and the woman behind him picked up her bag.

Once the four of them were in the elevator, the man seemed to realize that L was coming along with them.

"Who's this?" L thought for a moment, before responding. If he said Kingsley, there would be trouble; it was still too soon after such a prominent funeral, even over here. The man probably already knew the name he used here anyway.

"Law." That seemed to satisfy him and he turned back to Raito. "So how do you know one another?"

"We met several months ago. He had injured his ankle. Does this have anything to do with what you are here to discuss?"

The door opened and they stepped out, Raito opening the door to his office. Raito was not going to bring him into the office with the elevator; that was just asking him to do it himself.

"So why is he here then?"

"An acquaintance of ours is going to be released today, and he shall be traveling with her. Now please continue your original interview. I have other appointments today."

"Right, right. So about these twins…they are identical x-children right?" Raito nodded once. "So what is your stance on them?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you think they are too powerful to be left alive?"

"What?" Raito blinked, not comprehending. "Alive…no…you're not serious." He blinked again. "Yes they deserve to live. They are innocent."

"But for how long?"

"Not all x-children are criminals."

"I know that, but a majority of them…"

"Are treated poorly due to the simple fact that they are different. They grow up warped, tainted and in broken families. Of course they would become twisted."

"So you still support them, then? X-children, I mean?"

"Of course."

"So I believe that the verdict is that they are going to live with their estranged grandfather?" Raito nodded. The man continued. "Several wealthy benefactors are quite discouraged by this. Did you play any part in this?"

"I did not contact any member of the family, nor did I request for anyone to do so."

"So it was luck then. Chance? Coincidence?"

"If that is what you believe in, then yes."

"You know, you seem to have a string of unexpected lucky events behind you…" Raito's face took on an almost bored look.

"Do I now? If my mind serves me correctly, haven't we discussed these 'supposed' events a number of times?"

"It never hurts to go over them again." The doctor sighed.

"Very well. How is Halley doing?" he looked to the woman behind the reporter.

"She's still the same."

"That is tragic. You do know there are those that can help-"

"I refuse to go to one of those hacks who use powers they don't comprehend. Besides, this way, she's useful. There is nothing to worry about." L blinked useful? Who would describe a human being as useful? Unless…she wasn't one. Well, not according to the man in front of him anyway.

"So when you were fourteen, you had to acquire service hours for the high school you attended." Raito gave a nod, he was clearly bored to L. "And that was where you first began to really encounter x-children right?"

"That was when I began to speak with them."

"Right. In particular, an albino, known as Miki. Do you still have contact with her?"

"I correspond with her occasionally."

"Her power is being able to 'read' or 'sense' another right?"

"That is how the power is phrased in literal definition." Raito looked utterly bored, but the man didn't seem deterred, not in the slightest. He actually seemed more annoyed that he had to wait for Raito's answers than at the responses themselves.

"And shortly after you found out what she really was, you still visited her."

"Of course."

"And then you became ill." Raito merely nodded, bored of giving answers once again. The other didn't seem to mind, continuing, asking questions slightly faster now.

"Then the first incident happened, the one involving the bus. You sprinted to the bus, and then simply decided to help out an older woman instead."

"That is how the event played out."

"And, as luck would have it, that bus was hijacked." Raito nodded once again, but his eyes were glancing at the man expectantly now, there was an apprehension within them. This excitement must not have been his norm.

"Then several weeks later, you were out with a number of school acquaintances, and several of you became interested in an injured cat. A drunk driver hit those who remained. Again, luck."

"Then shortly before your fifteenth birthday, you became ill again. Your mother missed several days of work, avoiding a deadly machine malfunction."

"You always seem to forget that my sister was ill as well."

"Then, roughly six months later, you happened to have a conversation with your mother about gun control, reminding her to remind your father to reload his gun, for he had cleaned it the night before. That day at work, one of them attacked. He would have died had it not been for your mother's reminder. More luck."

"And later…"

"I must remind you that when I applied to my colleges, that there were number of riots that were happening—"

"No, no. Shortly after you turned sixteen, you met another x-child. One by the name of Fuji." Shock passed through his eyes, giving them the familiar hazel hue. This was almost certainly not part of the normal interview. Yet he quickly masked the emotion as he started to speak.

"Fuji…huh. It has been a while since I have heard that name…"

"It took quite a bit of digging; I'll have you know, to find out who he was. He was the same age as yourself, and from what I could gather, mute."

"Forcibly so."

"How is that?"

"His tongue was removed because he could read people's minds." The reporter actually blinked for a moment before scribbling furiously.

"But you spent a good amount of time with him."

"I did."

"Why?"

"He needed company."

"So he was a permanent resident of the nearby building for those that need constant care. Why is that?"

"He had a heart condition. Not too serious, he just had daily medication, but if he had been living alone-" Taylor cut him off, obviously not caring about what Raito had to say.

"And then shortly before your seventeenth birthday, there was an outing, one sponsored by the hospital, and you went on some sort of hike, correct?" he continued not even bothering to wait for Raito's answer. "And then you were attacked, an escaped murderer had hidden himself and attacked the group. Together your group was able to subdue him, but not without injury." He flipped though his notebook.

"There were three injured and one fatality…Fuji."

"Yes. It was tragic."

"He saved you." Raito nodded once.

"He saved everyone."

"So who did you not mention him to me?"

"His memory should not be tainted by a reporter. Especially one who dislikes x-children, one who would disregard his own fiancé, merely calling her a tool after she lost her memory."

"Like you have any right to say anything! You used him too, let him save you, and then let him die in your arms!" L felt a sharp pain shoot through his chest, and suddenly he felt a bubbling anger, rise up and clench his throat, he wanted to scream, he wanted to fight, attack the source of the pain, but he didn't know where it was coming from. He wanted to lash out at someone, and something, but he stood still, not used to such a feeling. L had been angry before, but this blinding rage…frightened him.

Another pain shot through him, just as intense, but in a different way. It was as if he suddenly couldn't breathe, as if there was a hand around his heart. It was like a million needles piercing thought him, and that still didn't begin to describe the hurt that was coursing through him. It was crushing, overbearing, cold. He felt cold, betrayed. He wanted to cry out, but his mouth was too dry to do so. His vision blurred, and he swayed slightly.

He forced himself to look up, to focus on those eyes he knew so well, anything to dull the pain in his chest. Raito looked clearly disturbed and angry as well.

"I did no such thing. It was a tragic accident and-" L fell forward, his hand slipping off the desk that had been supporting him as the ground rushed up to meet him. But he didn't hit the ground; instead he felt a tug as his shirt was pulled up roughly by another.

"You okay?" L swayed again on his feet.

"He obviously isn't." Raito's voice was slightly louder; he stepped closer to look at L. He pulled L to him, looking quickly at the pair of them. "We can finish his later, now leave."

"But what about-"

"He will be fine. Leave. Now." His voice left no room for consideration. The reporter looked like he wanted to say something, but he thought the better of it. He stepped out the room, girl in tow.

He held onto L for a moment, before weak hands went to push him away.

"I'm fine." He gripped the desk as Raito released his grip. But no matter what he was telling himself, his body was telling him something different, new waves of pain coursing though him even few moments. He pitched forward again, this time, Raito catching him before he hit the ground.

Despite the fact that he was cold, the embrace felt undeniably warm. Raito hands his body was warm, even though his wasn't. He looked up, his vision swimming, searching for the eyes that he knew so well. They looked down on him, and he felt another wave of the violent anger claim him.

Then he saw the concern that radiated from those eyes. The rage dissipated, and was replaced by the crushing feeling of before, the betrayal, the loneliness. It was painful, too painful. He opened his mouth, forcing out hoarse words that were not his own.

"I knew that you didn't love me."

Then his world went black.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

**Detached: **Yes! Yes!! YES!! Finally, finally done! Hope it was worth the wait! -doing victory dance- next chapter will be out fairly quickly. What will happen? Sorry it took so long. All I have to somewhat blame is One: crazy teachers with end of year stuff (not really an excuse considering school ended almost two weeks ago) and Two: crazy weather. I couldn't keep anything up without mu computer dying. And then I had to fight the evil database to steal bits and pieces back. Poor Loretta…has problems. About a dozen and a half of them. Which I will work on before your chapter comes. But I have more time on the computer now! Oh and Halley? Not an OC. She's a female FBI agent that was killed by Kira. Got into an argument with a friend about the agents. He said there were no female, so I went a-digging. Okay done. Don't own Death Note.


	14. Chapter 14

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

**Detached**: O-kay then! We're gonna rewind a few minutes back, give Raito's take on L. So please bear with me.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

Raito had been surprised when Fuji was mentioned, but knowing this man, it wasn't all that surprising. He would have been dragged up out if his memories sooner or later.

The boy had been a companion for a while, he supposed the relationship would have been friends, but it was simply the company they had both needed.

It wasn't that the boy couldn't speak whatsoever; he knew how to communicate in other ways, it was that he didn't want to. Neither had Raito. It was as simple as that.

"_So who did you not mention him to me?"_

"_His memory should not be tainted by a reporter."_

Raito didn't want the memory tainted, this much was true, but it was also that he wasn't sure what to call Fuji. He wasn't sure what the boy had been to him. So he decided to go one step further in his response.

"_Especially one who dislikes x-children, one who would disregard his own fiancé, merely calling her a tool after she lost her memory."_

He glanced over at L, who seemed to be listening intently. Fuji wasn't like L, that was for certain. Raito wanted to be around L, he liked to be around the other, and even then, sometimes that wasn't enough. He liked to touch the other, he liked to kiss the other, and if it had been possible, he'd still be in bed sleeping peacefully, not minding if L was there next to him. But that wasn't the case.

"_Like you have any right to say anything! You used him too, let him save you, and then let him die in your arms!"_ the response from Taylor was more violent than Raito had expected; he must have struck a cord. It seemed to have struck something within L as well, for his eyes blazed furiously for a moment, and his grip on the desk tightened considerably.

And then, just as suddenly, the eyes glazed over with hurt, the brunette couldn't even be certain of the anger that he had seen moments before.

And then L swayed.

It took every fiber in his being not to rush over to the dark haired man, to stay where he was and continue a now not only boring, but absolutely pointless conversation.

L's hand slipped, and he leaned forward, as if in slow motion. Raito stepped closer, but Taylor merely reached out and hauled the other up, as if he was a doll and not a person, angering the brunette considerably, forcing him to bite his tongue at the rough treatment.

"_You okay?"_ he asked, L swaying again. Raito couldn't keep his mouth shut this time.

"_He obviously isn't."_ he pulled L to him, which didn't really do anything for the male, but it made the brunette feel better at least. He glanced at them, suddenly angry. _"We can finish this later, now leave."_

"_But what about-"_

"_He will be fine."_ Raito didn't actually know if this was true, but this was certainly a psychological effect, probably due to something that had been said, like their conversation in the kitchen had been. But somehow, he had a feeling that this was worse, far worse.

Besides, the last thing that L needed was for the hospital staff to see what the shirt covered. Still he kept his voice as level as he could keep it, ordering the pair to leave, which they did.

He then pulled L even closer, but L wasn't having it, insisting that he was fine, which was painfully untrue.

Then he fell forward again, and this time, he did not hold himself back, catching the man and pulling him into an embrace. L's eyes searched for his own again.

And again, Raito saw the anger flash though them, the unbridled rage. And again, it was gone just as quickly as it had come, only having the pain and hurt shine through the eyes. It was a cold look, a hurt look, one that struck the brunette to the core. Those eyes…

The mouth opened distracting him momentarily, and he leaned closer to listen.

"_I knew that you didn't love me."_

And then the body went limp in his arms.

For a second, for several painful, heart wrenching seconds, Raito thought L was dead. It was improbable, but his mind didn't seem to care. It screamed out at him that he was dead, that something was terribly wrong. It weighed him down, making him want to cry out, and the only thing that prevented him from doing so was the simple fact that his vocal cords did not seem to be working. His hands shook as he reached for the other, searching for a pulse.

Searching for a pulse. It was a simple task, something grade school children could do, and it was something that came to him almost as easily as breathing. Yet at this moment, it took everything he had to even steady his fingers to do so. Instead they ghosted over the other, as if afraid to touch the pale body.

He finally felt the faint thrum of blood under his fingertips that signaled a pulse.

If he had been standing, he would have collapsed. But still, still he was afraid, still inexplicably fearful. His fingers trailed upward, placing his hand over the other's heart, which continued to beat steadily beneath his touch, both it and its owner unaware of the shock that he had just been through. He never wanted to feel like that again.

He never wanted to see L like this again.

He couldn't, for the life of him, even imagine why he was acting like this. Why this image frightened him so.

And then it hit him.

He was, undeniably, improbably, and completely head over feet for the detective.

He had said he loved him, and he had meant it. But this…he had not realized what those words had really meant. Had truly meant. This fear, this grip the other had on him, they were all part of the same emotion, the same feeling.

He let the breath escape his lungs, feeling a startling and rather strange urge to cry. He looked away, noticing that his hand had yet to pull away from the steady heartbeat.

He was alive, and that was enough for now. He smiled slightly, both in relief and the fact of how absurd he was acting. But that's what love was wasn't it? Irrational. He loved his sister, but this was such a feeling magnified beyond his comprehension.

But just as quickly as the smile had come, it was gone. L's faint words come back to him in a rush. _"I knew that you didn't love me."_ Immediately his head swarmed with questions. What had the detective meant by that? Why wouldn't he have meant what he had said? It didn't seem as if it had been Lawliet speaking, but he couldn't be sure. But that was later. First L had to wake up, and for now, he pushed those thoughts aside.

--

He didn't know how long he had been sitting in his office, nor did he really care. He hadn't done anything except watch he unconscious detective. He had laid him on the floor, propping the dark haired head up with his folded labcoat. He had also made a reminder to himself to get some proper furniture into his office. Something with practicality. Perhaps a couch. Then others would have something nice to sit in when he brought them into his office.

The reason he was thinking so desperately about upholstery was that he was trying not to think of the man in his lap. His earlier words were circling him, wrapping around him, constricting him. As hard as he tried to push them aside, they refused to disappear, as if taunting him. So anything was better than to think of those words. Anything. Even upholstery.

When the detective finally stirred he smiled in relief.

"Hey L." the man blinked groggily, still transitioning from the state of unconsciousness that he'd been in.

"Hello, Raito-kun. What am I doing on the floor?"

"You fainted L." he said simply, before asking, more hesitantly, "Do you remember?"

L looked up, thinking, not about the recent past, but about how tense the brunette looked. Almost frightened even. So he'd fainted…he closed his eyes for a moment thinking.

'There was Taylor…and he mentioned someone…Fuji…and Raito-kun's eyes….and then…'

"_Like you have any right to say anything! You used him too, let him save you, and then let him die in your arms!"_

L's grip suddenly tightened on the other male, making him suppress a wince from its intensity as he remembered the pain. The physical pain too, but there was something else, something that was far more crushing that he couldn't even begin to understand. No it wasn't that he couldn't understand; it was simply that he didn't want to understand.

There were flashes of something, colors, shapes, sounds, _memory._ Somehow he had synched with the other, his other self, who had then forced him to see…

"Oh god." he whispered, blinking rapidly.

"What?"

"You." he breathed, looking up at the other. "Him, me…us…" his grip tightened again as he was assaulted once more with the memory. He shifted, the pain was absolutely heart wrenching, tearing him apart from the inside. He closed his eyes, trying to rid himself of the memory, of the feeling, but it was there, as if it was imprinted onto his eyelids. He couldn't escape it, escape the feeling. "No…" it was a whisper, a plea, anything to stop the pain. He felt the other gasp in pain, and he felt the blood. His nails had broken skin. But it didn't matter; nothing mattered except for this pain.

Raito didn't know how to react. When it came to L, he often didn't. L was in pain, that was obvious, but he didn't know how to stop it, or lessen it. This was physical pain, it wasn't even really emotional. Lawliet was making him see something. The nails tightened even further, digging into his forearm, and he felt his skin give way and hissed in pain. But this was physical, temporary. Whatever L was feeling, whatever _they_ were feeling wasn't.

"_**But there are things worse than physical pain, believe me… There are things that are far worse than physical pain."**_

"L…L…" he whispered back to the other, trying to bring him out of his revere. L was starting at him, but he was seeing someone else again, no, not someone else, who he used to be. He opened his mouth again, voice hoarse and dry. "L…I'm here." His own hands went and tightened around L's arms as he repeated himself. "I'm right here."

L blinked again, looking upward at the other. His breathing was shallow, his eyesight drifting in and out of focus, as he tried to will away his pain. He saw worry in those ever changing eyes, and that, more than anything, helped him push the memory back. It still hurt, but the pain was duller now, less somehow, and that was good. His grip relaxed and he let his head fall back once again, eyes never leaving the other.

Raito smiled as he saw L's eyes focus onto him, and he released his own grip on the detective.

"Hey L, are you alright?"

L realized that his head was propped up slightly by what he could only imagine to be Raito's labcoat; because the doctor was suspiciously without one. He wondered at just how long he'd been out, and just how long Raito had been waiting, worried.

"I think I will be just fine." He wasn't sure as to how true that statement was, but he wanted to believe it to be true.

"Can you stand?" L slowly sat up, supporting himself with his elbows, before sitting up completely. He was suddenly dizzy again, and his hands were digging into the carpet, desperately trying to prevent him from swooning.

"Don't rush it." Raito whispered quietly and L turned his head, looking at the other.

"Somehow my other…showed me a memory." Raito gave a quick nod. "I don't know if it's due to my power or not, but I must have synched with him in some way…and he showed me something. Again, I'm not sure as to what it was exactly, but it…it hurt." Raito nodded again, hands on L's shoulders.

"Don't rush it." He repeated again, in a slower tone, "Don't." L nodded, focusing on standing once again, which much to his displeasure, the brunette had to help him with.

When he was standing once again, he decided to speak.

"So that interview-"

"Not now." Raito said quickly, too quickly for L's taste. As much as L wanted to know however, he said nothing further about it, instead stretching his arms, trying to release some of the tension in his back from lying on a completely flat surface.

"Do you want any help?"

"Not at the moment, no." L said quietly, still trying to figure out exactly what he had been shown. It had been blurry, and he had not been able to see what he had been shown exactly. It was more the feeling within it than anything else. He tensed again, the memory sweeping through him once more, and more pain coursed through him.

Suddenly the room seemed too small, too constricting for L. he had never been one to be claustrophobic, but right now, he needed to get out of this room. He needed to escape the memory.

"Let's go."

"What?" the brunette asked in confusion as L hurriedly walked over to the elevator.

"Let's go." he said again, more firmly.

"Why?" Raito questioned as he grabbed his jacket, preparing to follow the detective.

"Let's go." L said once again, and his eyes shifted nervously, almost as if the man himself was not sure as to what he was asking, but Raito merely nodded, slipping his jacket on and following the other out of the hospital.

--

Fifteen minutes later, they were riding the platform and Raito still had no idea as to where they were going. And L seemed not to want to speak either, content to stare at the slowed scenery that was outside their window.

To be honest, the detective didn't know where he was going either, but as the platform slowed, he stepped off and looked around. Out of all the countries that he had visited, his exploration of Japan had been minimal, due largely in part to the doctor standing behind him.

Then L realized with a horror, exactly where he was. '_For someone who hates his past,'_ he thought to himself, '_I sure have a way of putting my nose right back into it.'_

Well as long as they were here, he decided that he might as well look around. He remembered there being a number of signs the last time he had been here…his eyes lit up as he saw one. Then he started to walk with a purposeful stride, leaving the brunette to follow him.

Roughly thirty minutes later, another segment of time where no words were exchanged between them, L stepped up to a booth and passed over the correct amount of money for two tickets, which he then walked though the security scanners, stepping into the park.

Raito looked around, taking in the surroundings. He knew where he was, but he did not understand exactly why they were here. When he saw the questioning glance, L merely smiled.

"I have been to a number of these, and I never tire of them." He ran his hand through his unruly hair. "They prove to me again and again that animals have survived hundred, thousands and even millions of years, and that as humans, we are capable of the same thing."

Raito smiled suddenly, understanding. L started to walk, and he merely followed once again.

"There are so many species, so much variety among living things." he looked up at the map before walking to a rather large setup of several small lakes, which had a number of species living among them. "There is no abnormal interaction between species here. This is how they would interact among the wild." He sat down on the grass staring at the creatures gliding along the surface.

It was a while before he spoke again, and when he did, t was in a slow, unhurried voice. "Places like this allow me to think. I watch them-" he gestured toward the lake, and the creatures within it, "-and I see all of these different species, I watch them all react and live harmoniously with one another and I wonder-" he looked back to the brunette, "-I wonder why humans and x-children cannot do the same." He paused turning back to the lake, speaking with a quieter tone. "I still don't have an answer."

Raito sat down beside him. "Neither do I."

They lapsed into silence, L absently watching the lake before them. Raito had been to this place before, with Sayu. But that trip had a different feel to it, more rushed. It had been a trip to see as many animals as possible, not a trip to relax.

This however, was relaxing. He felt himself loosen up as he also watched the scene before him, letting his thoughts drift. He could see why his companion enjoyed these places. He lay back, and looked up, watching the clouds pass, slowly drifting away. He couldn't remember the last time he had done something so…so unproductive. It was a nice feeling, he decided to himself. L's voice pulled him out of his trance.

"I've been thinking, Raito-kun." he stated calmly.

"Yes?" Raito questioned, pulling his eyes away from the slowly changing scene before him to look at another one, to look at L.

"I've been thinking," he said again, "about us, and about who we used to be." Raito was silent, waiting for him to expand.

"What was you favorite animal as a child?" Raito blinked, he had not been expecting that. L saw and asked another question.

"Did you even have one?" he looked back up at the sky, contemplating his answer.

"I didn't have a specific animal I suppose, but I always thought birds were interesting. They can fly, something that human will never be able to do, and symbolize a freedom that humans do not have."

"But are they free really? Or is the sky just another cage, a bigger one, trapping them as the ground and gravity trap us?"

"I've never thought of it that way, L. Even if I had, I don't think I would know such an answer."

"I do not know myself, but I also thought birds were the most fascinating creatures, not only because they could fly, but because of their mating habits. Birds, more than any other creature, will partner with the same other again. Others will mate for life, something that rarely happens in mammalian habitats and in humans even less." He paused turning back to the lake, Raito's eyes following.

"Those are my favorite," he whispered. "The black swan. When compared to its white counterpart, it is often seen as evil. Black and white. Opposites. Good and evil. These are notions, ideas that humans have created, but in the end, nothing is ever truly black and white is it?" he pointed toward the group of them. Raito looked at one that was preening itself, revealing perfectly white feathers beneath the black. L smiled as he continued to speak.

"Like most swans, they also mate for life, and if one should die, they will usually spend the remainder of their life alone. They have been tested, raised alone to see if this still will happen. Those that bond successfully ignore any other suitors, as if it's in their blood." He became silent for several more moments.

"Something that is also not known is that, on occasion, these birds will also form homosexual pairings with one another. Lifelong as well, merely allowing a female within their presence until she gives them eggs. They will then raise the nest, which always has a greater survival rate than a heterosexual pairing. This also happens in scientific conditions, even if females are present. It is as if they know who their mate is; as if their soul knows…" he pauses, "who their other half is."

There was silence then, no noise except the sounds of the nature around them, as L looked skyward once again.

"Do you think human souls are paired the same way?" he asked finally, looking to his companion. "Do you think that human souls only have one match among the existing billions?"

"I…I don't know." He admitted, "I think…no I would like to believe that. It is a very interesting sentiment. But I don't think that is something that we will ever know." He turned to stare at the black eyes, as if he was searching for something. "All I know…is that I love you. Only you."

L felt as if his heart was being squeezed again, like the pain from earlier, but it wasn't as sharp, nor was it as painful. He blinked, willing away the pain. He felt the other's hand in his hair, and it brought him back to reality.

"Just now, I was thinking as well, thinking about your question earlier, and about Fuji." He paused, knowing that he had L's full attention.

"I have never mentioned him because, to be honest, I had never known what he had meant to me exactly. I knew that he cared about me in a different way than I cared about him, but I didn't understand then. I had needed his company, and he had needed mine. If I had to give the relationship we had a name, I suppose the best term would be friends."

"But…in a way, he reminded me of myself. We didn't look the same, nor did we act the same, but still, he did. He had been me at one point; we had been exactly the same; a good family, a decent life, a secure future. But he was one of the unlucky ones. His power was too frequent, too sudden, and his words were unrestrained, especially if there was physical contact involved. It broke his family apart, and then he lived with his mother and they were attacked. She died; he lost his speech, and was left alone."

"Fuji was me. He was what I would have become had I not been able to hide my ability. I do not doubt that. The fact that I am the son of a police officer would not have saved me. The ability to see the future is one of the things man is most afraid of, only eclipsed by the abilities that involve seeing the inside of a mind a controlling it. If I had been found out, I would have become another Fuji; that much I am sure of. So I suppose that I was being selfish when I gave him company…"

"He wouldn't have saved you then, would he? Whatever you're starting intentions may have been, eventually you came to appreciate his presence, and it was no longer pity. I do not believe that he was sad to have died for you."

"But I could have saved him. I hadn't understood then, but that was the first time I had received a vision that had not been directed at myself or at someone directly related to me."

"If he cared about you the way you thought he did, then I think he would have rather died a number of times than watch you die even once. If he felt as you think he did, then he would have reacted instantly, thinking of nothing else." They lapsed into silence once again, L facing the lake, and Raito staring up at the other.

L looked ethereal, transient. The setting sun, shone across his pale face, giving his shirt blazing colored hues and making his soft hair shine radiantly, reflecting the fading daylight. It belonged somewhere for eternity, captured within a painting, away from sharp voices and jealous eyes, away from evil manipulators and indiscriminate haters. He reached his hand up again, catching the other's attention.

"Thank you." he said softly, running his fingers through the hair once again. L merely stared down, looking confused for a few moments, before opening his mouth to respond.

"Kiss me." Raito's mind reeled, not understanding, but his body reacted, leaning itself upward to meet the face that came closer.

Their lips met, and he was lost in bliss. It was just a simple touching, just a physical connection, but it was no different than their first kiss had been, in the kitchen all those eons ago. It was warm and tentative, yet the feeling was pointedly there. He closed his eyes letting the feel of it consume him.

When they parted, he opened his eyes and let L's own search him. L was still unsure, and he knew that, but there was little more that Raito could do. he could shower the other with 'I love yous' but L still had to adjust to those words; he knew that the other winced every time he said them, but he couldn't not say them either. Instead he asked something else.

"What do you want?"

"Show me that you mean those words."

"Gladly." He leaned up to kiss the other again, this time with more feeling, more emotion, and unlike the previous kiss, this contact wasn't enough. He deepened it adding more feeling more emotion, letting it travel throughout his body, filling it with a different kind of warmth, a needier kind. When they parted, the pale face was flushed and he couldn't help but smile.

He breathed into L's ear, making the other let out a surprised gasp. He toyed with it for several seconds before moving his mouth further down, nuzzling the soft skin along the pale neck. He could feel the sounds, the groans that L was holding back, and it was making him…want more.

"Raito-kun." L said weakly, trying to push the brunette away.

"What?" he practically growled down at the other.

"As…stimulating as this activity is, we are still in a public place. A secluded one, true but…" he was stopped as the lips covered his own once again, and he returned it, wanting to disregard his own advice.

They kissed for several more seconds, several more glorious seconds before L pulled away, letting the tanned arm slide away from his neck.

Raito sat up quickly, grasping the other hand within his own, before standing. He remembered holding this same hand like this long ago, and this time, he did not wish to let go.

L followed him silently, letting the brunette pull him along the streets. They were receiving looks, mainly due to his appearance, and the fact that Raito had still not let go of his hand, seemingly ignoring any other look directed their way. He stopped in front of a building, and suddenly L felt like a teenager that had snuck away for a secret sexual encounter.

"L." he stated quickly, as if this would make asking the question any easier, "Sayu's night out means alcohol, which means she'll crash at my place, and-" the words trailed off, but L understood the meaning anyway, after all, Raito probably had never had to say such a thing before.

"I want you too." Raito suddenly started to laugh, his face lighting up as the pressure released, calming both of them. He nodded, and they stepped inside.

Raito bought their key, and they took the elevator, the brunette still smiling to himself. When they were inside their room, L turned to him.

"What did you find so amusing?"

"I was just appreciating your tact once again."

"Raito-kun seems to appreciate my tact." L repeated back, giving the other a glance. "Unfortunately Raito-kun has too many manners. But there are other things I can appreciate…" Raito smiled as the hands pulled at his shirt, bringing him closer.

"No more interruptions." He whispered seductively into the ear before gently taking the lobe between his teeth, satisfied at hearing the gasp escape the detective's mouth.

"Let's hope not." He whispered back, turning the face to his once again, and placing his lips over the other, tasting the mouth.

"For someone that dislikes sweets so, you taste remarkably like one." hands ran through his hair, sending pleasant shivers down his spine.

"Well, for someone that dislikes sweets as much as I do, it is a wonder that I enjoy the way you taste." His hands slipped from the hair, trailing down L's back, tracing nonsensical patterns as he did so.

"Well I think Raito-kun is talking too much." L said as he pushed the other toward the bed, Raito's arms wrapping around him as he fell, gravity pulling him down as well.

"That wasn't very nice." Raito stated seriously, rubbing his chest where it had collided with a bony elbow.

"Did I ever say it was my intention to be so?" L stated, meeting the look with his own, watching the eyes soften and a small laugh escape the brunette. L leaned up, swallowing the noise, slipping his tongue inside, as if he would take the laughter for his own.

Raito stilled as L's mouth was upon his again, dominating. He matched it, allowing his tongue to move along with the others in a heated dance.

This kiss wasn't nice, or teasing. It was fire, a clash of heat and lust, one that left both wanting and panting for more. When they separated, Raito's eyes were hazed with want, staring up at L.

His hands had finally slipped underneath the white shirt, trailing along given patterns this time, causing L to shiver at the contact, both from the stimulation and the fact that Raito was the only person that had willingly touched him like that, knowing what was lying beneath the nimble fingers.

L's own fingers had gone to the crisp shirt, deftly undoing the buttons as their mouths connected once again. When he was finished he delved his hands inside, roaming the tanned chest, smiling into the kiss as he felt the brunette gasp. His mouth moved to the neck, teasing it with light airy brushes of breath, making Raito tense slightly beneath him.

The simple touches were arousing the brunette quickly, faster than he could believe. How could such things feel so _good?_ Perhaps it was the heat of the pale mouth over his skin. Or perhaps it was the detective's smooth, long, elegant fingers with their tantalizing brushes to his skin. Either way, Raito was incredibly hard and his attention was focused only on what the detective did next. He had even temporarily forgotten of his original intent of removing the white shirt.

L wasn't unaffected either. No lover had ever…allowed sounds so willingly. The heavy breathing, the shifts, the slight moans…it was inexplicable. L wanted more, more noises, more reactions. His tongue ran along the neck, and he felt the muscle shift beneath it. Such simple reactions, yet his body was becoming harder nonetheless. He wanted even more…

The bite was sudden, and unexpected, but it was not entirely unpleasant. As L gave a second bite, this time harder, he actually moaned, the sense of pain mingling with the pleasure that was now coursing though him, pulling him out of the haze that he had fallen into, and his fingers started to tug on the garment above him. His lips found the other's again, kissing with force.

L actually felt the moan as well as heard it, causing whatever free blood that remained in his system travel southward. He leaned forward, taking the lips for his own once again.

And then, he was staring at the ceiling, looking up into chocolate colored eyes. Undeterred, he leaned up for another kiss, and the hands at his sides became more insistent, tugging his shirt upwards. He lifted his arms, allowing the other to remove the garment.

Once tossed aside, he placed his arms around the neck once more, and arched his hips, hissing at the friction. Raito must have been surprised as well, automatically bringing his own hips downward for more. L arched up again as the brunette pulled back, his legs grasping the slim hips as he did so.

Raito's chest tightened painfully as all the breath escaped from his lungs as L settled back on top of him. He winced slightly as he realized what the other had done.

"You- you-"

"Flipped you. Yes." The mouth descended upon his neck, breathing heavily upon the recent markings, making his mind start to cloud over, his anger dissipating.

"Vertically."

"We needed to be in the center of the bed anyway." The other huffed, but made no further protest as L's hands went to work on his belt. His own fingers threaded through the pant loops in L's jeans, pulling their hips together once more, wanting the previous friction.

L's eyes roamed the beautiful body beneath his as he grinded their hips together. When he heard a small whimper, he stood corrected. It was then that the rest of his free blood traveled southward. He dropped his head down, licking skin, wishing to hear even more. His mouth attached itself to a nipple, and the brunette groaned beneath him, arching his back into the sensation.

L wanted to tease, how he wanted to, it had been far too long since he had slept with another, but the sounds that the delectable brunette was making beneath him were too much, but he didn't wish to rush the experience either. L knew that Raito had no experience with men, and wished to make the encounter as a whole as painless as possible.

"You understand the mechanics of this?" he asked seriously, undoing the pant button.

"Yes."

"Do you know how to perform them?" Raito pulled the older male down for another kiss, letting him control the action. L knew that Raito didn't talk much, not when it came to really important things, especially emotional ones. So this kiss spoke more than Raito could have, and by giving him the control, especially when the man himself was not well-versed in the subject topic, meant more than a thousand words could have. L gave a nod. "Very well."

He leaned over backwards, bracing himself with one arm as the other reached over to the bedside table, grabbing the bottle of lotion before leaning over the brunette once again. The eyes were hazel again, staring at him with confusion.

"You do know what this is for, correct?" perhaps Raito knew even less than he had assumed...

"Of course I do. What I didn't know was you could bend like that." L gave a small smile as he understood.

"Raito-kun shall have to test my flexibility at another time." He ground his hips downward again, watching the face change from awe into want, and he eased the dark dress pants off, under which Raito was wearing an equal shade of colored boxers. L bit back a comment and instead wrapped his hand around the clothed erection, watching the look of pleasure cross the face as he did so.

He pumped him slowly, denying the other the desired friction, until impatient hands reminded him that waiting would be near impossible. He released the other, quickly slipping out of his own clothing and then helped the brunette slip out of the remainder of his.

He looked over at the body beneath him, lightly licking his lips in want. The brunette was beautiful. He was lightly muscled and is body relaxed and tensed and arched perfectly. He kissed him hungrily, pressing their naked bodies together, swallowing the gasp that the other made as he did so.

When they parted, L's hands were tracing the hips, slowly traveling down to the thighs and back up again. He knew how to do this, had done so, but not with someone like this man before him. He knew how to proceed, but…

"It will be easiest if we both face the same direction." To his relief, the brunette shook his head.

"No." he stated, his hand filtering though the ebony hair again. "Not this time." L smiled, knowing that again the brunette was saying more with his actions than words. L didn't have an aversion to that method, but he would have much rather seen Raito's face.

"Very well." He let his lips find the others again as his hands worked on opening the lotion. He coated his fingers generously, and let them slowly circle the entrance as his other hand went back to teasing the erection. Raito tensed for a moment but relaxed softly as L's kiss became softer.

The finger slid in easily, and aside from feeling rather strange, there was no pain. L slowly slid in a second digit and began to stretch the other. It wasn't comfortable, but it wasn't pleasurable either.

Then L slid in another. He winced, now it was painful.

"Relax," L said quietly as his other hand continued to stoke him. "Please relax, Raito." the fact that his name had been so softly spoken, and without its honorific, more than anything else, drew him away form the pain.

Then he let out a chocked gasp as L's fingers brushed something. The sensation was unbelievable, flooding through him, almost too much. L smirked and brushed it again.

"I take it Raito knows what this is?" all he received was another gasp, but he couldn't really complain. He continued to stretch the younger man, until the hands started pushing him away.

"L…too much…" the body was responding to the stimulation know, arching to take more of the fingers in, and L realized that Raito must have been close. He withdrew them; smiling at the look Raito presented him when he registered the loss. He leaned over the other.

Raito's eyes shined as they looked up at him, filled with something L couldn't quite place, an emotion that made his heart clench, but as the brunette relinquished the remainder of control he held, releasing his hair, the pain stopped.

"L." the brunette said quietly.

The detective didn't need him to say anything else. Neither one of them could wait a moment longer. He needed to be inside the other.

He gasped in surprise as Raito's hand suddenly closed around him. The slick, wet feel of the lotion, combined with the heat from the hand was a momentary shock. He was stroked a few times, before pulling the hand away.

He repositioned himself once more above the other, aligning himself at Raito's entrance. This was it, this was what they wanted, no it was what they _needed. _The dark eyes fluttered shut. Never had L wanted something as badly as he did at that moment.

When he felt the hands frame his face, his eyes flew open, slightly startled, as they focused upon the chocolate orbs once more.

"Don't close your eyes," he said desperately. "I want to see you. And you, I want you to see me. No one else. I don't want to share this..."

Raito tensed again as L pressed into him, and the pain assaulted him as he did so. It hurt, and he knew that it would subside, but it didn't make the hurt any less. His eyes narrowed, in an attempt to focus on the man above him, and not on himself.

Then he felt a hand at work, rubbing small circles along his thigh, willing him to relax once more. This, combined with the lack of movement from L allowed him to compose his thoughts briefly as he continued to look at the detective. He was doing this for L. He was going to give the detective something that he had never given another, show just how much he cared. L was bracing one arm on the side of his head, and it was shaking slightly from trying to support him as he continued his encouragement.

When L felt the brunette's arms wrap around his neck, he felt the tension ease and he started to press himself within the body further. The brunette was in pain, but he made no movement or indictation that he was except from the look in his eyes. When he was fully sheathed he stopped again.

Only now, when he was no longer distracted by the mesmerizing eyes, did he feel just how constricting the man was, and how warm. He wanted to move, but he wouldn't, not yet.

His previous choice of bed partners, whether male or female, it hadn't mattered to him. That sex had always been fierce, fast, and focused on pleasuring themselves and not the other. It was different for L to actively want to pleasure another, but Raito wasn't anyone else either. He was…special. Important. But he had also known that this was going to be completely different from anything he had done before.

When the brunette had finally nodded, L gave a nod in response, before shifting his hips experimentally. He was tight, unbelievably so, and they both gasped at the feeling. He pulled out again, before thrusting in deeper, the tightness of the body stealing his breath away. He continued to give slow thrusts while palming the slightly diminished erection.

Suddenly, Raito's nails dug into him. "L…just…move! Just-" he moaned as L pulled out almost entirely before thrusting inward once again. The hiss of pleasure coupled with the arch of Raito's hips let him know that he had found what he other needed.

But he didn't start pounding into the other either. He knew that this wouldn't last long, but he wanted to try to make it last as long as possible anyway. As he continued to move, Raito's hands began to roam once again, just staying in one place long enough to make him moan, before moving elsewhere.

But the most arousing thing, more than the noises, more than the body before him, and more than the lingering touches, were the brunette's eyes. They resembled coffee, clouded over with a smoky lust and passion. He just couldn't pull his eyes away.

"Hahn…" he moaned as the body met his thrusts, pushing into and pulling back in an indiscernible rhythm as the other clawed at his back.

"Don't…stop…" the brunette pleaded as l pressed against his body, possessing him in a way no other had done, marking him, and branding him. His legs locked around the other, pulling him closer, as he threw his head back in pleasure.

L didn't know how long it had been, but he felt his edge approaching far more quickly than he wanted it to. His pace increased once again, as the body arched again, lifting off the bed. He knew the other was close…it would only take a bit more…

"L…L!" he cried out as L shifted within him, wrenching his pleasure forward, and he arched a final time, as the feeling overwhelmed him, and invaded him with its senses. Everything started to fade as the feeling of satiation started to take its place.

L watched the face, framed in ecstasy, for as long as possible, but it made him desperate. He pounded into the body, his face buried in the brunette's shoulder, breathing in the scent of sweat, musk, and the brunette, crying out the others name as he pushed into the body once more, matching the previous cry with his own before collapsing into the arms.

He didn't know how long they remained like that, one on top of another, heartbeats moving together as one, slowing down from their action.

No one had ever wanted him like that, no one had ever given themselves over to him the way the brunette had, and no one had ever made the simple act of sex…mean something to him. Raito most certainly meant what he said, which raised another problem.

If someone loved him like Raito did, if someone cared for him with such passion and intensity, how would he return it? Was he even able of doing so?

_'Those thoughts are for later',_ he decided as the mouth leaned upward to kiss him gently, urging him to forget. Those were thoughts for tomorrow. For now, he would just revel in what had been given to him. He returned the kiss.

When they parted, he pulled himself off the brunette rolling onto his back. He felt the exhaustion start to creep into his senses, overtake him, and when the brunette moved closer, he didn't resist the contact. His eyes closed, and sleep claimed him.

Raito watched the detective sleep, knowing that he was at peace. It resembled the first time he had caught the detective sleeping, except this time, it was for him. It was because of him. His contented face was his doing, and the mere thought of it made him want to stay awake watching the other.

But his body had other plans, and he soon closed his eyes, sighing contently as the sound of L's breathing lured him into sleep.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

**Detached:** So…there it is. My first…uh…posted lemon. Hate it? Love it? Worth pushing the review button for? I really hope I haven't dug myself into a hole with this… I tried to make it meaningful, did I succeed. Okay that's enough of that. Self doubt time is over. I don't hate my end result.

And another note here: I had this 90 written about four days after I posted the last chapter, but we had a…computer shuffle. Loretta will now be traveling to my grandmother's and I now have a new 'family member's old' computer. I am fairly certain this one doesn't like me, is male, and is in need of a name. It's a gateway, if that helps. I was thinking Alec, or maybe something ironic like Ram…

**L:** Detached doesn't own us. End of her note.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+


	15. Chapter 15

**Detached**: Well actually this was done, but I sent it to my beta (who is awesome) who then sent it back to me and then…it just sat in my inbox for a while. I'm currently in the middle of midterms and I'm going out of my mind a little bit, and I went and pulled this up and finished it for you guys. Some serious stress relief. I don't own them, as much as I would like to.

**Extra**: I just want to say thanks to my beta and all of my loverly reviewers up to this point. On with the show, shall we?

**L**: Commencing in 10…9…8…

**Raito**: Now!

---

L's eyes focused on the ceiling above him, an unfamiliar ceiling.

It had once been white and was now yellowed with age and smoke, although the room was apparently nonsmoking. There was also a scent to the room, the stale scent of-

The body beside him shifted, pulling him closer.

He glanced over, seeing just who was in bed with him.

And he smiled to himself.

The brunette was spooned against his body, still sleeping, breathing softly against his shoulder_. Raito is beautiful like this,_ he thought to himself as he focused his gaze upon the other.

Not that the man wasn't beautiful to begin with; but…there was just something…serene about this image. Raito was relaxed when he slept. He wasn't the defender of the world, or an all-knowing doctor, or a perfect citizen. He was just Raito.

With that comforting thought, L relaxed in the other's sleeping embrace, shifting minutely so as to not wake the other, and continued to stare.

His fingers lightly trailed across the tanned face, pushing the no longer pristine hair aside, the small smile upon his face widening as he did so.

He lazily trailed his hand down Light's face, his fingertips resting on the hollow of brunette's throat. He could feel Light's heartbeat. It thudded slowly, moving along with the brunette's deep breathing.

They paused on Raito's neck, tracing the outline of a mark, a mark that he had made on the brunette. His brunette. His lover.

L was filled with an inexplicable warmth at the concept.

His lover.

That was what Raito was now, wasn't he? Even with the physical evidence under his fingertips, he was still having a difficult time acknowledging that yesterday had actually happened. That Raito actually…loved him.

But was it really the brunette?

How much of Raito was Raito?

And how much of Raito were Amber and Light? How much of him belonged to its previous inhabitants, each with their own goals and desires?

He'd seen the similarities, had made the parallelisms within his mind, their actions, their reactions, even their speech…

"_I never did understand how I can hate sweet things yet love how your mouth tastes my L."_

"_Well, for someone that dislikes sweets as much as I do, it is a wonder that I enjoy the way you taste."_

His fingertips stilled, the warmth disappearing almost as quickly as it had appeared. He pulled his hand back, wanting to detach himself from the brunette, yet not wanting to awaken the other.

He was trapped.

-

He needn't have worried, the tenseness of his body made the brunette, blink his eyes open wearily, reveling in the warmth of another before actually registering just how tense L's body was. He blinked again, fighting off the urge to just close his eyes once more, and focused on L.

The body tangled alongside his own was as stiff as a board, its owner unnoticing that Raito was awake, staring at the ceiling**,** with his mouth set in a grim line. If it hadn't been for the fact that his own body was practically lying on top of the detective, he'd probably have left already. Raito's heart gave a painful lurch the thought.

Raito cursed inwardly. He should have known better than to…coerce L into this. He had brought L down here, knowing that the man had not been in the most stable frame of mind, pulling him along to a hotel. Sure their relationship had been approaching this apex, but that didn't mean that yesterday had been the correct time for it. He should have known better than to even suggest something like this. He did know better, but yesterday…

Watching the detective fall like that – the body lurching forward as if he was no more than a doll; the body folding in on itself, on its pain, and the pale face staring up at him with eyes clouded with hurt and flashing with the recognition and the memory of pain, pain that Raito had apparently caused – hurt.

But that hurt didn't even compare to the suddenness of Raito's own fear as he'd watched L drop forward as old memories claimed him. He'd been terrified, filled with an irrational and improbable fear, his heart constricting in response.

He'd thought the detective dead, and even the mere recollection of the event made Raito's blood run cold. As a doctor he'd seen dozens of people die and not a single one had ever made him feel like he had felt yesterday.

As if the world had fallen from beneath his feet.

Not that the feeling gave him any reason to do what he had done, to follow L 's request, to even think of asking for more. L had been vulnerable, and he had…he'd … He should have refuted L, he should have stopped the second kiss, he should have…the list was endless each thought making his thoughts spiral and…

_No_, he told himself, _no matter what I should have done, that doesn't matter at this point. What's done is done. What matters now is…L._

He reached his hand upwards, the name falling from his lips.

"L..."

Raito jerked suddenly as his phone rang, the obnoxious noise pulling L out of wherever he had been as well. He moved away from the brunette, sitting up immediately, going to leave, but Raito reached out, grasping the arm.

"Stay," he breathed. L did, looking at the brunette with empty eyes, before glancing at the phone as it rang again.

Raito did not turn his gaze away from L as he reached over blindly for his phone, biting back a grimace as he did so, another dilemma clamoring inside of him, both physical and mental pains asserting themselves.

If it was the hospital…would he leave L? Like this?

Did he want to?

A thought like that had never crossed him mind before, his work was his life, and no person had ever come before it, whether it be his family, or a girlfriend. Nothing had ever come before his work. It was as simple as that, always had been.

Or had it?

Raito didn't know, and at the moment, he didn't really want to find out. He snapped open the phone with resignation, still not pulling his eyes away from the other, who was now staring at the opposite wall, seemingly calm, although that was probably the farthest from the truth as one could possibly get, his body was still rigid, his face set in stone.

"Yagami Raito," he replied tersely, wanting the conversation to begin, and wanting it to be over just as quickly.

"Onii-channnnn!!!!"

He gave another grimace as the highly pitched voice reverberated in his skull adding yet another pain to what seemed to be a growing list as sister continued to prattle. For once he was glad his sister had called, simply because it was not the hospital, and simply because it was his sister, he could focus on what was important, and it was certainly not his sister's voice. He pulled the phone away from his ear as the voice got louder once more.

"…and then when I came home, you were gone! Gone! I was worried! Where are you?!" the voice lowered somewhat as Raito leaned back into L, pulling the phone toward his ear.

"I'm right here."

"Funny, funny. Now seriously, where are you?"

Raito's hand reached up, sliding behind L's neck as the eyes looked down at him in surprise.

"I'm right where I want to be." And despite his doubts of yesterday, and what he should or should not have done, he did want to be where he was. He wanted this. He leaned his face upward, kissing the other hesitantly.

L kissed back, and Raito smiled into the kiss, partly from the release of the tension, and partly from Sayu's ongoing angered phone call.

"I. Do. Not. Think. You. Are. Being. Funny!" she huffed in anger, "For all I know you could have been behind a dumpster dead. You didn't leave a note or explain why you didn't come to pick Emi-chan up and then…the bathroom mirror was gone!"

Raito gave a small sigh in exasperation as they finally parted, resting his head against L's shoulder.

"I did not call you, seeing as I am a grown man that can do whatever I wish without my sister's permission. As for the mirror, it was cracked, so I took it down and can you relay my apologies to Emi-chan for not being there upon her release. Taylor came to visit me yesterday."

The phone paused for a moment, and then spoke once more.

"He's an idiot. So where are you?"

"At a hotel."

"Alone? L's not here either."

"L? He is-" the phone was pulled up to L's ear and the other man began to speak.

"Hello Sayu-chan. There is no need to inquire about my whereabouts for I am here with Raito-kun. You may tell Emi-chan that her suspicion is correct. I would also appreciate if you did not call us again. I shall return the phone to Raito-kun now."

L released the phone, and Raito stared at it dumbfounded. Sayu seemed to have recovered her voice however, which had now been replaced with an extremely loud shriek.

"I want pictures!"

Raito slammed the phone shut in horror, blinking rapidly. He swallowed loudly before turning to look at L.

"Do you realize what you've just done?" he looked back at his phone, and L thought he was attempting to set it on fire with his gaze. L was glad that the gaze was not aimed at him.

"I believe I just informed your sister of our relationship."

"No," the brunette said quietly, and L's thoughts stopped. Had Raito not wanted anyone to know? L knew that discretion and concealment would have been natural features of a relationship considering both Raito's status and his own, but he would have thought at least Sayu would know.

Perhaps Raito was just ashamed of him. There was little that he had that was worth offering the brunette. Intelligent conversation did not make one a worthy bed partner. Or perhaps Raito had realized that he did not in fact love him as he had said he did. He would not have been surprised.

Nor would L have blamed the brunette if this turned out to be the case.

Raito was freaking out, head in his hands. Sayu knew…suspected was one thing, a stuttering account from a boy with a pair of oculars was another, but an actual confirmation? From the other party?

He wouldn't be surprised in the least if she started setting up cameras. Even as a teenager, she was always taking pictures. She was good at it too, winning a few regional competitions. She'd always had a camera in her hand and he had not realized just what she was doing with her hobby until he found her darkroom.

He'd avoided his sister's cameras ever since.

Even when she decided to go to college and major in photography, she'd been allowed to use his house only on the condition that her cameras would not enter the house. She had agreed at the time, but now…he shuddered again.

L was watching Raito with wary eyes. The brunette had not said a word, but he seemed to be trying to make himself disappear, pulling his hands upward, and shutting L out.

Asking the brunette show the meaning of his words had been an egregious error on his part. Raito had been in a bad place yesterday, with an uncaring reporter dredging up past relationships and wounds, not to mention whatever his other had said to the brunette, whatever they had said. The brunette had been taken aback at his request, but had followed through with it nonetheless. Had he simply done this in thankfulness? For L's help with the recent show of human nature at the death of his last patient? That seemed like a far more plausible idea than the brunette actually wanting to sleep with him.

His thoughts swirled around in his head, but Raito still had not moved yet. Sighing once more, L stepped out of the bed.

"I shall give Sayu-chan an excuse later if that is what you wish, Raito-kun."

"What?" Raito's head snapped up, "What are you talking about? An excuse for-" his sentence stopped abruptly and he blinked again, focusing on L now, and more importantly, L's implications.

His throat was suddenly dry; his tongue like lead in his mouth, and L was turning to move again. He went to follow and suddenly speech was back, because he had cursed.

He hurt.

His back was on fire, tendrils of pain licking their way up his lower back from…yesterday's activities. He had known that it would but…

"Is Raito-kun alright?"

"Just…peachy…" he ground out, suddenly angry at the cause of his pain, although he had welcomed it the day before.

Said anger was gone in an instant, as he watched the look in L's eyes fall.

"No, L it's fine."

"But Raito-kun is in pain. Yesterday you were-"

"You did everything you could have. It'll fade soon enough."

"I should not have asked. Raito-kun is too kind-"

"What?" that was certainly not what the brunette had been expecting as an answer, he blinked, and L turned his eyes away.

"You shouldn't have asked?" he paused, thinking, "Asked what?"

L did not respond.

"Asked what?" the brunette repeated again, questioning. "L?"

"Raito-kun's proof. I should not-"

The brunette was suddenly angry again, his hand shooting out and taking the other man's.

"I did not do it because I was kind," he said firmly, "I do not sleep with others out of kindness," he paused, shifting himself forward and holding back a wince.

"I did it because I wanted to," he spoke quietly and leaned forward, taking L's lips in a warm and urgent kiss. When they pulled apart, L was staring at him in confusion.

"Just like right now. I kissed you because I wanted to," he paused, kissing the lips briefly once more, "not out of kindness."

L said nothing, but he did not move. He pulled his eyes away from Raito to glance at the phone, before staring at the ground with interest.

"Raito-kun does not need to placate me-"

"Placate you? Do you hear yourself? I wanted yesterday, even if I have some…discomfort today. And I was the one that brought you here. If anyone should be worried about reasons and reasoning, it would be me, because you…fell." His voice had trailed off and L had barely caught the last part.

Had Raito thought that he had taken advantage of him? That was a laugh. He had been the one that could not hold himself back with the brunette, causing him his pain. Even now, the brunette was shifting uncomfortably, wincing whenever he did so.

"And about Sayu," he said bringing back the previous conversation, "I did not want her to know about us so soon not because of you, but because of what I am afraid she'll do. To you, to me…to my house…my house…" he repeated the words, ideas planting themselves into his head.

L shook his head as the brunette retreated again, a smile on his face once more. He did not know how Raito could manage to do that, soothe his fears, his doubts with a few words. They weren't gone, they were still there, lingering in the recesses of his mind waiting to be touched again, but for now, he didn't care.

"I was under the impression that Sayu-chan liked me."

"She does, but…my house…"

"Raito-kun is becoming repetitive."

"No, you've unleashed a monster," he sighed again, muttering about his poor house, and L smirked.

L slipped back into the bed, leaning over the hunched form that was Raito. His hands lightly trailed across the back, kneading the knots of tension and pain.

"You know…" he drawled slowly, bringing his head up to the ear, "this was not how I originally intended to awaken you, Raito-kun. My original plan involved a bit more…" his tongue slid along the ear, and Raito gave a small shiver, "tongue." He gave a sharp nip to the neck, and Raito bit back a moan, "And teeth."

"But-"

"I didn't intend on having you again so soon, not here…" the hand trailed lower and Raito winced, "but I can think of other places that would enjoy my mouth just as much."

"Ah…" Raito moaned, leaning back into L, before turning his head aside, "N-no, L. Not-," he drew in a breath as L's ministrations continued, "I'm tired."

L's tongue stopped, his grip around the brunette's middle becoming slack, and he rested his head on the shoulder.

"Then sleep, Raito-kun." L said quietly, equally discouraged and pleased. Raito rarely ever admitted that he was tired, after all. He grumbled about how little sleep he received, but as to an actual admittance that he was tired more or less overran his disappointment at the stopping of his advancements.

Raito turned within the hold, bringing himself closer to L once more, breathing in the scent of him, and gave a small hum of contentment.

"I think I will," and with that he fell asleep once more.

L pulled the covers around the two of them, settling himself as the brunette slept once more. L didn't know what he felt for the other, not really, and his doubts echoed this.

Yet, even though he doubted himself, even though he doubted his other self, even though he doubted Light and Amber, he couldn't bring himself to doubt Raito.

Because even if he did not love Raito, he trusted him.

And for now, that was enough.

-

-

-

Raito sighed as he walked along the tiled floors, his shoes giving small taps along the floor as he did so. He paused outside a doorway, and he gave a small shake and a smile as he looked in the empty room. It wouldn't stay empty for long, he knew that, but just the fact that it was empty, just the fact that there was no long term patient to take the bed's warmth just yet, made him satisfied.

The whole floor was doing remarkably well, and he was rather proud of this fact. The past few weeks had brought little trouble, and there was even a rather promising new intern that was not unwilling to assist him on this floor, which did make his workload significantly easier.

He hated paperwork anyway.

As a doctor he did what he was supposed to do, and he did it rather well, but unlike some others, the fast paced and the up and coming were not is main focus. He loved the quiet days, the peaceful normal eight hour shifts that never held a place in television shows or novels. He knew the seemingly relative peace would not last, and for now, he would make the most of it.

He stepped out of the elevator into his office, and gave a small smirk as he saw L in his chair.

Said smirk quickly fell as he realized his desk was covered….in sprinkles.

"May I ask why my desk is covered in sprinkles?" he asked calmly, giving the other a look.

"Raito-kun is finished already? There must be some sort of record for this. No unplanned surgeries in fifteen days, and only three call ins within twenty-four. Colour me impressed."

"You have not yet answered my question L."

"These sprinkles here?" he asked waving his hand above them to clarify, "I was attempting to determine if each doughnut has one thousand as was advertised. Since I could not just determine this with one, I purchased several dozen and-"

"On my desk?"

"Raito-kun is angry, his facial nerve is tweaking."

"My desk," he repeated, pointing to the aforementioned object, "is covered in those things…"

"Well I believed that I would have more than enough time-"

"My desk," he ground out once more.

"Raito-kun is being repetitive again," L said standing up, carefully avoiding disturbing even a single pile of the confectionary decorations. As the brunette watched, he was again taken aback by how fluidly L could move if he so desired.

"Is Raito-kun still angry?" the detective whispered, suddenly in front of the brunette, encroaching his personal bubble. He leaned even closer, one pale hand against the small of his back, leaning upwards from his customary hunch to give a small kiss.

Raito knew what L was doing, he knew it. But that didn't stop him from wanting to just…forget about the whole incident.

In the past few weeks, they had done quite a few things, and L had proven himself to be a rather…insatiable lover. Raito wasn't quite sure how someone as old as L could be…as responsive as he was, but he had filed it away as just another quirk that made up the man.

But as far as chaste gestures went, L had been extremely reluctant to even respond to Raito's, never mind initiating his own. When L's hand did not move lower, and instead rested there contently, Raito felt a small smile touch his lips.

L pulled away, and the brunette fought the urge to frown, before looking back at the desk. He still disliked it, and made a point of telling L this, but somehow…it was not as important as it had been only moments ago.

"I shall clean this up, and Raito-kun shall gather his things and then we shall go out."

"Out?" the brunette questioned, wondering if he had heard the pale man correctly.

"Yes, out." L confirmed, sliding back into the chair.

"Where?" Raito was intrigued, wondering just what L was planning.

"Not here, that is for certain. You think hospital food would at least smell pleasant," he gave a grimace as he picked up several red pieces, mixing them with the white. Raito knew that train of conversation was now closed and asked another question.

"Why then?"

"There are logical reasons and illogical reasons. As far as logistics go, it has been over three weeks since our first intimate encounter and I notice that I have been remiss in my duties. Conventionally speaking I should have taken you out long ago." he added pink sprinkles to the pile before moving on to mix blue and yellow.

"You are supposed to take someone out before you sleep with them L."

"I never said I was conventional, now did I? I do not think conventional would be a word to describe any facet of our relationship." he continued to mix and match the sprinkles, making and then unmaking several various combinations.

"True," Raito conceded, giving a small nod as he turned around, walking to his filling cabinet, and withdrawing several manila folders. The x-children files. He rarely kept any information on his work computer; it was too easy to hack into the system that way. However since he did have time on his hands, he was looking over some of the older files he had. Often, a good percentage of the people were no longer living and it was his job to return the information to whomever he deemed fit to receive it.

He finished gathering up his jacket and placed the majority of the files in a rarely used briefcase before sitting back on the new couch that had recently been delivered. He wasn't entirely satisfied with it, the color did not fit with the room's colour scheme the way he had imagined it doing so. At least it was comfortable.

He leaned his head back, no longer looking at the file, and gave a small contented sigh.

"L can you just throw those away already? Not that I don't mind going out with you, but I was planning on going home and having-"

"Coffee? Raito-kun is quite boring and predictable. Did we not have an agreement on the amount of that liquid that you should ingest daily?"

"I think the several dozen doughnuts you purchased today overfilled today's sugar quota, L."

"This was an experiment. I did not need the doughnuts, but wasting food is a terrible crime. If Raito-kun would be willing to deviate and attempt other caffeinated drinks, even if it was a _different_ _brand_ of coffee," he emphasized, "then I would be willing to discount it in the daily tally."

"You are like a child, I swear," he said stretching his arms upward and feeling his shoulder give a satisfying crack.

"Can you finish up whatever you're doing? My shift is over you know." he pulled his gaze away from he ceiling to look at his lover.

L was now eating the sprinkles out of his hand as if his life depended on it. The doctor in him was slightly disturbed, considering L was eating off his desk, but it was quickly overshadowed with the image of L's tongue that was flittering out of the pale lips to capture some of the sugary treats before disappearing once more.

Little sparks of heat made his throat go dry as he watched the sight before him.

L had always eaten his sweets as if he was a starving man, but it wasn't until recently that he noticed that he rather…enjoyed watching L eat. Sometimes it made him slightly nauseous, granted, especially when it came to his tea, simply because he knew how much sugar went into it.

But this…was different. Even more so due to the fact that L was not doing it on purpose, at least not at the moment.

As if on cue, the jet orbs locked onto his once more, and he smiled, letting his tongue lick his lips invitingly, before continuing their task. Raito turned his head away, but the damage had been done. L was doing this with him in mind now.

The brunette looked back at the papers before him, not really reading it, but attempting to will away the heat that coiled up in his stomach. He had always thought his resolve was strong, mind over matter and all that, but L's tongue and his body's reactions to said appendage were disproving that theory.

"Raito-kun," L spoke, his voice darker, heavier, as he slipped out of the chair once more, appearing at the brunette's side, "not all of me is childish." And with that, he pressed their lips together in a heated kiss.

"Nmm…" he moaned as L's hands went to work on his tie, undoing the knot with relative ease, as L licked his mouth, coaxing his tongue along in their routine game for dominance.

The kiss was bitter yet sweet, possessing both parties tastes intermingling in their fervor. L's hands swiftly undid the buttons on he shirt, slipping his hands deftly inside, trailing across the sensitive stomach as his mouth moved to the brunette's neck, toying with the skin that moved beneath it.

Raito moaned again, a haze falling over his eyelids, his hands crinkling the paper he was holding. He snapped his head to the side, panting harshly, and pushing L away.

"W-what were you…are you…thinking? We're in my office!"

L cocked his head to the side, and Raito could hear the words before L even said them.

"That is a problem?"

"Yes!" he hissed, as L pulled the paper out of his hands, settling his knees on either side of the brunette, pushing their bodies even closer together.

"How so? It is your office as you said, and you also stated that your shift is over," L said this calmly, even though Raito could feel evidence to the contrary s L's hips met his own.

"No it's not…well yes but you-it's just not-" he mumbled as L returned to nuzzling his neck.

"Adequate hospital behaviour?" L murmured, his tongue stroking the most recent mark the one he had made late last night. Or had it been early this morning? He really didn't know, but that wasn't the point.

"Yes-ah-" he sharply turned his head to the side, dislodging the mouth for a moment, "It's isn't, L."

"No, using a hospital bed for an intimate act is incorrect. Using this…" he gestured to the couch, "is not." And with that, he began an attempt at pushing the brunette sideways.

"People will sit on this!" he resisted, and bit his cheek so as not to make a sound at the delicious friction that resulted.

"You didn't mind when it was at home…" L's voice trailed off, no doubt remembering the event.

"That was…different," he whispered, also remembering, digging his nails into his palms so as not to encourage L further, "It was at my house…my couch."

"You paid for this; therefore this is also your couch." He nipped the ear tenderly, his voice suddenly husky. "But now we can make it ours."

Again the brunette gave a small smile at L.

"You are quite childish, you know," he said gently, leaning up to give a kiss of his own, a small one, another chaste one that signified his agreement more than any words could have.

L returned the look, and the heat returned.

"I will no longer be fought on this?" he questioned, voice sultry as he laved the neck once more, hands resuming their trailing motions across his abdomen. Raito slid his hands under the white material, pushing it upwards, tracing the familiar contours of L's back.

L gave a shudder, his hands pausing at the brunette's belt as Raito's hands roamed the familiar expanse of skin, before trailing his mouth downwards, teasing a nipple between his teeth, hands working on the belt once more.

Raito let his mind fall into the haze of arousal, arching back with L's intentions, his hands tugging on his hips, pulling them closer.

"Raito-kun is ready already? He is the younger of the two of us after all."

"I will pointedly ignore that right now," he said sharply, an exhale of breath as L moved to his other nipple, lavishing it with the same attention, his tongue circling the round nub endlessly, before taking it between his teeth.

"Ah!," he gasped as L gripped him, giving sharp and sudden strokes, sweeping his thumb over his tip, coaxing out the liquid that made the sense of friction even sweeter, and his hands fisted the material he was holding, trying not to cry out.

"Raito-"

"Yes," he breathed, loving the sound of his name minus the honorific. The sound of it was almost as stimulating as the hand that was upon him, "yes."

The hand stilled, but did not release him, and Raito bit the inside of his cheek to stifle his whimper as L's other hand went to unbutton himself.

"Let me," he hissed, arching his back. He wanted to encourage L to move his hand, to do something, anything. His hands fumbled with the button, tugging frantically, and sighing as the fabric finally parted.

He pushed the jean down the slim hips; making sure to rub the bulge as he did so, delighting in the look his lover gave him. He hooked his leg onto the hip, pulling L between his legs, bringing him even closer, burying his hands in the dark hair.

"Raito is being rather forward," he commented, leaning closer as his hand resumed its work.

"That's-ah!" he tugged the hair, as L suddenly fisted the two of them together, the feeling of L's cock against his own being a welcome stimulus.

Raito felt L shift, and he felt fingers tracing along his jaw, trailing over his lips. He pulled the tip of one in, teasing it with his tongue, watching Ls eyes become cloudy with lust.

But he didn't want fingers, not at this moment. He wanted L

He shook his head, the movement dislodging the fingers. He leaned forward, aligning his mouth with L's ear, struggling to form words.

"Just do it," he breathed, nipping just below L's ear, rocking his hips upwards, "I don't need those." He wanted the other now, consequences be damned.

L was slightly apprehensive. Raito did not discourage preparation, he enjoyed the act of it far more than L did when their roles were reversed. The simple need that was driving the brunette made him slightly concerned.

"Is Raito good with-"

"God, L," he said impatiently, placing his hands on L's shoulders and pushing him sideways, straddling his lover. His hands reached blindly for his jacket, fumbling with the black mass for several moments, before pulling out a small bottle. He uncapped it, pouring some into his hand, and the scent of vanilla and cinnamon made itself known.

"Take that thing off already," he motioned toward the shirt as his hands wrapped around L before sliding up and down at a brutally fast pace.

"Rai-to!" L cried out as he bucked into the hand, inching his shirt off, only to have Raito's tongue follow its path. The ligament attacked his center, tracing the spiral outwards, the hand still moving relentlessly, coating his shaft liberally.

He glanced up from his position at the spiral, their eyes meeting, and L's heart threatened to burst from his ribcage at the sight.

Raito's eyes were on fire, need shining in them clearly, and the heat in his stomach coiled further, heat building far faster than usual.

The previously shining eyes darkened suddenly, and the tanned hands started to yank at the shirt.

"Hahn," L moaned at the instant loss of contact, biting his lip in frustration. He dug his fingers into the brunette's hips, delighting in the look that overtook the other's features as Raito's body molded to his own. The tugging resumed, and L lifted his arms momentarily, allowing his shirt to be tossed somewhere far away, before lowering them back to the slim hips.

Raito touched his forehead to L's, placing himself above the pulsating heat, drawing in a sharp breath as he began to lower himself.

The familiar burning feeling assaulted him, the sensation of being stretched and filled. Yet it was sharper somehow, more acute than usual, and he bit his lip, his breath coming in short, choppy pants.

L's grip tightened, steadying him, and he placed his arms on the decorated shoulders as L placed soft kisses all over his face, his lips, his nose, his eyelids, murmuring soothing words against his over sensitized skin.

"Ahh…L…" he cried as the rest of the length slipped inside, the burn intensifying. L's mouth steadily pried his lips open, taking control of their kiss as one hand moved from his hip to take hold of him once more, moving slowly yet surely, the slow tantalizing movements lessening the pain with each stroke.

"Raito…nnn…Raito," L mumbled, reigning in his control.

In the beginning, L had held back. Quite a bit, in fact. He had given the brunette no fewer than three days between each of their first encounters, and had not allowed more than one round from himself. Only recently had he escalated to more, and this was asking him to push even further, allowing Raito to have a dominantly submissive position, he didn't know if he could trust himself not to overdo it with the brunette.

But said brunette did not care, or was too far gone to care at the moment, pushing himself up, and allowing himself to sink back down.

"Hnn…L!" he pushed himself up again, resting his head on L's neck, just below his ear, allowing L to hear every sound, every intake, every exhale, every whimper and moan, everything.

His fingers grasped the hips fiercely, assisting the movement the brunette clearly wanted. For several tense seconds there was no sound besides the sliding of skin on skin, coupled with unintelligible speech, and then…

"L!" he practically sobbed with joy as his prostate, that wonderful little bundle of nerves inside him was struck. He pushed himself up again, his arms shaking with the effort. His body was close, so close…

L's pace slowed for a moment, and a barely suppressed whimper escaped the full lips pressed against his neck. L slowly leaned backwards, pushing Raito further back as one of his hands dislodged itself from the hip to rearrange Raito's hands on either one of his thighs.

He gave an experimental thrust as his hand returned, and Raito let out a gasp as L hit him with accurate precision, the armrest curling underneath his back allowing him to arch perfecting into his willing body.

He shook with the effort, his hands griping the muscled thighs, L's pace approaching relentless, which was the exact tempo his body needed.

"Raito-hah-tight!" L breathed darkly, his eyes filled with need, the broken sentences confirming just how close he was.

L hit him with surprising force and accuracy, and he clenched around the appendage in response, his own member throbbing painfully.

L arched further, his hair practically brushing the floor, in tandem with Raito's inner movement, and keened softly, letting himself go.

Raito's cry outdid L's as he spilt himself, still moving his hips, coaxing everything he could out of his lover, the nerves in his body running on maximum, the pleasure so intense it was vaguely painful, but it was a pain he wanted, a pain he craved.

L's arms wrapped around his neck, pulling himself up, the two locked in an awkward embrace.

"Raito-" he whispered, his breath cool against his flushed skin, the sensation causing him to shudder.

"I know…I know," Raito responded, not having quite caught his breath, burying his head into the shoulder once more, wrapping his legs around his lover, keeping him inside for just a moment longer, ignoring the over stimulatory pain. He wanted to be close to L, and this was as close as one could possibly get.

L sighed, wrapping his arms around Raito, weariness overtaking him as he fell into the post coital haze that he was apt to do recently. He rarely fell asleep, but time would pass without his notice.

When his leg began to prickle, close to falling asleep, he nudged Raito, burying his nose into the tousled hair, the scent of strawberries tingling his senses.

"Raito-kun…it is time to get dressed," he murmured as he nudged his lover once more, and the eyes opened blearily.

"L…I-I…" the voice was weak and strained, and L leaned closer, giving the brunette a chaste kiss.

"Shh, Raito-kun," he said quietly, his own voice feeling slightly overused. He looked aside, seriously debating just remaining here with his lover even despite the lecture he was sure to receive.

The body curled closer, still murmuring in his ear, and L sighed, giving in. his closed his eyes, breathing deeply.

"I haven't felt anything like that in a long while," the voice chuckled darkly, and L's eyes snapped open.

He pulled back, staring at the now golden eyes and his own eyes narrowing into slits, glaring at the other.

"Amber."

**Detached**: Lemon factor? I don't really know what I'm doing at this point any more. My story has sort of taken me along for the ride, and we'll just see what happens, shall we? I should, (should being the key word, mind you) have finished this in about four-five more chapters. Then I have another one coming up, but I don't really know, I'm sort of debating as to what it'll be. I'll put up a poll when I get the chance. Two of them would have big religious themes, and the third, my AU child will make an appearance eventually, but it will have lots of lyrics and angst, so I always am finding different ideas depending on my mood.

**Extra Quick Question**: Sayu? Yes? No? The "I want pictures!" came about from a typing error as I tried to type this chapter with my own sister screaming for the camera (which she lost) because she wanted her pictures for some project. I wrote it and laughed when I came back to it, because it fit. The whole photography thing though I was wondering if it was a bit much...


	16. Chapter 16

**Detached**: Well…hello. I've uh… Happy (Easter) Sunday! (Whether you celebrate the Christian version, the Greek version, the Easter Bunny chocolate version (yum), some version I don't know, or not at all) Don't kill me for being so late. Oh and this is unbetaed, so there might be minor mistakes. I really just wanted to give you guys he next chapter…so here you go.

Quick Note: I dislike Takada (if you haven't realized) so some Takada bashing, courtesy of Amber.

_The body curled closer, still murmuring in his ear, and L sighed, giving in. He closed his eyes, breathing deeply._

"_I haven't felt anything like that in a long while," the voice chuckled darkly, and L's eyes snapped open._

_He pulled back, staring at the now golden eyes and his own eyes narrowing into slits, glaring at the other._

"_Amber."_

"In the flesh," the voice murmured contentedly, a sly grin upon his face, "I must say it is rather nice to see you again, not to mention…" Amber paused, shifting slightly and L was reminded of the fact of just where he was, "feeling you again."

"It is not your body," L stated, his eyes narrowing. Amber was unfazed.

"Raito's flesh then," he corrected as L attempted to pull away. The arms merely encircled him tighter, keeping him in place.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," he tutted, and L could easily see Amber waving an imaginary finger at him. "We wouldn't want to worry Raito-kun now would we? You've been doing so well at keeping him in the unknown, after all."

L's throat constricted as he glared at the man before him, while Amber's smirk merely widened.

"Oh yes, I haven't confronted you over this, but dear Raito has become increasingly worried over this…unique relationship you seem to have with him," he paused dramatically, "…with us." His smirk became a smug grin as he continued, "Not that he knows anything, but Light's worries make him worry. And Light certainly has been agonizing over it. He is so _undeserving_ after all." He stressed the word, sarcasm evident in his voice.

"Why do you say that?"

"I don't think he's undeserving," he stated simply, "I'm just repeating verbatim. He thinks that we don't deserve this," he brought his face closer, "and by this, we mean you."

L's breath caught, simply from the fact that it was Raito's face that was so close to his own. He paused, taking a breath, the few moments he needed before he trusted himself enough to form a sentence.

"Why are you here then?"

"That's the question, isn't it?" he asked, the playfulness in his tone gone, "Why are we here? Why aren't we trapped forever in nothingness? Why were we able to make a deal with Fayte? Why were we even _allowed_to make such a deal with Fayte? What did you do to allow us that? You hated me from the start and I hated you, yet you were willing to save me anyway. For Light. So the million dollar question L, _Why did you do it?"_

The look Amber was giving him made L feel the need to respond, to retaliate in some way, even though he had not the slightest clue as to why himself.

"I-"

"I don't expect you to know, "he said simply, "and I know Lawliet isn't-"

L reacted instinctively at the mention of his name, shoving the other away violently, his mind blank. His thoughts from just moments ago were gone, and suddenly it didn't matter if he had to explain himself to Raito later or not. Everything had been erased by the simple fact that _that name_ was coming from _those lips_ was too much to handle.

"How? How do you know that name?" L pulled his hands toward himself, biting his tongue to prevent himself from shaking. "How?" he croaked out once more, cursing the weakness in his voice yet unable to control it.

Raito- no- Amber, he told himself, blinked, before the spark of connection flew through his eyes. His gaze dropped and L heard him sigh heavily.

"That's-ah-shit," he placed his head in his hands for a moment, before focusing once again.

"We knew that name from when you were younger," he stated, but the refusal to look L in his eyes, the first time Amber had actually actively done so, made L suspicious, helping ground him back into the present. Anything was better than dwelling on that.

"There's more than that, isn't there? Why would he pick that name of all my names?"

Amber looked up and grinned, "And why did I pick Amber of all names? I could have just as easily picked Kira. But then again, as the fashion for my name goes, someone else chose it, for reasons I really can't say." He shrugged haughtily, and his smile widened.

"But that's not the answer you want is it?" he asked leaning back, sprawled out on the floor, running his hand through his hair, acting as if he belonged there, "You want to know why? Sure we knew you then, but it was also your name from before, a name we've never been able to scream. Ever." The moment, the brief moment of uncertainty was long gone, replaced with the cheeky smile of someone who clearly knew more than L himself did.

L blinked, wanting Amber to tell him more, but it seemed as if the brunette was finished with him today, looking down at himself with interest.

"Such a beautiful body we have…" he placed his hand above him, looking though his fingers upward towards the ceiling.

"Yet no body compares to yours, not ours, and definitely not those we've been with. Neither in this life or our previous. Now that I think about it, our taste isn't much different either. That bitch Takada got lucky twice. And twice she fucked up. Two lives, and still couldn't get her man. Stupid bitch."

Whatever questions L had were suddenly gone at the mention of the woman.

"What?"

"I bet you're interested, aren't you?" he looked back towards L, his hand in his hair again. He continued without waiting for L's response.

"Well, at the basest level, we went to college together. I was the male with the highest entrance scores, along with you. And she was fourth or fifth, and the top female. We fit together rather nicely. But she wasn't a challenge." He rolled his shoulders, his hand dropping down to rub the back of his neck, his fingers pausing as they met a hickey.

"We were together, and I left her behind when I-" he paused suddenly, his eyes narrowing in anger, "when we began to work, but we met her again later. She was a newswoman. She became the Kira spokeswoman."

"Kiyomi Takada?" L questioned disbelieving.

"Yeah, the length of her hair really does make the difference. Also she dresses more conservatively this time around. Too bad her sex wasn't better this time around too." He shrugged, "Well you've converted me. Your tongue can do things most only dream of. And believe me, she doesn't even compare. Not then, and certainly not now. I actually find your uncertainty quite attractive. You would have never displayed such a thing openly before." Amber let his eyes travel across L's body, licking his lips as he did so.

The advances were unexpected. Raito was definitely not so free with his words, or his attraction. Amber certainly was different in this respect.

Something must have been conveyed in his look, L deduced, because Amber merely grinned in response.

"You already broke us down once, so I don't see the point in pretending to act like Raito," he stretched out further, displaying his body. "It's not like you haven't seen it all anyway. Now back to Kiyomi. We made her ours, spouted some lines about making her our queen, and she became our pawn. Easy enough, really. But she wasn't intelligent enough to keep herself out of trouble, and got caught. She became a liability, so I killed her." He gave a hoarse laugh, a wild grin on his face.

"Funny. Actually it was her death that helped tipped the scales in your heirs' favor." He paused once more, and L saw the clear anger running through the gaze.

"I know you probably have questions, but I can't say anymore about that, so don't ask." Amber said as he stood up, surprising L. he walked over to his desk-no Raito's, L told himself. He started to search, not caring in the slightest at his state of undress.

"I suppose the moral of that touching little tale is not to cheat, Karma and all that. That's probably what she'd tell me too. Bah." He moved around the desk with fluidity, obviously knowing its layout. L looked away from Amber gathering his own clothing, thinking to himself.

"So you killed her because she was no longer of any use to you?" the thought of determining life in terms of usefulness or uselessness was rather a depressing one.

"Yes," he admitted unabashedly, wiping himself with whatever he had found in the desk, "we did. She was a tool I had access to, so I used her. I had few options at the time. Your heirs had put your leftover pieces together, pinning us to the proverbial wall.

"So where did my death factor into this?"

"Well…" the brunette paused, starting to dress himself, "I always start what I finish. Including killing you." He pulled his pants up, buttoning them quickly.

L froze; his insides suddenly plunged into ice as he watched Amber dress, the feeling was even worse than the feeling of a ghost running through him. The same voice that told him he loved him had just admitted to killing him. The voice persisted, but it nothing more than static to L's ears, the ringing of the previous words echoing inside of his skull.

"Hey L-look at me." the voice was suddenly closer and L's gaze snapped back onto the other, who sighed.

"I was hoping you'd react. Lawl-" he stopped, catching himself, "your other kicked me square in the jaw when I told him that. Yes, I may have orchestrated your death, but we both knew that we held one another's lives, played a very dangerous game, stringing one another along in a competition of wills and endurance." There was a pause and L saw him smile forlornly.

"And yes, I may have won the battle and my life against you, but I didn't plan for every round. I won the battle, only to lose the war to your precious pawns. You let them finish the game we started, turning something beautiful into something crude and degrading. If I had not been restricted, we could have played a beautiful last inning."

"You were restricted? Was that not my purpose?"

"Not by you, but another. My hand was forced, played far sooner than I originally intended, anticipated. Like I told I may have obtained my win, achieved my intended goals, but you always managed to defy my expectations. Just when I thought I knew everything, when I had planned out my endgame, you managed to find an opening, and took your liberties, surprising me constantly. My checkmate was false, merely pseudo to the reality." He sighed once again, staring down at his hand, watching it curl upon itself slowly.

"I made a fatal mistake, and tried desperately to fix it, playing to the best of my ability, but a fatal mistake is just that, no matter when or where it is played."

L watched this in silence, absorbing the information carefully. There was something ethereal about Amber like this, something all knowing and yet still human, regret clearly reflected upon his face.

L despite himself, was wondering just what had pushed Raito so far, made him take high risk chances as he did, and paying for them years later.

There was also a part, an extremely small part, but a part nonetheless, that wanted to know why out of a misplaced jealously. He didn't know why he felt any need to be jealous over the reason that his previous self had been killed, yet he clearly was.

"What forced you so much? What interrupted your strategy?"

"A woman. Two women actually. Surely you know I wasn't the only Kira? You did know of Amane Misa, yes?"

"Amane Misa, the model?" he questioned, giving Raito a look, "She forced you?" the jealously if anything, increased at Raito's nod.

"How is that possible? Even if the second Kira could only kill with a face, she would have done no such thing to the first Kira. The second Kira worshiped the first."

"Yes, and she would have willingly died for me as well. Yet, I was forced, forced to release her, to spring my plans, to make a deal…and as always, I finish what I start. Including promising her protector my presence, if not my love, in exchange for her life." There was a sigh and Amber was suddenly interested in his hand once more, his fingers trailing across it.

"Such a foolish girl…she reached for me when she knew that she couldn't even possess a quarter of what I was. Of who I was. There was no love for her, only need. I needed her, I needed her abilities."

L pondered what could have possibly have forced Amber into anything, and his solution was not an entirely pleasing or believable thought.

"Her protector…you mean Shinigami?" L questioned, giving Raito a deadpanned look, "They are only loyal to themselves and what belongs to them. Ryuk and Sidoh certainly would not have protected the girl, no matter how cute she was."

"Do not refer to her as cute," Amber snapped, his eyes narrowed in sudden anger. "You used to goad me into a response with that line before. And I'll remind you that we can be quite jealous," he sat back on the couch, licking his lips.

"Just like you. How you used to tease us…" There was a glazed look in his eyes for a moment, and L walked over to the corner, picking up his own shirt. The movement seemed to have brought him out of his thoughts and he started on L.

"Besides, how cold you possibly know of Sidoh? Or shinigami in general?"

"When we first met, you assumed that I learned of Kira from a secondhand source. Your assumption was correct, but you never did inquire as to exactly whom I learned the tale from."

"Near himself," Amber finished; a slightly awed look within his eyes, "he lived then." It was more of a statement than a question, L had already discussed the outcome of Near with Light, but he had not mentioned the length of Near's life up until this point.

"A long and healthy life."

"One can't really blame him for getting straight back to the good stuff, then?" he gave a slight smile, but it quickly faded, "He must have been…approaching a hundred a least… to live that long…" he looked away from L, toward the ground.

"That wasn't supposed to happen," he admitted quietly, interested in his hand yet again, "No one was supposed to survive more than five years after that day. But my own pawns did not trust me as explicitly as yours did, I must admit."

"You have a number of excuses." Amber seemed to reassert himself as L spoke, his tone returning to normal.

"Of course I do. I am a sore loser, just like you. But I did admit to your win, did I not? Besides my statement was truth. I gave orders and he refused to follow them. At least in this lifetime I was smart enough to not sleep with him."

The creature inside of L raged once more at the statement, and he snapped at Amber. "Why are you informing me of all of your sexual conquests?"

"Because you deserve to know just how different you really are. Teru was just a replacement for you anyway."

"Teru?" Why were there so many similarities in the names? Takada, Sayu, Raito, and Teru…not to mention his own 'heirs'. How many had been reborn here? But he kept his questions to himself for the moment as Amber carried on with his tale.

"Yeah, Mikami Teru. Do you know that name? he was a good at what he did, and a prominent Kira supporter, but I don't think he lived long enough to make a proper name for himself."

"I know the name." L stated, and he did, but Amber was correct on most points. L had read of the prominent Kira supporters, but Mikami Teru had gone with relatively little to tie him to Kira.

"He was my proxy, along with Takada." Amber was sliding on Raito's button down, folding the cuffs back as he spoke.

"Proxy Kiras? Near-"

"I know what Near said. I remember every word. Yet Near kept the name to himself didn't he? He probably kept all the human names to himself, retelling a criminal's story with false names in its place." His fingers had gone to straightening his shirt, glaring at the wrinkles, as if attempting to scare them away. When that failed, he started to smooth them down, his voice remaining constant.

"Did he ever mention his suspicions on the two of us? I know he did suspect, he spoke to me as if I'd defiled his hero, and I suppose in a way I had. And then I killed his lovers and left him alone. Near had every right to hold quite an amount of resentment towards me. But I would never have wished him a prolonged life. We'd had years without you, and even with replacements…" he started to button his own shirt up.

"But replacements are nothing more than pale copies of the original. You heirs would have perished long before if they had not decided to work as one. Replacements can't match up to the original. Nothing I did even came close, Not Teru, not Takada, not Misa, not even those one time lovers, nothing even came close." Amber suddenly had the utmost concentration in his tie, although L knew that Raito could do it on only one cup of coffee.

"I turned to another, one who had actually known of us, yet said nothing, letting his intelligence interfere with his instinct. An instinct that could match yours is he only listened." The hands stopped moving, before undoing the tie, as if unsatisfied with it.

"I actively pursued him, hoping that I could coax out the instinct, harness it for my own purposes, my own needs. And if I could intoxicate myself, we could even lose ourselves for a few moments. I twisted him for my own desires, not caring if I broke his heart in the process. I tore him between his ideals and reality, his love for me torturing him, his feeling of betraying you, and wanting me. We also hold regret for that. For attempting to slake our loneliness by tearing apart another."

The tie slid into place, and even the movements of Amber's fingertips had ceased suddenly plunging the room into a rather long and pained moment of silence, the previous words almost echoing in the unadorned room.

"But regrets are not the now." Amber stated suddenly, and L was rather surprised at the renewal of sound, "Now, through Fayte, we have somehow been offered a way to redeem ourselves with Raito. Reborn, surrounded by similar souls, with a mission to save as many as we killed. An impossible task, if you go by numbers alone, as you would obviously know."

L nodded, waiting for the explanation.

"Yet a death does not only affect the deceased. A death affects many, but a life redeemed affects twice, if not three times as many. And I know that you visualize the shadows that surround us, those remnants of our tarnished history."

"They are not the same as a spirit however."

"No, one would not expect them to be. They are there to merely weigh on Raito's soul, to keep him within a profession that he would not have chosen for himself. He enjoys doctoring, but this power game that the others play…it is beyond him. He has skill, and that does and will do more for him than anything else possibly could."

His voice stopped; and Amber was looking at his hand yet again.

"What is it with that hand?" L wanted to say that he knew of the scar there, but the simple look of aguish that overtook Amber's features prevented his voice from working properly.

"Ah, that. You noticed." It was not a condescending tone of voice, merely an observation, no matter how obvious the observation may have been.

"Our dreams? We discussed them yes?" he did not wait for a response before answering his own question, "The one where you were there, after we had awoken in pain-it was due to this-" he waved his hand briefly, "-and upon how we received it."

"I can't discuss the circumstances, but we were shot. Twice. Forced to endure the spilling of flesh, from skin, skin from bone, blood pouring freely, overwhelming our senses, an agonizing cry of pain and hopelessness. It was a mark of our defeat, two of the final nails upon our blood-stained coffin."

"Aside from defeat, it was also betrayal. Of our plans, of our hopes, of our lover, of even Light and I. He was ready for the end, you know. He'd spoke of nothing else except our death. And you. And when it faced us…we ran. We ran from the demon that had possessed us so thoroughly, the devil that I had created for Light, the poison within our mind. I gave it up."

"But it was too late, the memories, even for the last agonizing and tortuous final seconds, the memories refused to leave. We ended up somewhere, on stairs, the pain in our hand blinding us until…we felt it."

L had realized, rather belatedly, that Amber was now mere inches from him once more. The eyes, filled with emotions Raito had yet to express, had entranced him, pulling him closer without even his own realization.

"We felt the first surge of the experience called death; the rushing of blood, the pounding in our ears, the pain, oh the pain…it far outstripped the agony that had been our hand mere moments before. We were limited to seconds…mere seconds…and the blackness was closing in around the corners of our eyes…"

"-and we saw you. Looking the same as you had done all those years ago. Not aged a single day. And for once, for once in those fucking lonely years, we didn't think. We didn't weigh consequences or benefits. We wanted you, so…we reached."

L, despite himself, was caught up in the tale, the tale of Amber's death, of the mass murderer Kira, something Near had never mentioned to him. Near had said the body was found ad disposed of, nothing as to specifics.

"And you…you smiled. We lurched again, and suddenly there was a relief, an ice cold relief spreading though us, calming our overheated and thrumming body in its last seconds of life. You had…had…_reached back_." The words were stressed, a clear sound of awe in the voice.

L suddenly felt Amber's hand on his chest, and this touch was anything but sexual, the hand resting over the steady thrum of his heartbeat.

"No matter what your intention at the time, good or ill, your hand on our heart…soothed us in the end. And as the blackness claimed us…we thanked you." A slight intake of breath and then he added, "I daresay that when Near found us, with a smile on our face."

Amber's other hand was reaching for L's placing it upon his own chest, and L felt the resounding beat. Somehow this, simple, clothed contact was incredibly intimate.

"We owe our life to you. We owe our afterlife to you as well."

Then silence reigned, Amber's hand not leaving his heart, and L feeling Amber's beneath his own fingertips.

"Thank you."

And then the body pitched forward, L caught the other man on pure instinct alone. He carefully set Raito upon the couch and immediately went to finish dressing the both of them. If he had brought up Amber's reappearance now, it would get in the way. Besides, he had to mull over it.

He just hoped Amber had not been lying when he said that he had shared the body with Raito during sex.

-

-

-

Raito had awoken a few minutes later, and the sated smile that had graced his face when he did made L's insides curl. L had never thought that a smile could be so incredibly arousing. But Raito had a way with his facial expressions.

Caring, considerate, serious, terrified (Sayu induced of course), downright sultry…he gave a small grin as Raito went about attempting to straighten himself up.

"You dressed me?" the voice was rather incredulous, "and properly, at that?" He was attempting to fix his hair, but it did not seem to want to fall perfectly any longer. They stepped into the elevator, Raito still scowling somewhat at his hair.

"I do not see the point in redressing you at home," L said blandly, "Because you are open for my viewing pleasure. But here…" he gave a shrug, "I would immensely dislike sharing you."

"I would hope so," Raito said, dismissively as they left the elevator, "because that would be a bit much for me to handle." He kept his tone even, and his words were now rather ambiguous.

"I think you can _handle_-" L stressed the word delicately, watching the back of Raito's neck color ever so slightly and bit back his grin. He opened his mouth to complete the statement when another voice interrupted them.

"One moment, Raito-san," Takada said suddenly, and L spun his eyes around to look at her. She was currently talking to another nurse, but it did not matter to L. Her very presence was annoying. As if having Amber ruin their afterglow wasn't bad enough, now he had this…thing to deal with.

The fact that she had already screwed up things for Raito no once but twice, was a relief. It was a rather bittersweet thought, however, because he had found this fact out from his murderer.

He aw her eyes graze over Raito, his usually immaculate hair slightly mussed, even despite his attempts to fix it, and the fact that his clothes were no longer pristine. Her nose wrinkled in distaste and L gave a internal smirk. Raito did look thoroughly fucked; after all, the slightly vacant look in his eyes was priceless.

L had luckily, not had to have a serious conversation with Raito about Amber, after all. L could take him (home first, Raito would demand a shower) and then out. They could discuss Amber's reappearance later.

This simply made her presence all the more annoying to L.

Raito sighed slightly. He was rather looking forward to whatever L had in store for him. But first, he had to go home and shower. What had happened in the office-he looked at Takada, quickly shutting down that particular train of thought. He was actually slightly irritated at the fact that she was here. The way she was glaring at L was simply unacceptable.

"Yes, Imai-san?" he said quickly as she dismissed the other nurse. Her tone to the other nurse was sharp, condescending even. He hated hearing it, knowing that the other woman was just as competent as Takada, but simply had fewer years of actual practice.

Her body turned toward him, perfectly dressed as always, not a hair out of place. Considering his own slightly disheveled state of dress, his irritation increased.

"Well, I was wondering if you would," she paused briefly, the slightest intake of breath, and Raito cut her off.

"Takada," he said seriously, her eyes opening wider at the use of her first name without an honorific, "I have no desire to go out with you. Yes, I will be attending the charity event, and no, you will not be my date. I think I can contend with my female admirers alone this year."

His eyes traveled to L, and L saw the briefest of smirks within them.

L was surprised at the woman's persistence. He would not have suspected that she would try to be so bold. But Raito did seem to appreciate boldness, so perhaps it was not altogether surprising.

"Not to mention, I am quite content with my current," there was a slight pause, and L could not tell if it was out of anticipation or hesitation. He hoped it was the former. "…lover. They can be rather…jealous."

The spark in those eyes was clearly Raito, yet all L saw was Amber. He wondered yet again of how much of Raito was in fact his own persona. But L was drawn from his thoughts as he saw that her eyes were upon him once again, and this time she was not even attempting to conceal her glare.

"Then why does it matter if you're not willing to bring them along? Can they not handle appearing at you side?" the words spilled out of her mouth like liquid metal, red and burning, diving straight for L.

L felt as if someone had tossed cold water on him. The words had struck, but certainly in not the way she had intended. L had no qualms about his own appearance, but Raito might. He knew a public setting with the both of them might as well be career suicide for Raito. Even his now becoming frequent visits to the hospital were probably detrimental to the brunette's career.

He'd never thought of it that way before, simply because he regarded Raito as his equal. And he was, mentally. But as far as their physical appearances went, even if he didn't have any scars…it wasn't a pretty image.

Compared to Raito, L knew he was thin and bony, with awkward angles and wide eyes framed with insomnia. His wardrobe had no thought put into it either, besides the fact that it covered all that needed to be covered. His eating habits were atrocious, and he was always pale.

Raito on the other hand was everything he was not. He was perfectly proportioned, tall yet slender, with the almost auburn hair that framed his face. He was tanned, and had the most beautiful pair of eyes L had ever seen, crimson gold one moment, liquid chocolate the next, hazel confusion…L could lose himself in those eyes.

Yes, he certainly did not belong beside such an exquisite creature. But Raito, for some reason wanted L, and told him this almost periodically. Raito didn't mind touching him, in fact, he seemed to enjoy it. And they slept together more often than not, but L still wondered how Raito had wanted him despite his appearance. And Imai's words were simply centering his fears. If she suspected, others were soon to follow.

Raito felt himself bite the inside of his cheek. Takada was insulting him, and more importantly insulting L. It was difficult enough trying to make L believe that he loved him; the matter of appearance also came into play when it was L.

Despite L's hesitations about his scars when they were uncovered, if they were covered L had no problems with the way he presented himself, Raito knew that. But, Raito also knew that L _would_have a problem with the way he appeared when he stood next to Raito. He cared about the doctor's reputation, which was affected by who he chose to spend his company with. If people actually knew that L lived with him, he was positivethat his popularity would take a nosedive.

But it didn't matter. None of that mattered. He had skill, and that was far more of an asset than his face was. And the company L presented him with had far more of an influence upon his intelligence and his skill than anyone he actually worked with.

"I will extend them an invitation out of respect, and if they choose to accept I will certainly appear with them by my side, but does that matter? They have just as erratic a schedule as I, perhaps even more so, for they also work on overseas affairs. And neither one of us lets our relationship be affected with our work."

The eyes snapped back to him, a look of longing and sadness in them, but her mouth did not stop.

"Then you don't love them, then?" _like me_, her eyes echoed, "if your work is more important then they are?"

"Who said that?" he said quickly, wanting to look at L, but refusing to let himself do so. "If I was asked to do so, I would. But they would never ask such a thing of me, because that is how they are." There was a pause, Takada's mouth was slightly opened, stunned by Raito words. But he wasn't finished just yet.

"I never thought that anything would mean just as much, never mind more to me than my work…Love is a funny thing, is it not, Imai-san?" the words had poured themselves out, had needed to be said, so he had said them.

Her mouth was gaping now, and he gave her a small nod as he walked past, excusing himself, his hand touching L's own briefly as he stepped out of the door to the outside.

The closing of the door snapped both L and Takada back into reality, and she turned to glare at him.

"What does he mean?" she hissed.

"Sometimes I wonder myself, Imai-san. Raito-kun can certainly do better when it comes to his choice in lovers, but I believe that choosing love is a mite more difficult than picking a lover."

"So they love him then?" there was a desperateness to her tone, a wistful longing. Whether that longing was for him to agree or not, L couldn't tell. He didn't know how much she loved the doctor.

"I do not know, Imai-san." His answer sounded hollow, even to himself. It was the truth, but the answer was almost like an easy out. He wasn't ignorant of the brunette's feelings for him, and he did feel something, but was it love? He didn't know.

Her eyes widened, surprise evident. "But you do know them yes?"

Of course she had suspected him, but now her confusion and subsequent question as to whether he knew who Raito's lover or not was surprisingly hurtful. Far more so than her previous comment about appearing at his side. It was as if she assumed that merely being with Raito made one love him.

"Yes, but love is a difficult emotion to grasp, Imai-san." He said evenly, and watched the words settle over her. The effect was instantaneous and more than a little frightening.

"You cannot be serious, Law-kun," the hiss was back, and L looked upwards blankly.

"Sometimes one must be shown love before they can experience it for themselves, Imai-san. But if Raito-kun seems to be willing to wait for a response, there is little that you or I can do to convince him of otherwise." He brought his gaze back down; thankfully her face was no longer etched with anger. "If you'll excuse me."

He began to walk away, trying not to smile at the now thoroughly confused look upon her face. He was struck by a thought and before he could stop himself he leaned in close to her, her state of shock preventing her from moving away.

"And I am rather jealous."

**Detached**: Heh, heh. I really couldn't wait to write this. I was stuck somewhere specifically, so I thought, 'let's skip it, I'll come back. What do I want to do next?' And the only note I had that I could actually use (at this moment in time anyway –smile-) was: _scene leaving office, attack Takada_: So I used it. And then the stuck piece became unstuck. All in all, rather like this chapter. Where do you think L and Raito should go for their 'date'? Open to suggestions, kinda wondering what to make them do…

**L**: Yes, yes. Where should we go? What should we do…?

**Raito**: Why does it sound dirty when you say it?

**L**: Whatever do you mean?

**Detached**: Guys…you have to say a few things, so limit the verbal sparing. And physical, while I think of it.

**L:** First, Detached doesn't own us.

**Raito**: Second, her profile has been revamped. New (future) stories are available for voting. She seems to be rather partial to something called…Drarry..? Is that a mistype?

**Detached**: No, it is not. It is a pairing. Does anyone have any good reading suggestions? I'm really not picky.

**Raito**: I don't want to know. Third she apologizes, but Loose Pages will not be rewired for death note. She may write something similar someday, but for now…nothing.

**L**: I am rather partial to the music story myself.

**Note**: All of the options have at least a page of notes and at minimum, twelve pages of writing. (except one that only has six)


End file.
